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Fireandshadows

Panic Attacks

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Fireandshadows

So,I had a huge one this morning, for no particular reason I can think of. I was hyperventilating and crying and I didn't know when I was. Yes, I mean when. I didn't know when in my life I was, I felt like I was about 4 years younger, at a totally different stage in my life, but I was in my university accommodation, so I was really confused and freaking out even more. I had vivid dreams last night and couldn't figure out if they were real or just dreams. I felt completely unreal myself, as though I was about to wake up from a dream, which is a horrible feeling for me. Afterwards, I was shaking like a leaf for at least an hour afterwards, and i found walking almost physically impossible. It's like my brain short-circuits and movement becomes way more difficult and physically painful.

 

I guess I was just wondering if any of you have had similar experiences during panic attacks, or just what they're like for you in general.

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Willow

I get like this when I have a panic attack - ie, the shaking and my movements seeming to be painful/difficult. The not knowing when you are is something I've had a few times, but not years out, just days or hours. And only when I was severely depressed/anxious at the time. So, when I was being bullied and was at home refusing to go to school etc. I think I almost 'blacked out' on a couple of occasions whilst having a panic attack, for maybe half an hour, or sometimes fell asleep for a few hours - which left me very confused. The worst one, which only happened once, was several months into a nervous breakdown - I'd been at home for a few months and barely left my house, let alone my bedroom - and in the middle of a panic attack in the early hours of the morning, I didn't know who or where I was, just for a couple of seconds. That was really, really scary. I didn't recognise my Mum, just for those few seconds.

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Sofi

I experience panic attacks too, they are rare nowadays thankfully! I do understand what you mean about not knowing when in your life you are - nothing is rational during a panic attack. I have also had the feeling of not knowing where my body is and sort of watching myself like a movie rather than being myself. 

 

When I first had a panic attack, I didn't have a clue what was wrong but I knew SOMETHING was definitely not right but I couldn't identify it, I could just feel a feeling creeping up on me. I didn't even feel particularly anxious at the time but I hear this is often the case with panic attacks - they happen for no apparent reason. (In hindsight, I think I do know what might have caused it subconsciously) After that first panic attack, my school nurse and my mum thought it was an actual physical problem I was having with my heart so I had lots of tests in hospital, and sent home with 24 hour EEG monitors attached to me, which came back normal and only led to me now having a real phobia of anything medical on me! My doctor, in the end, did say it was just anxiety. 'Just anxiety'.. Okay then... 

 

A main symptom in panic attacks for me is - 'pins and needles' in my hands. Racing heart, dizziness, feeling weak, being sick in the end. I have had them in public places like on a bus, in the school taxi, at a train station - horrible.  

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Willow
A main symptom in panic attacks for me is - 'pins and needles' in my hands. Racing heart, dizziness, feeling weak, being sick in the end. I have had them in public places like on a bus, in the school taxi, at a train station - horrible.  

This reminded me of a panic attack I had in a shopping mall once. I was sick in a main shopping area - not a store, just like the really big walkway areas with benches. No one noticed at all. My Mum had to try and clean it up, calm me down and keep an eye on my brother (also on the spectrum and 7 years younger than me) who was growing impatient with being there.

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spiderwoman0_2
I get like this when I have a panic attack - ie, the shaking and my movements seeming to be painful/difficult. The not knowing when you are is something I've had a few times, but not years out, just days or hours. And only when I was severely depressed/anxious at the time. So, when I was being bullied and was at home refusing to go to school etc. I think I almost 'blacked out' on a couple of occasions whilst having a panic attack, for maybe half an hour, or sometimes fell asleep for a few hours - which left me very confused. The worst one, which only happened once, was several months into a nervous breakdown - I'd been at home for a few months and barely left my house, let alone my bedroom - and in the middle of a panic attack in the early hours of the morning, I didn't know who or where I was, just for a couple of seconds. That was really, really scary. I didn't recognise my Mum, just for those few seconds.

I remember that and a lot of sleepless nights and camping out in your bedroom.

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Willow
I remember that and a lot of sleepless nights and camping out in your bedroom.

You sleeping in my room only had to do with the fact that I got really afraid of my room when I though it was haunted :(

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spiderwoman0_2
This reminded me of a panic attack I had in a shopping mall once. I was sick in a main shopping area - not a store, just like the really big walkway areas with benches. No one noticed at all. My Mum had to try and clean it up, calm me down and keep an eye on my brother (also on the spectrum and 7 years younger than me) who was growing impatient with being there.

That wasn't a good day, we went straight for the train after that.

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spiderwoman0_2
You sleeping in my room only had to do with the fact that I got really afraid of my room when I though it was haunted :(

To be honest your room freaked the hell out of me and I was scared shitless :( but to be honest, I think Harrys old room was haunted too and I had a few weird things happen to me when I was in there.

