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Smilies/Emoticons on Autism Forums

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vcq14

I've had the same reaction from NTs as well..I tend to overuse them in PMs, and sometimes mix them up when I am typing quickly. This recently led to a major misunderstanding when I meant to answer a comment with a smiley face :-)   and accidentally did the winking one instead  ;-)   leading this individual to believe I was being sarcastic and flippant when that was the farthest thing from my mind.

 

Also, perhaps this is my unscientific analysis, but it seems that females tend to use emoticons more than males.

 

That wacko one doesn't compute for me...it just looks confused!

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Emcee

I probably overuse smileys, I can't recall being told that I do, but I'm sure I do sometimes. However, when a person makes a comment about why I put a smiley there, no matter how far off during our conversation whether it's im or pm, I stop using them and it takes me a while to start using the smileys with this particular person, if I ever do use the smileys with them. Also, if the person doesn't use them, I try not to use them as much. But, I do agree that sometimes it helps distinguish a hostile or not message. I find them helpful.

You certainly didn't overuse them there.  ;) 

 

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Alice

I do not like to use emoticons at all. It feels like lying. My face would nt look like that if I smiled, and I would not make that many expressions over say two sentences. If they had emoticons that were not yellow, and had slight smiles, I might consider sending them. I dont like receiving a message from someone with their tongue in my face ..(:P) .. I dont even know how this could be appropriate or how to not imagine the specific person making this expression...


Then I just come across stoney in my messages (by not using emoticons) but I would rather that than sweetening them up, to an 'appropriate level' -who knows where that is because you can definitely overdo it, so that people feel better about my message is beyond the most ridiculous and irritating regular frustrations. 

Ive tried making the actual text of a message sound nicer but it ends up sounding vague, whining, or long-winded. Stoney it is. Anyone else?

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No Longer Here

Hi @Alice

Welcome to the forum.

If the emoticons I used reflected my actual facial impressions rather than to emphasise the feeling I am trying to convey they would all look like this :mellow:

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RiRi

Hi @Alice, I welcome you to the forum as well. Welcome to Asperclick. :) It's complicated to say, because sometimes I include it to empathize meaning even though my face looks like :mellow: writing the message, etc., but sometimes I include emoticons because that's how I feel. Some messages can be funny or nice to read so a :) would actually be how I look like, and sometimes I can be sad or stressed so a :( would be correct as well, etc. It depends on the situation really, but for the most part I do use them. :) 

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Alice

@Andy R Yeah, that would be honest.. and actually sharing something of your personality.. 

I sent someone an emoticon like this :wacko: (but it had a smile mouth with the cross-eyes) this morning at the end of a text because I had spent half an hour trying to figure out what to say/how to say it appropriately -- and that how I felt at the end of the txt once ready to send

I was selling a uni textbook and I think I scared the person off. But I dont see why, it seems fine, but I think it must have come accross strange, but I just dont know how to navigate that. I felt uncomfortable because the person said they knew me from class and wanted to meet in-class to exchange the textbook/money. I didnt recognise the name, and that would be too uncomfortable to meet in class under that situation, I didnt even acknowledge she said she knew me. I just said to meet prior to class. Its so ridiculous. Im 28 and intelligent, I feel like I should be able to figure this stuff out rationally by now - well I think I said what I needed to be said and tried to be more human by adding an emoticon. But. Seriously. Backfired.

 

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Alice

I feel like it just made me look crazy, but it was so unintentional..

I guess I just dont relate to the bright yellow face and exaggerated expressions. You put it in a nice way @Makelets I can see how that would be useful.. but even looking at the massage feels like an emotional rollercoaster.. Some people put that many in a message too.

I guess the 'moral of the story' im deciding to take away from it is that if it doesnt work for you: dont try to use it anyway (it will go terribly wrong!)

