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legsbluetrain

[Sensitive] Anyone ever been a target for sexual harassment?

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legsbluetrain

Reason I ask is because due to me not talking about my private life openly with others cause them to ask me if I had done any thing or what I have done.Sometimes I get asked about my relationship status,especially by inmates,which is none of their business,then the inmates pry and pry and pry into my life.I had it bad in school and sometimes on the job.People need to realize just because people don't talk about certain aspects in their lives doesn't make okay to even ask about them.

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jenny.wren76

I am female, so it seems obvious to me that I have been sexually harassed. I don't think it happens nearly as often with males, but I know it does. Are you a guard? Just wondering why you have inmates bothering you.

Lots of people love having power over other people, and if they see that they are bothering you that makes them feel powerful, and like they are taking away your power. Lots of people think that rape is about sex, but it's not (except date rape can be)- it's about having power over another person, and violating them. I think the same can be applied to sexual harassment in lots of cases. If you can figure out how to be armored in a way that their comments aren't getting to you, then they will not have that power over you any more (the power of making you uncomfortable). I mean, they are being awful, crass, demeaning jerks and that IS bothersome, but if you can just accept that's just how they are, and it's not anything to do with you personally- they just treat people that way and focus on people who respond in a way that they like (like prey), then maybe you can let it roll off your back. Don't give them any ammo, and when they are acting that way, don't think of them as people- because they aren't good at being people when they behave that way. Think of them as the monsters they are, and just think, "Oh, that's what monsters do- they don't know any better or they wouldn't be inmates to begin with" and get on with what you're supposed to be doing. Or you could act like they are acting, and start with the "I had sex with your mom last night" jokes, when they ask if you've done xyz say, "Yeh, but your mom didn't like it" or "Yeh, when your mom asked me to". Doing those jokes could either get them to stop seeing you as a victim, or it could possible backfire so be careful with that. I'd try the mental armor first.

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Nesf

Someone once peeped at me in a changing room, which was very unpleasant.

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Sofi

Yes......

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Rocco

Yes. At one time I had a severely broken and mangled hand. I was a construction electrician but could not work. The only job I could land was a cashier at a video store. Then I learned its a porno store. Then I learned it had booths in the back. I was never allowed to go back there. I never even saw it. They had people who worked back there. Anyway, a week after starting I realized the majority of customers were gay. I was often harassed and propositioned for sex and various acts. Meh. One time this guy was bugging me and I didn't really understand. I have trouble sometimes understanding motives of others. I had to go out some videos back and he came up behind me and pressed himself onto me. I kinda freaked out, and tossed that creepy old fu<ker out the door.

Also in the Navy out at sea people would be quite harassing and teasing at times. Unfortunately only Agression/ violence stopped that. It quite ruined my experience and outlook.

Outside of those jobs job I never had any serious sexual harassment. Being a guy I feel sexual harassment is ugly and usually effects females.

It is always unacceptable.

I never discussed my personal life with inmates when I worked in the base jail. I think some people talk this was to establish a rapport or buil friendships. I have had people question my preferences and status before, but never really felt it wa a type of harassment.

Inmates however, no info for them at all.

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legsbluetrain

I am female, so it seems obvious to me that I have been sexually harassed. I don't think it happens nearly as often with males, but I know it does. Are you a guard? Just wondering why you have inmates bothering you.

Lots of people love having power over other people, and if they see that they are bothering you that makes them feel powerful, and like they are taking away your power. Lots of people think that rape is about sex, but it's not (except date rape can be)- it's about having power over another person, and violating them. I think the same can be applied to sexual harassment in lots of cases. If you can figure out how to be armored in a way that their comments aren't getting to you, then they will not have that power over you any more (the power of making you uncomfortable). I mean, they are being awful, crass, demeaning jerks and that IS bothersome, but if you can just accept that's just how they are, and it's not anything to do with you personally- they just treat people that way and focus on people who respond in a way that they like (like prey), then maybe you can let it roll off your back. Don't give them any ammo, and when they are acting that way, don't think of them as people- because they aren't good at being people when they behave that way. Think of them as the monsters they are, and just think, "Oh, that's what monsters do- they don't know any better or they wouldn't be inmates to begin with" and get on with what you're supposed to be doing. Or you could act like they are acting, and start with the "I had sex with your mom last night" jokes, when they ask if you've done xyz say, "Yeh, but your mom didn't like it" or "Yeh, when your mom asked me to". Doing those jokes could either get them to stop seeing you as a victim, or it could possible backfire so be careful with that. I'd try the mental armor first.

I have warned some inmates and a coworker about sexual harassment.I am a corrections officer at a prison.I have also had the problem  of sexual harassment in school.

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turkey_steve

I was in the navy too.  The best defense is often to be offensive.

 

Unfortunately, it turned into a bad habit, and I am often chastised for being a sexual harrasser.  It's not intentional, not to the depth I take it.

 

A couple weeks ago I was chastised for telling a girl (an upfront dyke,) that her butt looked good in those jeans.  I said I liked how the beer she'd been drinking had all gone to her ass.  Then I noticed her love handles and second chin had also gotten alot fatter.  When I saw her reaction, and understood that the comment had been taken as a jibe for being fat, I knew my attempt at seduction had failed.  It got me in trouble, and often does. 

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Miss Chief

Yeah I have been sexually harassed, I think most people have to one degree or another to be honest.

 

I don't think people asking questions is necessarily harassment though, if you are uncomfortable with talking about your private life I am sure you can say that it is private/personal or none of their business.



A couple weeks ago I was chastised for telling a girl (an upfront dyke,) that her butt looked good in those jeans.  I said I liked how the beer she'd been drinking had all gone to her ass.  Then I noticed her love handles and second chin had also gotten alot fatter.  When I saw her reaction, and understood that the comment had been taken as a jibe for being fat, I knew my attempt at seduction had failed.  It got me in trouble, and often does. 

 

I don't understand... Why would you try to seduce someone who is openly a lesbian? 

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Pharaoh_G

Though I wasn't fondled by men, I have been hit on before by men while walking on the street. When I got away from my mom as a teen, a guy asked me if I want to perform oral sex on him. I just walked off. While I was pursuing my MFA in Atlanta, a guy was trying to flirt with me and thought I was 16-17. Now that's some pedo type stuff! I was 23-24 at the time. Luckily, my classmate got me out of situation and walked with me back to class.

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Miss Chief

Though I wasn't fondled by men, I have been hit on before by men while walking on the street. When I got away from my mom as a teen, a guy asked me if I want to perform oral sex on him. I just walked off. While I was pursuing my MFA in Atlanta, a guy was trying to flirt with me and thought I was 16-17. Now that's some pedo type stuff! I was 23-24 at the time. Luckily, my classmate got me out of situation and walked with me back to class.

 

That reminded me of my driving instructor... After I passed my driving test and he was driving me home he asked for a blow job... I just laughed and said no, but it was funny how he must have been waiting until he knew it was the last time he would see me before he asked! His wife was crazy jealous too... I remember I wasn't allowed to text him or anything I had to phone to speak to him direct if I needed to rearrange a lesson (not me specifically but all his female students). Please note I was well over 17 when I finally got around to doing my driving test (think I was 23 or 24).

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