Jump to content
iggy

Empty inside?

Recommended Posts

Toran
It is also Compulsory Bike Training

 

and there is another commonly known but not for here.

Come on Andy be a good boy :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
iggy
Yes - I understand what you mean. I am definitely like that as well, mostly. My mum tells me I am insensitive to her feelings and situations. I find it hard to be sad if someone else is sad, I won't even really understand why they are sad. Unless I can really relate to the reason and I know the person very well, that is why I find I get along better with other people on the spectrum because I feel I can relate to their issues a lot. 

I have learnt a lot about what to say in response to peoples' feelings but often, I don't really feel anything, it is just that I have learnt certain appropriate phrases such as "I'm sorry to hear that".

Although, I do feel emotions myself in response to things, like anger and happiness and sadness. But, I guess they are in response to mostly selfish things, such as how my game is going or something. If someone I know is ill or dies, I would struggle to be really sad about that... Depends who it is, if it was my mum it would affect me more.

I also think it is definitely part of AS/Autism and probably quite common in that. I guess people with depression might be similar. I know when I feel depressed, I feel a lot less of any emotion.

I agree with the things you mentioned here. I suppose the more you know about how people are affected by different kinds of things means when you find out something very good or bad has happened to them then it is easier to empathise with them.

This sounds horrible, but I think I am as sad when a pet dies as when a human I know dies, honestly. They are the same kind of relationship for me, unlike more "normal" type people. (Oh how the word normal annoys me).

 

CBT is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy 
Thanks, I've never heard that one. Or I might have, I'm not very good with abbreviations really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Toran
I agree with the things you mentioned here. I suppose the more you know about how people are affected by different kinds of things means when you find out something very good or bad has happened to them then it is easier to empathise with them.

This sounds horrible, but I think I am as sad when a pet dies as when a human I know dies, honestly. They are the same kind of relationship for me, unlike more "normal" type people. (Oh how the word normal annoys me).

 

Thanks, I've never heard that one. Or I might have, I'm not very good with abbreviations really.

Iggy thats not as bad as you would think it is in fact it shows the understanding of life you see things as they are no labels or one deserves. Better than another an animal feels pain and distress as any human it's not horrible it's compassion so if a normal person ha ha doesn't care if an animal is in pain and dies isn't that a horrible way to be I wouldn't want to be like that if thats the case I'm so glad I'm like I am protect me from being normal ha ha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Toran

I'm no good with abbreviations either if I've got to know one or a phrase then I remember some of the time because I've learnt t not understand it. If anything new comes along then I struggle and have made myself look silly now I make excuses not to put myself in those situations.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf
Yes, I understand this very well. Sometimes I understand better than others around if someone is feeling sad or left out and others are joking it off, but I can't express that I know how they are feeling and can't help. Sorry, what is CBT? I don't believe I am a depressed person, it's certainally not something I've ever noticed. I was curious if anyone else ever got the feeling of never quite feeling as strongly as anyone else, like everyone else is super emotional compared to me. Actually being able to ask someone with aspergers is a nice change to normal, I have to say. I thought of another example as well, when my grandma died, obviously I was sad, but I never went and cried, even at the funeral. This actually leads to me feeling disturbed with myself for not crying, but I suppose some more normal people don't cry either.

I think that the void is always there, but I feel it more when I'm depressed or anxious. As I said, it's caused by the general feeling of detachment and lack of connection to others, but is exaggerated by depression and anxiety.

 

I can relate very well to what you were saying about your grandmother. When my father passed away I didn't cry or feel any particular emotion, I just accepted it as a fact, and I felt guilty about it and thought that I was an insensitive person.

 

Sorry - I should have explained CBT, I meant Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Willow
I've noticed that over time, it seems that something is unusual or wrong about the variety of feelings that I actually have.

Coming from a year group faced with their first full year of external exams, the people around me are showing obvious emotions, ones that even I can pick up. There are ridiculously happy people, who are constantly laughing and smiling with their friends or boyfriends, there are people who are so stressed that the littlest thing is causing them to shout/fall out with a "friend", people who are so scared that they cry when they thing nobody is around. I understand I could be a little off with the reasons, but people are clearly feeling strong emotions around me.

But then, there is me. I just don't feel this, at all. It's like my insides are just empty and anything that I do feel is so slight it hardly impacts on my mood at all. The only feeling I really outwardly get is anxiety, anything else nobody notices I feel, not even myself mostly.

Is this aspergers? Or am I just an insensitive person?

 

I have spent a long time being frustrated and upset that I don't seem to understand other people (when I was at school). I didn't get anxious about exams, I didn't even revise or anything. I just showed up on time and did the test, it wasn't an issue for me (well, I had issues with being in a room with a lot of people and teachers walking up and down the isles and a ticking clock, but not about the exam!) where, everyone else was panicking a lot. I never understood why people got so upset about small things that tend to happen between friends at school. I sometimes see what a person is feeling, but think that I wouldn't be feeling that if it had happened to me. And, when someone is really, really upset or angry, I have no idea what to do. But I'm not sure that I feel as empty as you describe. 

 

Yes, I understand this very well. Sometimes I understand better than others around if someone is feeling sad or left out and others are joking it off, but I can't express that I know how they are feeling and can't help. Sorry, what is CBT? I don't believe I am a depressed person, it's certainally not something I've ever noticed. I was curious if anyone else ever got the feeling of never quite feeling as strongly as anyone else, like everyone else is super emotional compared to me. Actually being able to ask someone with aspergers is a nice change to normal, I have to say. I thought of another example as well, when my grandma died, obviously I was sad, but I never went and cried, even at the funeral. This actually leads to me feeling disturbed with myself for not crying, but I suppose some more normal people don't cry either.