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Sofi
This reminded me of a panic attack I had in a shopping mall once. I was sick in a main shopping area - not a store, just like the really big walkway areas with benches. No one noticed at all. My Mum had to try and clean it up, calm me down and keep an eye on my brother (also on the spectrum and 7 years younger than me) who was growing impatient with being there.

 

I have a brother who is 12 years younger than me, he's not autistic but I recognise traits in him but I doubt actually anything. I am probably just more aware. Anyway, that's not relevant to this. 

I understand what that is like :( I was sick onto the train tracks once after a panic attack then I had to sit on a busy train feeling so shaky. My mum was there though.

 

 

 

I remember that and a lot of sleepless nights and camping out in your bedroom.

 

My mum has camped out in my bedroom too, not for any haunted reasons though, that sounds scary :( I was probably the only terror in the house - haha 

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iggy

When I have a panic attack by vision seems to mirror (so looking back on my memories everything that should be left is right and vice versa). I don't have difficulty breathing but the same amount of air doesn't do the job it normally does. I also used to bolt away from wherever I was. Often results in a shutdown which I get within 24 hours. It's not too common anymore though, fortunately.

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Sofi
When I have a panic attack by vision seems to mirror (so looking back on my memories everything that should be left is right and vice versa). I don't have difficulty breathing but the same amount of air doesn't do the job it normally does. I also used to bolt away from wherever I was. Often results in a shutdown which I get within 24 hours. It's not too common anymore though, fortunately.

 

I have been known to bolt away as well, usually in the time when I can feel the panic feeling creeping up on me and it's like you don't know at what point you have to accept it's a panic attack, you don't know how strong it's going to get etc. I used to just take off running on my own, which is so unsafe for me when I am feeling like that. Then, I would also go to my bed for a long time, up to 2-3 days, similar to what you mean by a shutdown. The fear of having a panic attack is horrible. 

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specialstar

I also hyperventilate do u know the cause of the trigger. If I'm outside and it's caused by crowds/ claustrophobia I concentrate on my music if its a flashback I try and focus one something to keep me real and not dissociate

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Sofi
I also hyperventilate do u know the cause of the trigger. If I'm outside and it's caused by crowds/ claustrophobia I concentrate on my music if its a flashback I try and focus one something to keep me real and not dissociate

 

You are very right, trying to focus on something to keep you in the present where you are right now, if it a flashback type of thing.

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Heather

I think I've been fairly lucky in this sense because I haven't had a full blown panic attack really.. at least not for awhile and not that I'm aware of.  I just get really bad anxiety.  I think I'm more likely to get a meltdown than a panic attack.  I'm fine if people just left me be usually because then I'll tend to just keep all the anxiety in my head and avoid things that make it worse.  But then when I get pushed I'm just more likely to cry if I try to express myself.  I think I do get panic attack symptoms sometimes but they tend to be milder and I don't recognize them at the time.. like having trouble breathing or worrying that I am or getting really warm and having to take off a sweater or change into a cooler top or just get really warm and sweaty.  I realized that when I've gone through security at the airport, I always am really sweaty and shaky after as I'm trying to message people to let them know I made it through security safely.. I can hardly type on my phone.  But I think it's all just really bad anxiety symptoms.  I never really had a full blown panic attack I don't think.

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Fireandshadows
I get like this when I have a panic attack - ie, the shaking and my movements seeming to be painful/difficult. The not knowing when you are is something I've had a few times, but not years out, just days or hours. And only when I was severely depressed/anxious at the time. So, when I was being bullied and was at home refusing to go to school etc. I think I almost 'blacked out' on a couple of occasions whilst having a panic attack, for maybe half an hour, or sometimes fell asleep for a few hours - which left me very confused. The worst one, which only happened once, was several months into a nervous breakdown - I'd been at home for a few months and barely left my house, let alone my bedroom - and in the middle of a panic attack in the early hours of the morning, I didn't know who or where I was, just for a couple of seconds. That was really, really scary. I didn't recognise my Mum, just for those few seconds.

It's good to know it's not just me, I do tend to get a little bit paranoid that there's something wrong with me XD That sounds like it was really scary for you!

 

I also hyperventilate do u know the cause of the trigger. If I'm outside and it's caused by crowds/ claustrophobia I concentrate on my music if its a flashback I try and focus one something to keep me real and not dissociate

I'm not sure what the trigger was for this one, though it might have been all the stress of my uni work. Music is always a life-saver with panic. I try to focus on things during flashbacks, but I find it really difficult because I feel sensation in dreams too, so it doesn't help figure out if I'm real.

