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brookeloveslotr

child like qualities in autistic adults

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brookeloveslotr

I don't know about anyone else, but I've noticed that a lot of autistic adults like myself tend to look or act younger than our adult age. When NT adults focus on more graphic adult subject matters, like going to the bar or attending a meeting, I admit that I have a lot of child like qualities, like looking a lot younger than 20, plus still preferring children's books and movies. I asked my family and friends if I should be worried that I'm still in this, and they told me to not worry about it and just be proud of who I am. So, I'm deciding to take their advice, but idk what really makes aspie adults act more like kids than adults..

To take this further, I still haven't lost my babyness features (looking young) in my face, so many people assume that I'm younger than 20 years old.

Maybe it has to do with genes, or something...

thoughts?

Edited by brookeloveslotr

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Gerrymanders Pose

I too have quite a childlike way about me .Maybe we are thr meek that inherit the world or maybe its because we are oblivious to the severity of what is actually going on are us.

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Gerrymanders Pose

i'm 48 and i look like a 10 year old ....its held me back all my life.

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Miss Chief

I am 32 (33 on Tuesday) and I still frequently get asked for ID, it even gets a little annoying. Just over 2 years ago a police man was going to 'take me home to my parents' it was lucky my mum was nearby to vouch for the fact I was in my 30's! Oddly when I was under 18 I never got asked for ID in pubs or anything!

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Dingo

I don't think I look younger than I am.  I'm usually stubbly as I honestly forget to shave until it gets itchy.  But I look at other 30 year olds and they seem to have more wrinkles than me.  I don't really see any in my own face. 

 

But I still like things that take me away from the adult world.  I don't think I have ever felt like I've outgrown anything I liked as a kid.  I still like 80's cartoons, 90's cartoons, comic books. 

 

I get tired of "adult" things.  They are all so bleak and depressing and preoccupied with being realistic and plausible, which takes away any sense of fun.  It makes me depressed, or even more depressed than I already am.  All the big shows I've watched in the last ten years are things like Sopranos, The Shield and Breaking Bad.  All great shows, but they are also so very dark and bleak but highly praised because they are "gritty". 

 

I miss watching Ninja Turtles, where every week Shredder tries to "destroy the turtles" but instead gets his butt kicked and tries again next week.  It was a simple show that wasn't dark and wasn't held back by trying to be realistic.

 

I would like a nice, big story in a big fantasy world like Game of Thrones, but without such mass slaughter and horrible things happening to everyone.  Lord of the Rings was good, but they killed off two of my favourite characters by the end of the first book.  And I didn't like it as much when everyone got split up.

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brookeloveslotr

Miss Chief: I can see how that would be annoying. I guess the law is that if a person appears to look like a minor (under age), they have to ask just so they don't sell alcohol to a minor, and get in trouble with the law and lose their business. I had to have both of my hands stamped in a restaurant I went to earlier tonight, even though I'm 20. At first I got annoyed but then I realized the restaurant employee was just doing his job.

Edited by brookeloveslotr

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epiphanycakes

ohhh god  i act so childish sometimes it makes my family laugh so hard. I have the emotional  age of like 6-12 . I do things like giggle , run around waving my arms ( like gumball and Darwin form the amazing word of gumball) when i get exited i wave and flap my arms. I still watch my old cartoons/films. Im a very sensitive person and i often get upset when things get bad like i cried when someone cut my " stimming grass" it was in my garden soo

or lose a stone it felt like losing a pet .  I also laugh at stuff and jokes a child would and say cute childish things which my family find adorable ^_^ -giggles-

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Nesf

This doesn't happen so much now that I'm 40+, but up till farly recently I often had older women taking a mothering approach to me. I like some games, toys, shows and movies aimed at children, but not girly ones. Actually, I thought that most adults liked cartoons and never thought anything of it, until recently another adult about the same age as me who watches cartoons surprised me by asking me not to tell anyone about it! I also laugh a lot at toilet humour and silly childish jokes and pranks, which people find either very amusing or not age-appropiate. Some activities I enjoy just as much now as I did as a child are: cartoons, swings and playgrounds, tree climbing, children's literature, comics, some movies, games such as Snakes and Ladders or Ludo, Playdo (I can smell it as I write it!) or Plasticine, Lego.

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Eden

I don't know about anyone else, but I've noticed that a lot of autistic adults like myself tend to look or act younger than our adult age. When NT adults focus on more graphic adult subject matters, like going to the bar or attending a meeting, I admit that I have a lot of child like qualities, like looking a lot younger than 20, plus still preferring children's books and movies. I asked my family and friends if I should be worried that I'm still in this, and they told me to not worry about it and just be proud of who I am. So, I'm deciding to take their advice, but idk what really makes aspie adults act more like kids than adults..

To take this further, I still haven't lost my babyness features (looking young) in my face, so many people assume that I'm younger than 20 years old.

Maybe it has to do with genes, or something...

thoughts?

