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Ben

Tears on The Keyboard

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Ben

Ok, My depression is very very bad at the moment. I'm not quite sure why, but I'm going to bed feeling very very sad, and waking up feeling worse. I've just moved to a new area, and I miss my old house, I miss my old friends, I miss my old gym and my old training partners, and generally feel like I haven't got a friend in the world. 

 

This isn't like me at all, I never get depression, I'm always so upbeat, and positive, but the last few weeks, I've just lost my smile. 

 

I want to talk to my nan, but she's dead. I want to hug my girlfriend, but we split. I don't drink, so I can't do that, I have no way of getting rid of this dark cloud. 

 

I'm going to stay at my fathers for a few days, he doesn't live too far from my old house, so I can meet with old friends, and train in my old gym. I'm hoping seeing old faces and being home will help me find my smile again.

 

My father doesn't have internet so I won't be posting for a while. Some of you may not care, but by posting this topic, I already feel like I'm doing something about my depression. 

 

Antidepressants are not an option, as I do not believe in pharmaceuticals, I believe this will pass, I just need to get away for a while.

 

 

Hopefully when I come back I'll be smiling again. I've got through worse, so I just have to be strong. 

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Willow

I hope you have a good time with your Dad and that you can begin to feel cheery again :)

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Khasper

I know what it is like moving away and not have anyone, I have moved across country and was not able to go and visit anyone and that lead to even more depression for me.

 

I was able to move back, I moved for work initially and being around my family helps.

 

I wish you the best and hope that you feel better.

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Andy

Ben I can sympathise as I also have the black dog at the moment, and a sadness I cannot seem to get out of no matter what I try and everything I try to try to distract me isn't working, not even the internet !  I know what caused it and it was me looking deeper into something than what was shown, but that is what I do and not by choice and so I always reap what comes which is often very emotional.

 

But it will pass as it always does as will your dog, it's just one of those things that comes with being a feeling, caring human, but unfortunately modern life has no respect for what it is to be human, we are all malingerers to be despised, which only just adds to the hurt.

 

But if it helps you Ben try writing when you are like this, just write, whatever is in your mind, pour it out on paper and allow your emotions to run free, for you will feel better after it as sometimes what ails us is stuff in ourselves we cannot identify to rationalise.

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Boobookittyfrag

Perhaps a change is as good as a holiday and doing this will do you the world of good - hope you feel better soon

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Willow
f**k you

You've been restricted from posting on this forum without my approval.

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Ben
f**k you

 

I may be depressed, but I'm still strong enough to laugh at you. Trolling on an internet forum? Hahaha You must wonder where your life went wrong surely. 

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Ben

Thankyou to all for your support. I'm sure after a few days, I'll be smiling again :) 

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Willow
Thankyou to all for your support. I'm sure after a few days, I'll be smiling again :)

I'm sure you will. That sarcasm you have can't stay hidden for too long I'm sure :)

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