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Kuribo [old account]

Moved to halt derailment of other thread.

Well, you don't automatically win a place in peoples hearts, you have to earn that right. I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but have you read back through some of your posts as of late?  I advise you do actually read them; read them with an objective eye, and ask yourself what message you feel you're sending out about yourself with these posts.

 

The internet isn't too different from the real world these days - keep that in mind, as you ask yourself the above question.

Firstly, that has nothing to do with the fact that I am being automatically excluded for one factor which does not in any way define me. If this were to happen because of my race, there'd be an uproar. Sexuality? Uproar. Neurotype? Uproar. Social/economic class? Uproar. The list goes on...

Secondly, my posts of late have been 100% accurate in relation to my views and feelings. I genuinely do (at least) dislike the majority of people around me for reasons which I believe are fully justified. As an Aspie, I have a tendency to misinterpret things, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but IF you are suggesting that I should feel positive emotions towards my surroundings and the people around me, then I take this as a highly insulting personal attack.

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Nesf

Ok, this is how I really feel underneath it all. Everyday I have the feeling that I'm barely coping. People think I'm coping but I'm not. I'm useless and have done nothing with my life, and have no prospects for the future. I'm just hanging around, waiting to die; there's nothing left to hope for. I hate myself and my life, and I wish I had been born a different person. I wish I didn't have to be me. I hate myself for failing at my last job and at my attempt to become independent and start a new life. I'll never forgive myself for this. I have no one to talk to about my problems, I'm alone. Nobody wants to hear about my problems.

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Ben

Moved to halt derailment of other thread.

Firstly, that has nothing to do with the fact that I am being automatically excluded for one factor which does not in any way define me. If this were to happen because of my race, there'd be an uproar. Sexuality? Uproar. Neurotype? Uproar. Social/economic class? Uproar. The list goes on...

Secondly, my posts of late have been 100% accurate in relation to my views and feelings. I genuinely do (at least) dislike the majority of people around me for reasons which I believe are fully justified. As an Aspie, I have a tendency to misinterpret things, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but IF you are suggesting that I should feel positive emotions towards my surroundings and the people around me, then I take this as a highly insulting personal attack.

 

If I was sue someone on this forum for every time a slanderous remark was aimed towards me (the part in bold) I would never have to work again. In fact, the interest alone would get my grandchildren through college. It's a good thing that not a lot bothers me. 

 

Personal attack? No. If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't beat around the bush about it. I'd state it outright, and not hold any qualms about it. Your reaction though, to what was intended to be a post in good will, suggests to me that you're simply an aggressive person. Are you in real life? I don't know, really, I don't, but you've just solidified my point with regards to your online persona - and you have to realise, people don't like aggression, it's not an attractive quality, for anybody concerned, no matter the circumstances. If you want friends, you don't conduct yourself aggressively. 

 

Your posts may be 100% accurate with regards to your current feelings, I'm not doubting that, but this anger that emanates from you... Who does that hurt? I'll tell you who, it hurts no one else but you and one day it's going to make you very unwell if you don't nip it in the bud. Yes, life sucks, life throws us challenges at the most inopportune times, but what are we going to do? Cry about it? Or step up, and take responsibility for ourselves? Because only you can do that. If you don't like something, then fight, but fight in a way that actually gets the job done, don't just roll around in the mire of how shit things are, because that will do sod all for your cause. It'll only exacerbate things if anything, and suck the energy out of those around you.

 

Life will very soon be in your hands, and you'll very soon find out that it means conducting yourself in a way that is professional. If you continue to vent your anger online, as you progress through life, it'll be a matter of time before your boss stumbles upon you slagging him off. That equals, goodbye job, goodbye holiday in France, goodbye any potential reference from him, see you later, thanks for coming. 