I experience the same thing. I am 50, however, I still feel as though I am closer to 25/30 y/o. When my age comes up, I am normally met with comments such as "You are NOT 50. I thought you were in your 30's". or  "You don't seem like you're 50. You act much younger than that". When I see my face in the mirror, I can absolutely see how I am aging, and I do think that I look close to my age, possibly 5 or so years, younger, at best,  but mentally and in terms of physical strength and abilities, I do feel quite a bit younger than my age. 

Edited by Eden

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King_oni

Compared to people my age (and perhaps even more so, compared to non-autistic adults my age) I'm probably really childish and irresponsible when it comes to certain things. Though on the other hand, as a child I also had an interest in things that weren't age appropriate and were for a way older demographic (graphic violence, horror movies, stuff like that... things I was into way before I even was a teen). So I guess the notion of "age appopriate" is a little bit lost on me. Though it's funny in that people often comment how certain things are childish and immature, but rarely will someone comment on "you're too young for that"... so to me there's a big focus on being too old for things but rarely a notion of being "too young".

 

But then again, who decides what and why something is age appropriate.

 

I guess at times I tend to have an imagination like you'd see in a Tim Burton movie and while the general tone is pretty dark, the designs and such do have a childlike quality to it I think. So there's that.

 

I still watch my cartoons (though I can't really relate to current stuff, I prefer my 80's and 90's cartoons more), I visit toystores more than any other store and that surely isn't to buy videogames (every once in a while I just get excited and end up buying transformers figures or something along those lines), I still play and buy pokemon cards (and that actually is something I've gotten into way in my "adult" life, rather than it being a remnant of my teens). And one of the main things I spend time on is painting and modelling (modelling kits & tabletop wargaming). And while it's not a hobby for children specifically (especially considering the prices) it's one of those hobbies many adults will frown upon since it's not nearly as "constructive" as gardening or working on your car (since those are things I've heard co-workers once talk about when it came to spending spare time)

 

That all said, I guess I have some adult qualities in me. I mean, I worry over money like any other adult, lol. At times I think, I'm still a teen with a few adult interests and some practical things going on here and there (I'm at a legal drinking age and I do enjoy my liquor at times, just to name an example). 

 

I've been looking back a bit at my life more recently especially considering depression and such and how it was in the past 5 years. I think Raziel touches upon something that sounds really familiar. Adult things just don't do it for me. They look bleak and there's no fun in them for me. 5 years ago when I lead a life without a lot of worries and just did "something" for the heck of it, rather than thinking ahead because that's... not necessarily responsible, but not thinking ahead will just create a tougher predicament (and I don't want to dig my own grave so to say). It was a time where I dropped out of college and didn't think "what will I do in 5 years" whereas now it seems my mind is under constant stress thinking "what will I do next week" (and the notion of "what will I do in 5 years, just seems even tougher and more depressing). Back when I dropped out I didn't worry about having to save money to move out and live on my own, but that's actually a thing I need to think about at this time. Needless to say that back then, in college I spent my money differently than I do now.. now there's a thing like "saving money" something which I never really did in the past (unless it was for something really expensive). I just went with an attitude that I can spend my money once, so better spend it and have a good time while you do so (yes, I sometimes ended up broke before the end of the month, but no I didn't care, since that's how it was).

 

A few years ago when I frequented a (now closed; went bust and all that) gamingstore in my area I was quite a bit more social than I am now. The thing however was, the main demographic was 16 to 20 year olds... and I was about 10 years older than most of them. Plenty of them were dropouts themselves and in general more troubled. But I had a lot of fun hanging out with them. It seems that such groups are the type of people I could mix with best (even if the main reason I attended said establishment wasn't for socialzing; but for actually playing cardgames). Seeing some of them now, where they're attending college or university trying to be more responsible, some are probably on their way of getting married (I mean, it was 5 years ago already)... they're not the type of people I'm interested in hanging out with. It seems that my age doesn't scale well with what society expects in general.

 

Reminds me of "reunion parties" of a bar I went to as a teen. Said bar/club/pub/take your pick got closed eventually but they still have a reunion pretty much yearly, just renting a new location. I went there once a few years back. The people who partied hardest, the ones that got in trouble all the time, the ones that always said "I will not marry nor have kids", the ones that ended up being totally drunk in the gutter every saturday evening... those are the ones that show up married with a wallet full of baby pictures. I think that, all things considering, I'm partying harder than I did in my teens, I don't intend to get married nor have kids and keeping true to myself, free of what society expects people to do.

 

So...

 

And then there's appearance. From a clothing perspective I tend to dress really casual (hoodies, sneakers) so that might turn down the notion of age a bit. I mean, I've seen plenty of people my age (former classmates and such) looking all formal, even when they do groceries. To them I probbaly look like either a bum, a teen, or both, lol.

 

I think right now, my facial hair makes me look a bit older. Full beards tend to do that. But aside from all that I don't really have a lot wrinkles like some people my age do and I think that considering I'm in my early 30's my age preserved itself well. What might set people off when it comes to age quite often is that, especially in the past, I always experimented with haircuts, haircolors, stylizing my facial hair in shapes and such... that might make it a bit more playful in appearance and also less formal as if you're not really in that phase of your life where you need to be responsible. Funny how that dynamic works, heh.

 

So there.. wall of text, lol

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