Jump to content
InsomniaDreams

Do we really fit into the internet?

Recommended Posts

InsomniaDreams

It's a nice idea but is it true for you? What is the internet for you? Is it enough?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kuribo [old account]

It's a nice idea but is it true for you?

Compared with the ongoing series of social failures I experience in real life, I've found that I do fit into many parts of the Internet. I occasionally post on certain gaming and tech forums, though I've found that there are still some indirect aspects of communication on the Internet that are somewhat confusing to me, and ridiculous rules that defy all logic. Because of this, I spend most of my time on Asperclick, Aspie Village and Aspies Central, where I find people to be far more direct and honest. I have had problems within the Autism community due to people hell-bent on forcing their negative view of Autism down my throat, and more so because of one depraved psychopath who pretty much made it his life's mission to harass and discredit me, but the support I've received (particularly from the Asperclick community) has outweighed these negative experiences. Overall, I do fit into this sector of the Internet and I'm very thankful for its existence.

What is the internet for you?

To me, the Internet is the only way I can meet new people, seek support and give it to others, learn about different beliefs and ideologies, and form any meaningful relationships outside of my immediate family. At the moment, it's probably the most prominent part of my life. That became the case in 2011, and the Internet worked at least as a distraction from the way I felt after the loss of my grandfather.

Is it enough?

In spite of how much I've grown to depend upon it ... no, it's not enough in terms of emotional fulfilment. While communicating via text has helped me to learn about myself and feel less lonely, it still can't compensate for the complete lack of meaningful face-to-face interaction in my life. Having said that, it was enough to get me through an extremely difficult period in my life. Every day in high school felt like torture to me, but knowing that I would be able to talk to my best friend on this site is really what kept me going.

Edited by Kuribo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dingo

This is the only place I post anything.  Any other place I can find is usually pretty big and it seems to be that big sites attract a lot of people that I don't want to talk or listen to.  I could probably do with being a bit closer with some people, but I still feel like I'm pretty new and I'm still somewhat hesitant to talk directly to people.  I think I usually just answer something with my own experiences. 

 

But I do like that this place is always here and there aren't so many people posting that you can miss a couple of days and not fall far behind what is going on.  I find this more desirable that dealing with real people who want to go out or gather together almost everyday and it is a problem if you pass on too many days with them.  Either you feel you don't know what is going on or they feel offended or feel as though you don't want to be bothered with them at all anymore.  Plus no one looks at me funny if my body language or facial expression isn't what they expect it to be.  And when they talk you are expected to respond, even if you have nothing to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
King_oni

The more I'm online the more I feel that I don't fit in online either. It seems there's no "right fit"... some places and people are cause way too much drama and on other places people just are outright rude for no reason. As much as I want to hear about peoples opinions and debate things, too many people have a voice who perhaps would be perceived as the village idiot if they said the same stuff on marketsquare. 

What internet does for me is helping me find places where I can discuss interests and such without having to travel long distances to find enthusiasts for said activities and interests. Before the internet I actually went out more, but it's not just that I'm not going out less because of the internet, there seem to be less places to physically be, because everyone can do it online.

 

For me the internet tends to more of a resource; A resource for information, a resource for entertainment... and to some extent it's the means to communicate with some people.

 

But is it enough? Myeaaaaaaaa.. I don't know... maybe. I guess I could always want more out of it. Perhaps I want things out of it that are nigh impossible to get out of it. Sometimes I wish certain forums where more active. I mean, if there's a forum and people haven't posted anything relevant for half a day, you can wonder... especially if it's one of those places you frequent.

 

Sometimes I have this idea that I'm not exploring the internet to the max. I feel I'm still swimming in a small pond. Though on the other hand; I already find it tiresome enough to visit this forum, another aspie forum and some hobby forums. The fact that I see the same people all over the place (well, mostly aspies here on other aspie forums, or fellow hobby enthusiasts on those forums)... it feels like a small world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
aspiesw

In a way yes, I do believe we 'fit' on the internet, the people I've met that have had the most influence in my life (in the past 6 years) have all been online, I may have had later face to face communication with them, but it's always started online.

