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blacktiger911

The War in My Mind

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blacktiger911

so I don't know if anyone else gets this but there is a war that rips through my mind. I am confused in this world (as obviously we all kinda are) but trying to understand everything and everyone it gets overbearing, trying to fit in and act normal taking in everything wanting to do something or ever be someone but it is so hard to do that. You just get kinda lost and it turns into a war between society (the world to sum it up) and me and who I am.

 

what do you think? dose anyone else get this or ever feel it?

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King_oni

Oh, regularly. And I tend to be one of those people see as a non-conforminst anyway.

 

Though I suppose I understand the importance of certain things in the world and how I am trying (and perhaps managing) to function. It doesn't make it any better for me, if anything it makes it worse since it also means that I need to let go of myself. 

 

I've talked about these things with therapists in the past, and they all told me "if you were a teen, this would be worth a shot by therapy" yet at my age now (early 30's) they pretty much give up on such things.

 

However, here's my issue, that makes it a bit more interesting; my AS might give me an odd perspective of the world, and thus it's a struggle for me to get things done, yet, my personality, seems to be just as much a mixed bag, just from a different perspective. It's perhaps why, less and less I feel the obligation to fit in.

 

Not to mention that some things that are part in life just overwhelm me and cause burn-out like traits with me very fast... it's why I'm making a conscious effort to take life one step at a time, on my own pace, with my own agenda... on doctors recommendation.

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L Lawliet

Yes.

 

I make everything ten times worse than it is purely because I try to dissect every little thing about this world and how it works. I over think about everything and as a result, my mind is just chaos (inevitably leading to a meltdown).

 

Trying to understand people when you're an Aspie is just impossible, yet we can't help but obsess over how everything works and fits together, so we end up trying to anyway. We are our own worst enemy at times I swear.

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Nesf

Yes, I can understand this. I have 'crusades' against certain things which I can't relate to or which make no sense to me, such as smoking, gender brainwashing, impractical women's clothing, a general lack of critical thinking and a whole load of illogical things which most people will blindly accept without question. Don't get me started on these, I can monologue for hours! I have always spoken out against such things, it is nesfârșita luptă ( = the never-ending battle).

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BirdSong

Yes, I can understand this. I have 'crusades' against certain things which I can't relate to or which make no sense to me, such as smoking, gender brainwashing, impractical women's clothing, a general lack of critical thinking and a whole load of illogical things which most people will blindly accept without question. Don't get me started on these, I can monologue for hours! I have always spoken out against such things, it is nesfârșita luptă ( = the never-ending battle).

 

Love it Nesf, you are spot on.............i can relate exactly to what you say here.  Ergh....its so exhausting isn't it.  But so very very addictive, once you start its so hard to stop.  And there are so many to choose from.  Colour coding kids by their clothes and assigning kids toys by sex, sorry little girl you can't play with the dinosaur its sold in the Boys section which means its a boys toy!  And boys you can't play with the tea cup set........you might turn out Gay.   Ridiculous and makes my blood boil.  Not trying to derail thread, just an example thats bugging me right now.

 

I have to tune out from the world regularly otherwise i get obsessed with solving the world political, environmental, social problems ect.  Also the news often upsets me so much that I am emotionally exhausted by just reading the paper.  So I hardy watch TV and I am strict with which internet site I visit on days I am vulnerable.  I used to feel guilty for not staying up to date with the world problems, but I realised i wasn't solving them anyway so what was the point, I was just driving myself and everyone around me crazy.  I try and help in other ways, more local to my community instead.

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Nesf

Love it Nesf, you are spot on.............i can relate exactly to what you say here.  Ergh....its so exhausting isn't it.  But so very very addictive, once you start its so hard to stop.  And there are so many to choose from.  Colour coding kids by their clothes and assigning kids toys by sex, sorry little girl you can't play with the dinosaur its sold in the Boys section which means its a boys toy!  And boys you can't play with the tea cup set........you might turn out Gay.   Ridiculous and makes my blood boil.  Not trying to derail thread, just an example thats bugging me right now.

 

I have to tune out from the world regularly otherwise i get obsessed with solving the world political, environmental, social problems ect.  Also the news often upsets me so much that I am emotionally exhausted by just reading the paper.  So I hardy watch TV and I am strict with which internet site I visit on days I am vulnerable.  I used to feel guilty for not staying up to date with the world problems, but I realised i wasn't solving them anyway so what was the point, I was just driving myself and everyone around me crazy.  I try and help in other ways, more local to my community instead.

Yes, this is exactly what I meant by gender brainwashing. And some events reported on the news can really get to me, like Islamic State - why do they even have to exist? And the fact that someone is funding them and giving them weapons. Or the police chasing a boy and his parents across Europe and arresting the parents when the boy is sick in hospital, just because he chose not to have treatment in the UK and wanted different reatment offered elsewhere. And of course, the media love stories like these, so that they can make a sensation out of them.

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smartpanda12

Yes, regularly.

 

I get so confused trying to fit into this world, it gets so confusing. And when I try to explain the way that makes sense to me, people pass it off as being crazy or uneducated in the subject, when it makes sense and would work. And all the issues in this world, I always get very opinionated when discussing world topics with my parents because I see the way to sum things up and they don't. I feels so weird to battle with my mind and society. Its one of the main reasons I just don't like public. I always wonder why NT's can't seem to figure out why we see the world this way, and it actually just gets me frustrated trying to figure people out.

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(deleted)

I don't actually spend that much time in the world outside of home so that's not too much of a problem for me actually...

Edited by invisible

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blacktiger911

wow so many things that mind boggle us but how to stop it I get to the point that I start making mistakes from trying to understand and "fit" it (not like I try very hard)

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BirdSong

Yes, this is exactly what I meant by gender brainwashing. And some events reported on the news can really get to me, like Islamic State - why do they even have to exist? And the fact that someone is funding them and giving them weapons. Or the police chasing a boy and his parents across Europe and arresting the parents when the boy is sick in hospital, just because he chose not to have treatment in the UK and wanted different reatment offered elsewhere. And of course, the media love stories like these, so that they can make a sensation out of them.

 

you should get a laugh from this Nesf

 

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