 

Back in 2010, I claimed JSA. I was tarred with the same brush as everyone else. I was spoken down to, humiliated, received threats through the door all the time to say what sanctions I could receive if I didn't 'play ball' and one of the workers even took the piss out of my handwriting. What did I do? Well, at first, I wanted to nuke the place, but as time went on, I realised this is just how the system works I alone can't change it. They think I'm a piece of shit, well, I don't agree with them, so why should I worry about what a fat bitch behind a computer screen thinks of me? I'll play ball if they want, it benefits me at the end of the day, and while they're using energy up making judgements on me, I'll be reserving my energy to improve myself. See what I mean? I bet you're using more energy hating these people, than you are focusing on yourself. Don't, it's a waste of time. Use your energy constructively. This isn't even a case of positive or negative; its about saving your energy for what really matters. 

 

Now, with Chloe's thread, well, It doesn't matter how politically correct you get with this, because it's as relevant as a hamster turning up for a cattle judging saying he should be considered for a medal. Chloe stated specifically that she wanted to meet people in her age group? Why? Well, you'll have to ask her, but my guess is that she wants friends she can relate to, which tends to be the case with most people in a similar age group. Yes there are some exceptions, I for one have friends generations older than me, in fact, my best friend is older than my father, but I don't get up in arms about a thread like Chloe's, because I get it, I understand totally. 

 

Right, I hope you take something out of this. I currently have bacterial Bronchitis, so if it doesn't read well, then forgive me, I'm a little bit out of tune at the moment, the inhaler they gave me is making me a bit squiffy. 

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Peridot

I wish I had been born a different person.

 

To an extent I feel the same way. I really like myself it's just that I have weak points that loused things up a bit. So yeah, Peridot without the weak points FTW. ;)

 

P.S. FTW is an enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post.

Edited by Peridot

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Peridot

Not at all. Apparently, many people here are happy to exclude me from their social circle before even having met me. This is rather insulting. I've kept my mouth shut, but I've been pissed off about this for a while.

 

I can see how you can interpret things that way. As in negatively. But I really think Chloë didn't mean it as literally as you think. As if she'd have said "Well, you're 26 so that's not gonna happen. :unsure: ". It's really more an age group indicator as others have mentioned. It might as well have said "Young adults with a positive attitude". That's kind of how I read it. The positive attitude I feel was the "slash six year olds" addition which is also indicative of a certain kind of personality that she feels compatible with. Easy going extraverts? I dunno, something along those lines. She just looked for people she felt she could connect with and had things in common with. It's really not anything to get worked up over.

 

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Kuribo [old account]

If I was sue someone on this forum for every time a slanderous remark was aimed towards me (the part in bold) I would never have to work again. In fact, the interest alone would get my grandchildren through college. It's a good thing that not a lot bothers me. 

 

Personal attack? No. If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't beat around the bush about it. I'd state it outright, and not hold any qualms about it. Your reaction though, to what was intended to be a post in good will, suggests to me that you're simply an aggressive person. Are you in real life? I don't know, really, I don't, but you've just solidified my point with regards to your online persona - and you have to realise, people don't like aggression, it's not an attractive quality, for anybody concerned, no matter the circumstances. If you want friends, you don't conduct yourself aggressively. 

 

Your posts may be 100% accurate with regards to your current feelings, I'm not doubting that, but this anger that emanates from you... Who does that hurt? I'll tell you who, it hurts no one else but you and one day it's going to make you very unwell if you don't nip it in the bud. Yes, life sucks, life throws us challenges at the most inopportune times, but what are we going to do? Cry about it? Or step up, and take responsibility for ourselves? Because only you can do that. If you don't like something, then fight, but fight in a way that actually gets the job done, don't just roll around in the mire of how shit things are, because that will do sod all for your cause. It'll only exacerbate things if anything, and suck the energy out of those around you.

 

Life will very soon be in your hands, and you'll very soon find out that it means conducting yourself in a way that is professional. If you continue to vent your anger online, as you progress through life, it'll be a matter of time before your boss stumbles upon you slagging him off. That equals, goodbye job, goodbye holiday in France, goodbye any potential reference from him, see you later, thanks for coming. 