But if I'm being honest. Nothing beats face to face communication, even though I find it ridiculously difficult to communicate face to face with people, I find it more fulfilling, because you have the physical person with you, there's only so much you can do with a person online, and communication can become misconstrued online.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jcarenza10

It's a nice idea but is it true for you? What is the internet for you? Is it enough?

I wouldn't consider the internet to be a replacement for live social interaction, but it is better than the alternative of nothing at all (assuming you are surrounded by good people and not jerks). The good thing about this forum is that it is filled with good people and they are incredibly supportive of each other. Yes, you do have to return the favor every once in a while, but when you feel like you belong you actually want to give back (and not for selfish reasons either). When you stop to think about it that's pretty special. Does it solve everything? No. But it is very good at solving 80% of it.

 

I would say that while we might not fit into the internet, we do fit in with each other.   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the strangest man

This is a good question, an and one that must be answered bye ached of us inndividually.

Two things though, I believe, are true of the internet.

First, it's addictive and extremely easy to immerse oneself in it, to create your own character. As the say no one knows your a dog on the internet. In other words for those who find obsession to be therapeutic it's ideal.

Second, many of us would be undiagnosed if it were not for the internet. Baron Cohen's AS test went viral around the world via the internet, and I'd reckon it's the most important self diagnostic test available. Likewise, when we've had a diagnosis the internet is vital in connecting us with likeminded people, who can affirm the validity of our lives ie that we've not moved from sanity to insanity when we're told we have a rewired brain that we can do little about and we're going to have to suffer for the rests our lives. [i am exaggerating AA little BTW]. And for our brothers and sisters who are non-verbal the internet gives them a voice, which for many is louder than those of who are gifted with the ability of speech.

So do we fit? Well we certainly are better off for the internet and even better off for the efforts of dear Willow & Chris on Asperclick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

On the internet I can find people similar to me or with similar interests which I could never find in real life, the internet literally widens my horizons and allows me access to a vast inexhaustible source of information. I can bypass the media and popular culture and engage in that what interests me. It gives me alternative choices.

 

(Note: I'm speaking generally about internet forums, not specifically this one). Interaction on internet forums are different to offline interaction in that it's not so direct and spur of the moment. But there are quite a few parallels. The bigger, busier forums are too much of a crowd and my post get swallowed up in the continous flow of other posts. I get ignored and have no presence or voice. Just as in offline life, cliques can form which band together and dominate the interaction, bully or push less popular members out. Some personalities are louder than others, and some are no more thinly disguised trollers.  Not nice - bad karma. There is a also a lot of behind the scenes politics, gossip, etc going on via the PM system that I'm not party to and don't pick up on but everyone else seems to know, so I still feel like I'm the outsider, not fully accepted or integrated even though people are polite to me. Not that I necessarily want to know all the behind the scenes gossip... forums are like icebergs - what you see is only the tip and the bulk of it is hidden out of site (pun intended :) ).

 

In many ways its easier to interact on the internet, but I still find myself facing the same set of problems as in offline life, and certain rules still appy. Because I'm way too serious and not a constant fun smiley barrel of laughs, I don't attract people and people aren't interested in getting to know me better, so my interaction stays mainly superficial. I still find can't break this  superficiality barrier and really connect with people, get to know them and make friends. I often feel I need a bit more than superficial aquaintances, that I need to connect on a deeper emotional level, something I seem incapable of doing, either online or offline. This is missing in my life. So in this respect, no, it's not enough.

 

However, the interaction I have, sharing of knowledge and giving advice do give me a sense of purpose I would never otherwise have, and help prevent me from sliding into depression again, so yes, I'm very grateful for the internet and online communities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thegingerone

I think the internet is a fantastic (but scary) place and everyone fits in as long as they find somewhere online.  For example, we've found Asperclick and this is one was of us communicating even if we don't actually know the majority of the people in person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the strangest man

However, the interaction I have, sharing of knowledge and giving advice do give me a sense of purpose I would never otherwise have, and help prevent me from sliding into depression again, so yes, I'm very grateful for the internet and online communities.

Spot on Nesf, I love helping out and on the net no-one can avoid me helping them :-) Now if Ben and Alex, the naughty boys, would just listen to a little fatherly advice things might well be .......

I think I've said enough now, I'll get my coat :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.