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drumkid999

Moving out-will the pros outweigh the cons?

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drumkid999

So, to cut a very long story short:

I'm off to music college in September, but it's too far away from home to live there. So, I'll be living 'on my edge' a lot more often. I had felt I was ready for it, but recently it has almost if not has come to meltdown over overthinking decisions and all those annoying Aspie things, so I'm now very scared about the prospect of moving out at this moment..

So I'd like to ask a question, if I can: of those who live away from home, how did you find the process, how did you cope and what if any coping strategies do you still have or use? At the moment it, like many other thoughts in my head from time to time, it's become this massive obstacle that I can see myself crashing and burning into when the time comes.

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RiRi

When I went off to college I was really excited and everything was awesome. There was this facebook group specifically for upcoming freshmen. I added the class and there I observed people posting comments and questions on the page. There was even some people on there that were close to where I lived that were going to that school. I added people who were active in the page and seemed nice. I got to know them better and then I exchanged numbers with a couple of people. It was all so great, I went to orientation and mostly everyone there was so nice. :) You are freshman and the majority will be nice people. 

 

Then the move in day arrived and I started feeling scared. I moved in everything there and somehow I felt really scared and I felt like I wanted to cry. I have to note that all of this happened before I knew about ASD. I was debating whether to stay there or come back home. After taking so long to make a decision, I decided to go back home the same day I moved in, I couldn't handle it. On my way back, I got some texts from a friend I had befriended on facebook to meet up. I don't live that close to my school, so I had to wait to come back. I became really good friends with one of the persons I befriended on facebook. One of my best friends now.

 

I guess my advice would be join a your upcoming freshman's group or if there isn't none, you can make it and put it out there for other people to join. If there's a classmate you currently have that is going there then you can become friends with this person and go around learning stuff together. It always helps to have some support. You will get the hang of it after you've spent a while there. I think I read somewhere on the forum that there is this other person (sorry I don't remember who it was) maybe this person can be so nice to show you around campus or hang out with you at least for the first couple of days and then make friends with other people? :)

Edited by Anna

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The Id

One thing that I found useful to reduce panic attacks associated with going somewhere new is to go to the new place as if I was at the correct time, but do so much earlier so that the panic feelings are spread between the two visits. When I go back the second time part of my subconscious recognises familar things from the first trip and isn't so triggered by the newness of it all.

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drumkid999

If there's a classmate you currently have that is going there then you can become friends with this person and go around learning stuff together. You will get the hang of it after you've spent a while there. ... there is this other person (sorry I don't remember who it was) maybe this person can be so nice to show you around campus or hang out with you at least for the first couple of days and then make friends with other people? :)

I know a couple people there already but not so well, but I know several people going up this next year a lot better :) I've been there a few times already so knowing my way round isn't something I'm particularly nervous about, it'll just be the whole experience crashing down on me at once, I think :)

Yeah - Sherbert goes to where I'm going, but there are two divisions of membership (one is full-time students, the other is like a Saturday school thing)

One thing that I found useful to reduce panic attacks associated with going somewhere new is to go to the new place as if I was at the correct time, but do so much earlier so that the panic feelings are spread between the two visits. When I go back the second time part of my subconscious recognises familiar things from the first trip and isn't so triggered by the newness of it all.

Interesting idea - I might try this, especially as it's a much bigger place to live than my current town... (Hopefully) can't be any worse than the first week or two though!

Edited by drumkid999

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RiRi

One thing that I found useful to reduce panic attacks associated with going somewhere new is to go to the new place as if I was at the correct time, but do so much earlier so that the panic feelings are spread between the two visits. When I go back the second time part of my subconscious recognises familar things from the first trip and isn't so triggered by the newness of it all.

I really like what The Id said right here. Sounds very useful. 

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drumkid999

Unfortunately, possibly with thinking about this and how easily I'm becoming socially tired since I found that way of wording it I've found relatively comfortable things a struggle - I thought I'd gotten used to going to the shops, but I'm just back from there now and I'm exhausted... My mum wanted to get things too so I couldn't "show myself" that much, but I suddenly felt very clumsy and a bit, uh... whatever a word is that describes the feeling "I really don't want to be here right now"... :(

 

Sorry for the random other topic, but it's also something I'll have to get used to at college, I guess!

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Nesf

One thing that I found useful to reduce panic attacks associated with going somewhere new is to go to the new place as if I was at the correct time, but do so much earlier so that the panic feelings are spread between the two visits. When I go back the second time part of my subconscious recognises familar things from the first trip and isn't so triggered by the newness of it all.

Yes - the university I went to had an open day so I went there before I started the semester and looked around. It was a big open campus on the edge of town with plenty of green and open countryside around, and seemed like a friendly place. I stayed in student residences, and many things were taken care of or provided for me, which helped the transition into student life. It was a lot less daunting since I had visited previously, I knew where things were and what to expect. There was alos s good support system. I would visit the place to familiarize yourself with it, and if it's too far to do so, you could view it with Google Streetview. See what support services are available at the college. Checking out the social media is also a great idea, especially if yu can get to know a fellow student beforehand, who you can meet when you arrive and get settled in. Even just one familiar person will make it less daunting.

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RiRi

Yes - the university I went to had an open day so I went there before I started the semester and looked around. It was a big open campus on the edge of town with plenty of green and open countryside around, and seemed like a friendly place. I stayed in student residences, and many things were taken care of or provided for me, which helped the transition into student life. It was a lot less daunting since I had visited previously, I knew where things were and what to expect. There was alos s good support system. I would visit the place to familiarize yourself with it, and if it's too far to do so, you could view it with Google Streetview. See what support services are available at the college. Checking out the social media is also a great idea, especially if yu can get to know a fellow student beforehand, who you can meet when you arrive and get settled in. Even just one familiar person will make it less daunting.

I was beginning to think my post wasn't useful. I shouldn't have posted. Thank you Nesf for liking my post. :) 

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QuirkyDoodle

I really wanted to go away to film school but my parents said I would flip out and they wouldn't let me go.

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Nesf

I was beginning to think my post wasn't useful. I shouldn't have posted. Thank you Nesf for liking my post. :)

Your post was very useful and you gave some good advice :)

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