And thanks for the welcome :) (there needs to be an irony emoticon to add after that)

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Dr-David-Banner
On Tuesday, April 29, 2014 at 5:26 PM, Xenolith said:

I don't really like them. I used to use them quite a bit but not any more. Pure ASCII emotes (i.e. text emotes) are fine, but I really bitterly hate the yellow faced smiley icons that you get on all forums these days.

I think it helps to consider what emotions actually do. They most definitely dominate children and dictate their behaviour on the basis of impulse. It takes time till children develop an ability to rationalise and solve problems. As opposed to sulking or tantrums. Emotions don't really solve problems at all. They do connect groups of people together so they relate to each other. That then leads to the risk people will simply try and "be like everyone else" as that way they win popularity. I like to think I gradually got rid of emotion to a larger extent. However without any emotion at all that would be too extreme as it would be a weird world if nobody had feelings of any kind. Anyway I hate to see emoticons on any kind of educational forum because emotion and problem solving don't mix. Another pet hate of mine is the term "social media" because it promotes "socialising" as  the most important factor. 

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Dr-David-Banner

Funny but digging up this old thread shows quite a few people had the same view I still hold. As I learned over the months, autistics tend to be very low on emotion although, in my own view, they can also show extreme empathy. In other words extreme either way. Two weeks ago I had someone come up to me screaming, waving hands, ranting and yelling. Witnesses were stunned to see me show no emotion at all. They asked why I seemed so cold and calm. I just replied it was a child's tantrum and leads to nowhere. The whole thing made no impact at all.  

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Sanctuary

I very rarely use smileys / emoticons in Internet messages, nor do I use text-speak when sending messages on a mobile. I feel much more comfortable using formal language when writing any message - emoticons strike me as superficial and juvenile but that is just my personal feeling and clearly some people find them very useful. I don't think this preference is especially linked to ASD. Most of the people whose posts I am reading or responding to (off this forum as well) are using formal language and I think it's important to be in tune with the overall style. Perhaps if I were reading and responding more to messages with lots of emoticons I would also use them although I suspect not very much as they're not what I'm used to. To some degree there is a generational difference and younger adults as well as children are much more likely to use these things. Maybe eventually emoticons will become dominant but I imagine I will always prefer more formal communication. 

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Dr-David-Banner
13 hours ago, Sanctuary said:

I very rarely use smileys / emoticons in Internet messages, nor do I use text-speak when sending messages on a mobile. I feel much more comfortable using formal language when writing any message - emoticons strike me as superficial and juvenile but that is just my personal feeling and clearly some people find them very useful. I don't think this preference is especially linked to ASD. Most of the people whose posts I am reading or responding to (off this forum as well) are using formal language and I think it's important to be in tune with the overall style. Perhaps if I were reading and responding more to messages with lots of emoticons I would also use them although I suspect not very much as they're not what I'm used to. To some degree there is a generational difference and younger adults as well as children are much more likely to use these things. Maybe eventually emoticons will become dominant but I imagine I will always prefer more formal communication. 

Somehow emotions stand out to me as if in 3D. I started to notice visually how neurotypicals are governed by emotion. Just the other day I noticed a woman I know kneeling and smiling as she communicated with children. I was suddenly surprised to realise this kind of emotional interaction is alien to me. I don't communicate that way at all. Little wonder I failed as a teacher in the past. I had to ask the question what is the purpose of dedicating 85 per cent of mental energy each day on emotions and experience? This may sound a crazy observation but  neurotypicals place emotion so high above the more useful capabilities of the brain. Social media is all about opinion, feelings, likes, fashion, what so-and so thinks. Taking this to extremes, I wondered what life would be like if we all had no emotions. Just logic. I concluded with no emotions at all we would have no ability to sense good or bad intent from others. Just as if you feel a wasp sting, you then know to withdraw. I'm drifting but I can say my emotions are very cold compared to NTs but then again I tend to treat people much better on the basis of ethics. At the moment the whole subject of empathy and emotion has me intrigued. I noticed  neurotypicals get unsettled by those who show little emotional reaction. I notice a lot how they smile, use their eyes and body movements to communicate emotionally.

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