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Sofi
I think I've been fairly lucky in this sense because I haven't had a full blown panic attack really.. at least not for awhile and not that I'm aware of.  I just get really bad anxiety.  I think I'm more likely to get a meltdown than a panic attack.  I'm fine if people just left me be usually because then I'll tend to just keep all the anxiety in my head and avoid things that make it worse.  But then when I get pushed I'm just more likely to cry if I try to express myself.  I think I do get panic attack symptoms sometimes but they tend to be milder and I don't recognize them at the time.. like having trouble breathing or worrying that I am or getting really warm and having to take off a sweater or change into a cooler top or just get really warm and sweaty.  I realized that when I've gone through security at the airport, I always am really sweaty and shaky after as I'm trying to message people to let them know I made it through security safely.. I can hardly type on my phone.  But I think it's all just really bad anxiety symptoms.  I never really had a full blown panic attack I don't think.

 

I also get the thing you say about getting really warm. Whenever I start to get anxious or something suddenly worries me, I feel as if my whole body bursts into flames, REALLY hot! This happens regularly and not just related to panic attacks for me. I could just randomly burn up temporarily and my palms sweat. I feel I tend to have temperature problems - I am either really cold or get in strange sweats or in a cold sweat. 

All I can say is you are lucky you haven't quite experienced a full panic attack but I completely understand how awful anxiety symptoms are too. I find the physical symptoms that come from anxiety are debilitating - painful chest, sore stomach/digestive problems. 

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Heather
I also get the thing you say about getting really warm. Whenever I start to get anxious or something suddenly worries me, I feel as if my whole body bursts into flames, REALLY hot! This happens regularly and not just related to panic attacks for me. I could just randomly burn up temporarily and my palms sweat. I feel I tend to have temperature problems - I am either really cold or get in strange sweats or in a cold sweat. 

All I can say is you are lucky you haven't quite experienced a full panic attack but I completely understand how awful anxiety symptoms are too. I find the physical symptoms that come from anxiety are debilitating - painful chest, sore stomach/digestive problems. 

It's good to know it's not just me that gets really warm when I'm anxious or stressed out or overwhelmed or worried about something suddenly.  I do okay with temperatures a lot of the time though but not at those times!!  I know I'm very lucky too that I haven't really experienced a full panic attack.  I think it's kinda strange I haven't because I have so much trouble with anxiety but I won't complain! :)  It was weird because I remember this lady who used to work with me on my anxiety asked me about it and said she experienced them before, but I couldn't think of ever having experienced one... at least not significantly!  So I definitely won't complain!  But anxiety is horrible either way...

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Sofi
It's good to know it's not just me that gets really warm when I'm anxious or stressed out or overwhelmed or worried about something suddenly.  I do okay with temperatures a lot of the time though but not at those times!!  I know I'm very lucky too that I haven't really experienced a full panic attack.  I think it's kinda strange I haven't because I have so much trouble with anxiety but I won't complain! :)  It was weird because I remember this lady who used to work with me on my anxiety asked me about it and said she experienced them before, but I couldn't think of ever having experienced one... at least not significantly!  So I definitely won't complain!  But anxiety is horrible either way...

 

I hope you continue not to experience one. My first one I didn't know it was a panic attack until the school nurse said "I think you've had a major panic attack"....she was checking my blood pressure and still asked my mum to take me to the doctor to check I had no heart problems because of my very high accelerated heart rate and blood pressure. But, her gut feeling was a panic attack as she knew I had anxiety problems anyway. She often let me sit in her room reading if I didn't feel like being in class, sometimes I was just in the nurse's room talking with her :P 

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Toran
You sleeping in my room only had to do with the fact that I got really afraid of my room when I though it was haunted :(

In truth your rarely in any danger from ghosts only poltergeists cause real trouble. Obviously I take it you were only young did you ever see anything that frightened you or was it just a feeling?

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Willow
In truth your rarely in any danger from ghosts only poltergeists cause real trouble. Obviously I take it you were only young did you ever see anything that frightened you or was it just a feeling?

 

Well things moved and my light flashed and what not but it was mostly a feeling.

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spiderwoman0_2
Well things moved and my light flashed and what not but it was mostly a feeling.

I'm the one that's done all the seeing of weird stuff over the years lol

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Sofi
I'm the one that's done all the seeing of weird stuff over the years lol

 

Have you seen ghosts?

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Toran
Well things moved and my light flashed and what not but it was mostly a feeling.

Lights flicker for all sorts of reasons and objects im always forgetting where I put them lol.

The main thing is the feelings but you have to be able to control your own fear which is difficult for a child to do. Electical appliances are subject to the energys of spirit the soul however you see it. Do you get feelings at any particular time ? Any smells or maybe the same object going missing or things appearing when logically they shouldnt be there

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Toran
Have you seen ghosts?

Have you ever seen anthing sofi not necessarily a ghost could be lights in the room or mists?

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Toran
I'm the one that's done all the seeing of weird stuff over the years lol

That sounds interesting what have you seen over the years?

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