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myboysmom

Undiagnosed Aspie- A mom with questions

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Ala

It feels like he's going through a growth spurt or something and it's making all his sensory issues worse right now too and I feel worn down trying to manage...

You mentioned before that you were finding it hard to get someone to diagnose him as Aspergers as he is "high functioning". Being high functioning should not prevent someone from getting a diagnoses, as I believe High Functioning Autism implies someone is Aspergers rather than classically/severely autistic. However, in some cases, a diagnosis may be withheld if they were not experiencing any distinct difficulties due to their autism. Seeing as though, in your case, there are distinct problems causing you and I imagine your son significant stress, it might be good to keep pushing for either a diagnosis and/or professional help.

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jenny.wren76

Thank you Jenny.Wren76!  To answer your question, he does generally start to tear things up in his room when we've made him stop hitting and/or making the moaning sound. He's a very strong boy, so it's hard to sit by and see him strike himself... I mean, when he's just roughhousing with me (he loves to wrestle), he leaves bruises, so I can't imagine just letting him hit himself... it doesn't bother me so much with the moaning, but it makes my husband crazy because my husband is very sensitive to sound himself, especially if he's frustrated or tired...

 

I suppose we have been trying to get him to behave in a neurotypical way... mostly because it seems like it would make his life easier. Like, if he could express what was bothering him, we could help him... or if he could learn to ignore hearing people chewing, he'd be able to always eat lunch at school, instead of skipping lunch because hearing his classmates chewing makes him lose his appetite. And, of course, it is also hard on our family at times... my husband and I have to take turns eating in another room because it seems like he's more aware of us eating than anyone and if we eat near him, he's constantly telling us to "stop making that noise" (believe me, we've tried, but I'm not sure how either of us could eat any quieter without just making out food into liquids and drinking them.)

 

It feels like he's going through a growth spurt or something and it's making all his sensory issues worse right now too and I feel worn down trying to manage...

 

 

My husband cannot stand to hear people eating, or even hear our cats eating. My oldest has Emetophobia, and will bolt if anyone coughs, burps, or makes any sound that she associates with vomiting. We no longer eat at a table together, we end up eating at our desks or in front of the T.V. This helps with a lot of the sensory problems for each person. My husband also hates most dining room chairs. Any time one of the kids has a snack when my husband is home, if there is not already music playing or something playing on the T.V. he will turn something on to drown out the noise. He tries to have music playing at work too, because all the sounds of people walking, talking, typing, breathing, moving, etc. drive him crazy.

 

I would suggest that your husband try putting on headphones or something if your son is moaning. When there's just too much noise in the house my husband goes into the garage to fiddle with something- he also has an old computer and small TV out there so he can watch car shows or listen to MP3's while he's out there.

 

I'd also suggest that if you all eat at the table maybe bringing a music player into the dining room to put on some background noise would help your son. Or maybe he'd prefer to wear headphones at dinner.

 

It really sounds like your son is seeking deep pressure sensory input- maybe a body sock would help him with that, or weighted vest or lap pad or weighted blanket. You can make them yourself much cheaper if you have any sewing skills at all. Really, if you can sew two pieces of fabric together you should be able to make them. Or maybe a friend or family member could help you make them- there are lots of tutorials online for these items. Also, if you don't want to make them you can purchase them, they are just more expensive.

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myboysmom

What does a body sock do, exactly?  And do you think a pressure belt might help as well?

 

I was rambling around the forum and ran across the link to a Quiz that showed if you were aspie or not and this is the result I got answering the questions the way things are with my son (and skipping the sex questions because he's 10!!!  and I have NO IDEA!):

 

 

Your Aspie score: 112 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 110 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

 

Don't know how to share the little picture....

 

 

 

Reading those questions made me realize all three of my kids show some of those signs... my oldest seems to have more of the social anxiety stuff, my daughter is more likely to get caught up in her own little world of music and things, and all three have moments where I don't think they can relate to what others are feeling extremely well, although they all try.

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jenny.wren76

My husband was more half and half on that aspie quiz, his looked like a butterfly, my oldest looked like a heart, and mine is almost totally on the aspie side, as well as two of my other children. Didn't test the youngest. I say, do whatever you need to do to make life better for your family- whether or not that involves a diagnosis. You can still look into what helps Autistic people and people with Sensory Integration issues and try out things to help with that. Here's a link to a body sock http://www.onestopsensoryshop.com/Body_Sock_Sensory_Products.html

 

 

They give deep pressure input, it's just a stretchy sack that zips up over the body.

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brookeloveslotr

So... I have a question: If us aspies are so intelligent, and smart, why does society not really view us that way? I mean, it's like we're smart but then when it comes to socializing and language/processing issues, it becomes too much for our brain to handle so to the NT it looks as if we don't care (and maybe some of us don't. So it can be a never ending cycle, we're told or asked to do something, we try like heck to make it work, and when we end up failing it gives them the misperception that we're rude, or self centered. When really we're trying and it's just our brains on overload.

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imleih

go see your gp and get a referral to a psychiatrist. i was diagnosed at 13 1/2, and i'm 16 now. little people know about it, i have teacher aids, they pay post of their attention to me, but they don't sit near me and help the whole class. if he has it, a diagnosis would be very beneficial. 

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