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spiderwoman0_2

I'm Sarah, Willow Hopes mother.

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Hi Sarah,

I have a 4 year old son, Jack, who has aspergers. I also have a 3 year old daughter who loves her brother dearly and wants to do everything he does. I am noticing a lot of signs of aspergers in her as well, however I am unsure if she is just copying her brother or if she is truly an Aspie. Did you see this with your two kids? I don't know how far apart yours are, but with my kids being only 13 months apart, I am really having a difficult time figuring out if she has it as well. For instance, Jack has always covered his ears when the toilet flushes because it's too loud for him. Carly now does the same thing. I don't know if she saw her brother do it and thinks it's normal or if it really bothers her as well. Thank you!

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spiderwoman0_2
Hi Sarah,

I have a 4 year old son, Jack, who has aspergers. I also have a 3 year old daughter who loves her brother dearly and wants to do everything he does. I am noticing a lot of signs of aspergers in her as well, however I am unsure if she is just copying her brother or if she is truly an Aspie. Did you see this with your two kids? I don't know how far apart yours are, but with my kids being only 13 months apart, I am really having a difficult time figuring out if she has it as well. For instance, Jack has always covered his ears when the toilet flushes because it's too loud for him. Carly now does the same thing. I don't know if she saw her brother do it and thinks it's normal or if it really bothers her as well. Thank you!

Hi,  my two children are just over 7yrs apart, my daughter being the oldest.  She wasn't diagnosed until 16 and she hid it very well.  My son was spotted at a very early age and I don't think he copied anything his sister did, he was totally different from her growing up, he was angry and distructive but he did grow out of that phase.  I wouldn't worry too much if your daughter is copying your son, if she is she may grow out of it and want to do things her way instead. :D

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Aspergirl

Hi Sarah,

 

Could I just ask what your experience with school was like? Particularly Primary school. Our daughter is currently 5 yrs old (year 1) and is struggling to make friends, has a lot of sensory difficulties and is quite behind academically, particularly with her reading. We have been told that she doesn't need to be on school Action, yet she is quite obviously in need of more support.

 

What should we do? I will add that a friend of mine has just taken her son out of the school due to bullying from both children and parents and the school did nothing about it.

 

Lottie x

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spiderwoman0_2
Hi Sarah,

 

Could I just ask what your experience with school was like? Particularly Primary school. Our daughter is currently 5 yrs old (year 1) and is struggling to make friends, has a lot of sensory difficulties and is quite behind academically, particularly with her reading. We have been told that she doesn't need to be on school Action, yet she is quite obviously in need of more support.

 

What should we do? I will add that a friend of mine has just taken her son out of the school due to bullying from both children and parents and the school did nothing about it.

 

Lottie x

Hi Lottie,  primary school for my daughter wasn't too bad, but none of us knew she had aspergers so I think she just tried to act like the other children.  She did suffer from bullying in the last couple of years of primary and she did try to make excuses for not going.  The bullying was sorted out though.  My son was diagnosed before he went to school and even had one to one at nursery which carried on throughout pre school, infants and juniors.  I told the school all of his problems and the special needs department were brilliant.  He did get bullied, but to be honest he could be quite violent towards them so the incidents got less frequent.  My daughters main problems were with secondary school and because we had no idea about her condition we had no support.  My son is now at secondary school and doesn't receive any one to one anymore but they are fully aware of his condition and we've only had a couple of problems which were sorted out quickly.  I think you need to inform all the teachers and explain everything and try to get the support put in place.  If you don't have a formal diagnosis from a doctor or specialist, then get one as soon as possible, I find that schools will work with you a lot better if it's all in writing.  Hope this helps.

 

Sarah

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Moominsmum

I find myself in tears this week as I see my relationship between myself and my wonderful boy (12years old)falling apart...... We just fall out all the time, I try to pick my battles carefully but find I am either ignored or shouted at if I try to ask him to do or not to do things. He says he hates me wishes he lived with his dad wants to run away wants to kill himself knows I hate him and I'm wasting his life......all very hurtful when I spend my time working, loving, caring,buying and taking him places.....I can't win and feel like I am a failure- thinking that he thinks I don't love him is so painful.......we are 12 months on from joining ads waiting list but have had no help other than within school....

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spiderwoman0_2

It sounds like he is lashing out and saying things he doesn't really mean.  Maybe he's having some problems that he hasn't told you about and his way of coping with it is to hurt you because deep down he knows that you will take it and not abandon him.  You will have to try and be patient and understanding and try to ask him if something is bothering him and tell him that whatever happens you'll be there for him.  He will also be starting to go through pubity and that might not be helping either.  Tell him that whatever the problem is he can tell you and then together you can work something out.

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Willow
It sounds like he is lashing out and saying things he doesn't really mean.  Maybe he's having some problems that he hasn't told you about and his way of coping with it is to hurt you because deep down he knows that you will take it and not abandon him.  You will have to try and be patient and understanding and try to ask him if something is bothering him and tell him that whatever happens you'll be there for him.  He will also be starting to go through pubity and that might not be helping either.  Tell him that whatever the problem is he can tell you and then together you can work something out.

I agree. It might also be that he's lashing out at you so that you will try and look into what this other issue might be, because he might not want to tell you directly.

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spiderwoman0_2
I agree. It might also be that he's lashing out at you so that you will try and look into what this other issue might be, because he might not want to tell you directly.

yes I totally agree with that.

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Moominsmum

Thank you......we've just had a bit of a melt down and a heart to heart.......he says he doesn't know why he says what he says, doesn't mean it and forgets it straight away.......he says he knows he is bad and horrible- but I have never said those things to him, ever! The flash to rage he does is quite frightening, it must be very scary for him to feel so out of control. Besides being patient are there any tips for keeping things calm x

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spiderwoman0_2

I think if you are calm at all times it will create a calm atmosphere, try not to freak out when he has a meltdown and keep things light hearted.  I try not to take life too seriously and I'm a bit of a wally at times and I think my kids appreciate it at times lol x

 

I hope things settle down for both of you, maybe you both need to chill out for a bit and watch a movie and eat popcorn :D x

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