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drumkid999

Telling friends that you like someone/are in a relationship

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drumkid999

For me it's more stressful than admitting your feelings to the partner-I've just about avoided meltdown as a friend of mine was pestering me about "who did I like", as I was willing to tell some friends up to that I liked someone, but not whom...

Since this friend has gotten it out of me, I'm slowly calming down, but I ask: at what rate have people in relationships told their friends so as to minimise the potential panic that might have been felt in the lead up, and how did you manage to lead the pace of telling, if that was an issue? It was for me-I was already panicking as the question threw me off guard.. :P

Sorry for the long and probably confusing question! :)

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RiRi

If you're not comfortable telling your friends who you like, you don't have to. Especially if this in turn brings you stress. I used to tell my friends who I liked when I was in middle school and under. After that, I stopped because I realized that somehow word always got to the guy that I liked (which was not something that I wanted in the first place). If if helps to tell your friend who you like, so that, maybe, perhaps, you will minimize a panic attack when you're around the person that you like, then, I strongly suggest you do it. Otherwise, you don't have to tell your friends. :)

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drumkid999

The person I like was the first person I told (it's all good ^_^), but I mean I'm more nervous telling other friends about the feeling :)

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Whoknows

It ain't much of a problem. You can tell a person that you like him/her, even if he/she is on a relationship. Just tell it. I told that to a high school classmate, 'cause for some reason I still dream about us together waking beside each other.

 

Anyway, I'm happy for not being the one who has to withstand her rage or her scolding. She might be beautiful and nice, but her worst part is exactly why I wouldn't love her at all. And it seems she's good at hiding it from other people.

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drumkid999

I don't think I've worded my question correctly, sorry...

I mean that I've told the person I like that I like them, but I find it more tricky telling other friends that I like someone... I don't know why :P

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Lukeage

Haha oh rather than individually telling people we agreed a time and made it "facebook official" and decided that and a photo was a good 'blanket' way for 99.9999% of people we know to find out. :)

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Heather

Yeah I remember when I first started talking to my boyfriend and then dating him, it was difficult to tell people.  Since we met online, first of all, it was just getting up the courage to tell my friends that I met someone online (so also admitting I talked to people online).. and it made things a bit more stressful since I met my boyfriend on an Aspergers related site and hadn't talked much about AS, if at all, to them at that point.. I did slowly end up telling them.  But the big reveal about us actually being in a relationship was probably when we made it Facebook official.  And since we made it official not long before I booked my flight to meet him for the first time, one of my friends got nervous for me because she thought I hadn't talked to him for that long but she relaxed when she found out I had been talking to him for about a year at that point.  

 

Anyway it was also scarier for me because I was *surprisingly* the first person in my friend group really to start officially dating someone.  At least between the 3 girls and I who hung out semi regularly since high school.  So I didn't really know how to say it.  But it was all good.  I didn't have to worry really.  

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Nesf

You're not obliged to tell your friends personal information if you don't want to. I would just say "that's private" and if they really are your friends, they will respect your privacy and not push it further. I think I'd tell the person I fancied first and make it official with them before talking about it to my friends. At least that's what I did.

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