 

Back in 2010, I claimed JSA. I was tarred with the same brush as everyone else. I was spoken down to, humiliated, received threats through the door all the time to say what sanctions I could receive if I didn't 'play ball' and one of the workers even took the piss out of my handwriting. What did I do? Well, at first, I wanted to nuke the place, but as time went on, I realised this is just how the system works I alone can't change it. They think I'm a piece of shit, well, I don't agree with them, so why should I worry about what a fat bitch behind a computer screen thinks of me? I'll play ball if they want, it benefits me at the end of the day, and while they're using energy up making judgements on me, I'll be reserving my energy to improve myself. See what I mean? I bet you're using more energy hating these people, than you are focusing on yourself. Don't, it's a waste of time. Use your energy constructively. This isn't even a case of positive or negative; its about saving your energy for what really matters. 

 

Now, with Chloe's thread, well, It doesn't matter how politically correct you get with this, because it's as relevant as a hamster turning up for a cattle judging saying he should be considered for a medal. Chloe stated specifically that she wanted to meet people in her age group? Why? Well, you'll have to ask her, but my guess is that she wants friends she can relate to, which tends to be the case with most people in a similar age group. Yes there are some exceptions, I for one have friends generations older than me, in fact, my best friend is older than my father, but I don't get up in arms about a thread like Chloe's, because I get it, I understand totally. 

 

Right, I hope you take something out of this. I currently have bacterial Bronchitis, so if it doesn't read well, then forgive me, I'm a little bit out of tune at the moment, the inhaler they gave me is making me a bit squiffy.

I fail to see where a slanderous remark has been made about you. I clearly stated this was my interpretation of your words, giving you the full opportunity to clarify and remaining open to the possibility that I am wrong. You have elaborated on your meaning and I realise now that as I stated was very much a possibility, I misinterpreted you. Apologies, and thank you for clarifying.

Thanks for taking the time to post all of this, and I agree with almost everything there. I should try to vent in a more constructive way. The problem is that I cannot, because there is quite literally not one thing I can do about my situation. All that can happen is that I attempt to change for the better while nothing else does, and as for the "conservation of energy" - I don't think that's a choice. At least, I haven't found a way to effectively control that yet. I just delude myself that I'm okay after one good day, and use up more energy in the process of trying to "force" those emotions.

Regarding age: I understand the need to relate to people in a common situation, but I think people should always remain open to being friends with those who are older or younger than them. Being in a related situation isn't the only basis of a friendship. The best friend I've ever had was around 75 years older than me.

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Nesf

To an extent I feel the same way. I really like myself it's just that I have weak points that loused things up a bit. So yeah, Peridot without the weak points FTW. ;)

 

P.S. FTW is an enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post.

What does FTW mean?

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Peridot

It means For the win and it's internet slang. It means that one thing is the best.

 

Audi or Ferrari?

 

Ferrari for the win!

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Nesf

It means For the win and it's internet slang. It means that one thing is the best.

 

Audi or Ferrari?

 

Ferrari for the win!

Ah, ok, I get it now. It would be too optimistic to expect of myself not to have weak points if I had been born a different person, but I wouldn't need to have made such a mess of my life.

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AutismUnrestricted

Ok, this is how I really feel underneath it all. Everyday I have the feeling that I'm barely coping. People think I'm coping but I'm not. I'm useless and have done nothing with my life, and have no prospects for the future. I'm just hanging around, waiting to die; there's nothing left to hope for. I hate myself and my life, and I wish I had been born a different person. I wish I didn't have to be me. I hate myself for failing at my last job and at my attempt to become independent and start a new life. I'll never forgive myself for this. I have no one to talk to about my problems, I'm alone. Nobody wants to hear about my problems.

I'm sorry to hear that :( that must be hard for you

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