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L Lawliet

Told Friends

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L Lawliet

I had already told two of my friends because I needed someone to talk to (rant to even) about my assessments and such. So my two best friends already knew and they have both been really lovely and supportive.

 

I sent a very generic, private Facebook message out to my other friends the other day because I think it's important that those close to you do know. I linked the page from the NAS website on Aspergers and said that they could give it a quick scan if they wanted so that they understood what I was all about.

 

I received some really lovely messages back. One of my friends sent me a really nice txt and then two other sent me messaged asking if there was anything they could do to make things easier for me, which I thought was amazing :) So that was all good.

 

One of my friends, I haven't really been speaking to her recently. Without writing an essay on the things she's done, she basically has this habit of making everything about her. I sent her the message because I didn't want to be petty and not tell her, as she is a part of my close group of friends, despite some differences we've had.

 

I haven't heard anything from her. Literally nothing. I can't believe it after getting the really nice messages from the others and then her not bothering. I want to believe that she's not doing it out of spite but because of the way she's been recently I wouldn't be surprised!

 

Would you say that this is the make or break of our friendship after months and months of her being really selfish? I'm not sure how to go from here now. I know that I will have a few things to say if she tries to get funny with me, but while the other stuff made me angry, this actually upset me :( I don't know what to do.

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spiderwoman0_2

I think I would just leave it, the ball is in her court and if she chooses not to have contact with you then it's her lose.  It sounds like you have plenty of other friends who are genuine and supportive so I would stick with them.  If you ever see that girl then just be civil to her and don't hold any grudges.

 

By the way, well done for telling everyone, I know it must have felt like a big risk not knowing how they would react. :)

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HalfFull

If there has been an awkwardness between the two of you lately maybe she doesn't know how to react at the moment. Whether she'll respond later and apologize for how shes been lately and explain herself I don't know. She may be feeling really guilty, but at the end of the day whatever her reasons for not replying you've done nothing wrong and I'm glad the others have reacted so positively.

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L Lawliet

I think I would just leave it, the ball is in her court and if she chooses not to have contact with you then it's her lose.  It sounds like you have plenty of other friends who are genuine and supportive so I would stick with them.  If you ever see that girl then just be civil to her and don't hold any grudges.

 

By the way, well done for telling everyone, I know it must have felt like a big risk not knowing how they would react. :)

 

I've been quite civil so far, it's just whether or not I can bite my tongue about the other stuff :P Thank you, I was really nervous actually. It is so hard to know how people are going to react, but then I thought well I'll certainly find out who my real friends are if anyone was horrible about it. But I'm glad I told them :)

 

If there has been an awkwardness between the two of you lately maybe she doesn't know how to react at the moment. Whether she'll respond later and apologize for how shes been lately and explain herself I don't know. She may be feeling really guilty, but at the end of the day whatever her reasons for not replying you've done nothing wrong and I'm glad the others have reacted so positively.

 

I did think that actually, I'm hoping that is the only reason. It would be nice if we could sort things out but it's one of those things that dragged out over a long time so I don't know how to judge the situation yet. I'll have to wait and see I suppose ^_^

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L Lawliet

This is the message I sent:

 

"Hello all!

 

Right, to keep things short and sweet, I’ve been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. I’ve been having assessments since September and they are now coming to an end. I’m letting you guys know just because there are some things I’ve always struggled with and being that you are my friends I think it’s for the best that I tell you.

 

I’ve linked this page. It explains things in quite a bit of detail so don’t worry about reading everything, but if you just give it a scan it gives you an idea of what I’m all about. The video explains things really basically if you don’t want to read the whole thing but obviously it makes it easier for me to explain if you've already had a look at it http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx

 

I don’t have everything as it’s a spectrum disorder, so traits present in different ways (especially in girls). I’m honestly happy to talk about it or answer any questions so please ask me.

 

Other than that, I hope you’re all good! :) See you soon. Lots of love x x x x x"

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Auletes

I just want to say that I find it very brave what you did!
 

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L Lawliet

I just want to say that I find it very brave what you did!

 

 

Thank you! :) It was scary! :P

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Peridot

One of my friends, I haven't really been speaking to her recently. Without writing an essay on the things she's done, she basically has this habit of making everything about her. I sent her the message because I didn't want to be petty and not tell her, as she is a part of my close group of friends, despite some differences we've had.

 

I haven't heard anything from her. Literally nothing. I can't believe it after getting the really nice messages from the others and then her not bothering. I want to believe that she's not doing it out of spite but because of the way she's been recently I wouldn't be surprised!

 

Would you say that this is the make or break of our friendship after months and months of her being really selfish? I'm not sure how to go from here now. I know that I will have a few things to say if she tries to get funny with me, but while the other stuff made me angry, this actually upset me :( I don't know what to do.

 

I'm not sure. There could be various reasons she hasn't replied. It's not necessarily a sign of a lack of respect and/or caring but from what you've described the friendship is in a bad shape, I'd say. So, I think if I were in your situation I'd probably just continue to keep her at a distance, thinking it's likely that contact between me and her would be "improbable" any time soon.

 

I've taken on this attitude of "come what may" if you will over time where I just try to accept things the way they are when it comes to the people "in" and "out" of "my life". I mean I don't try to hold on to anything that wants to slip away. I don't know to what extent I managed to convey my thoughts through words here but I tried!

 

Hope you feel better soon.

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L Lawliet

I'm not sure. There could be various reasons she hasn't replied. It's not necessarily a sign of a lack of respect and/or caring but from what you've described the friendship is in a bad shape, I'd say. So, I think if I were in your situation I'd probably just continue to keep her at a distance, thinking it's likely that contact between me and her would be "improbable" any time soon.

 

I've taken on this attitude of "come what may" if you will over time where I just try to accept things the way they are when it comes to the people "in" and "out" of "my life". I mean I don't try to hold on to anything that wants to slip away. I don't know to what extent I managed to convey my thoughts through words here but I tried!

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Yeah that's fine I understood :)

 

It's unfortunately one of those awkward friendships where she's friends with other friends, so I will likely see her at BBQ's and such. Especially as the summer's coming. So it's not really easy to let the friendship slip without a confrontation of some sort.

 

Hopefully we can just be polite to each other. The important thing is that I received some very lovely messages from the other friends which was really nice :)

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Saveyourscissors

I wish I had your guts!!  :autismawareness: 

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