 

My fiancé didn't cry when his Grandma died. I didn't know her well enough to feel anything, but I felt bad for my fiancés Dad because he was obviously very upset at losing his Mum - but I didn't know what to do. The funeral was difficult, everyone was very upset and me and my fiancé were just, mildly sad. When a friend of my family died last year I was upset and I did cry - and I didn't even know him that well. I knew his son well though and I felt so sad for him having to lose his Dad. It upsets me when I think about it now, I just can't believe he's not there anymore. And, I think seeing him very, very ill in the hospital a few days before he died, made it more upsetting. But I don't regret going, I wanted him to know we all cared for him, even though I'm not sure he knew we were there - I think he did.

 

I agree with the things you mentioned here. I suppose the more you know about how people are affected by different kinds of things means when you find out something very good or bad has happened to them then it is easier to empathise with them.

This sounds horrible, but I think I am as sad when a pet dies as when a human I know dies, honestly. They are the same kind of relationship for me, unlike more "normal" type people. (Oh how the word normal annoys me).

  Thanks, I've never heard that one. Or I might have, I'm not very good with abbreviations really.

 

I get upset when I read about animals that have died, or if I see an animal get run over. I actually cry. I cried so much when we accidentally hit a wild rabbit. I made my fiancé bundle him up into a towel we had in our car and we drove to look for a vet for no where was open and by the time we decided to go to the nearest RSPCA the little guy had stopped breathing, so we placed him under a bush away from anywhere busy. I even called him Herbet in the time he was in our car. It really bothered me. Now we're super careful when we are out, especially at night when rabbits are out more often. We've actually stopped to let a rabbit or hedgehog cross before (if no one else is around, otherwise we just swerve or brake a little).

 

I think if anything, I feel too much. Like, way too much!.

Although, I have thought about how I feel about not seeing my parents as much as I used to, and my brother - and I've decided that I don't really miss them. The time that passes between seeing or speaking to them doesn't really seem like any time at all. I can go for weeks without seeing or hearing from them and it doesn't bother me at all. Which is strange, I think. I'm the opposite with my fiancé though. I can't go a day without him - and we've only been apart for one night, when he had a business trip to London overnight, but even with that, we've seen each other every single day for the whole 3 and a half years we've been together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Khasper

I get upset when I read about animals that have died, or if I see an animal get run over. I actually cry. I cried so much when we accidentally hit a wild rabbit. I made my fiancé bundle him up into a towel we had in our car and we drove to look for a vet for no where was open and by the time we decided to go to the nearest RSPCA the little guy had stopped breathing, so we placed him under a bush away from anywhere busy. I even called him Herbet in the time he was in our car. It really bothered me. Now we're super careful when we are out, especially at night when rabbits are out more often. We've actually stopped to let a rabbit or hedgehog cross before (if no one else is around, otherwise we just swerve or brake a little).

When I first learned to drive I accidentally hit a squirrel and I had to stop and by that time it was too late, my whole day was ruined.

I get upset when I see a fuzzy critter that was hit and I have to drive over it.

When my grandma passed away a few months ago and I got a call from my father and it was pretty much "OK, thanks for calling and telling me" and then back to my day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
iggy

 

 

I get upset when I read about animals that have died, or if I see an animal get run over. I actually cry. I cried so much when we accidentally hit a wild rabbit. I made my fiancé bundle him up into a towel we had in our car and we drove to look for a vet for no where was open and by the time we decided to go to the nearest RSPCA the little guy had stopped breathing, so we placed him under a bush away from anywhere busy. I even called him Herbet in the time he was in our car. It really bothered me. Now we're super careful when we are out, especially at night when rabbits are out more often. We've actually stopped to let a rabbit or hedgehog cross before (if no one else is around, otherwise we just swerve or brake a little).

 

I think if anything, I feel too much. Like, way too much!.

That's very considerate of you to be so careful on the roads. I have to tell you for future reference that I think no RSPCA has a vet resident there, they outsource, so that rabbit probably wouldn't have had the help anyway :(

Anyway, in a school situation certain ally, not being affected by the little things(or the bigger things) is probably a good thing, I think. I mean, there's enough to try and concentrate on in an exam hall, never mind fear or anxiety on top of that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf
When I first learned to drive I accidentally hit a squirrel and I had to stop and by that time it was too late, my whole day was ruined. I get upset when I see a fuzzy critter that was hit and I have to drive over it. When my grandma passed away a few months ago and I got a call from my father and it was pretty much "OK, thanks for calling and telling me" and then back to my day.

When I was in Greece I once ran over a snake. In Greece snakes are treated as vermin (they can be dangerous) and the locals go out their way to kill them, even when they are no immediate danger to people. I would never deliberately harm a living creature and was very distressed that I had hit it. The snake has just as much a right to live as I have. The emotion I felt was more anger at my carelessness than being sad.

 

If a family member dies I feel stress at changing situation rather than grief. If I'm not expecting it, it comes as a shock. I feel bad if everyone around me is crying and I'm not, but it doesn't mean I don't care about the person, I just don't have this outward expression of grief. I've never cried at any funeral.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.