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aspiesw

When to say the 'L' word?

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aspiesw

I'm just curious as to whether you think there is a time limit on when you should say I love you for the first time to your partner? Is it better to say it after being together a while? Is it wrong to say it early in the relationship? What are your thoughts on this topic?

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blacktiger911

i have no idea i have never been in a "real" relationship but i think when time comes you would just know, but i guess that sometimes dosent work with us. maybe a month or two into the relationship...i'm not sure.

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King_oni

It's a tricky one for some people since some will find that it's too early and some even use the dreaded L word way too often. I remember having an issue with my ex about it, where she at first told me saying "I love you" everytime we see each other feels forced, yet the next time, she blurted it out every 10 minutes to where I pulled the brake and told her to take it easy. I feel that if you use the word too often it loses meaning and impact.

 

I think loving someone in this sense is a step further from liking someone. Perhaps it's a good thing to build up to it over time and tell your partner that you appreciate your partner that you like him/her; that way telling someone you love him/her feels less wrongly timed, since it's slipping in between the other mentions of affection, yet people will notice if you use the world love.

 

But maybe I'm just to rational about this all, heh.

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Whoknows

When I feel like it. When I'm sure of it, I'll say it. Simple.

 

The problem won't be you but the person you want to love. Love comes to be more than words (even if it seems ironic), and every person has a way to it.

 

My friends and teachers have criticized me for going too fast when it comes to it. What can I do with my feelings then? If love takes time, how does it really feel like?

 

This is why it seems ironic:

 

 

The only thing I can really help you with is telling you to know first the feelings of the person you love. If he/she can use hug, do it. In the end, even you know it means that you care for him/her. After all, caring is sharing! LoL! :lol::D

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Ala

It's a tricky one for some people since some will find that it's too early and some even use the dreaded L word way too often. I remember having an issue with my ex about it, where she at first told me saying "I love you" everytime we see each other feels forced, yet the next time, she blurted it out every 10 minutes to where I pulled the brake and told her to take it easy. I feel that if you use the word too often it loses meaning and impact.

 

I think loving someone in this sense is a step further from liking someone. Perhaps it's a good thing to build up to it over time and tell your partner that you appreciate your partner that you like him/her; that way telling someone you love him/her feels less wrongly timed, since it's slipping in between the other mentions of affection, yet people will notice if you use the world love.

 

But maybe I'm just to rational about this all, heh.

I say "I love you" to my partner allot. I think its kind of when I am anxious.. I like to repeat sentences all the time that have no meaning. Not that I don't love him..

My boyfriend did tell me he loved me first and it was quite early on in the relationship. I guess it is just a word..

Aspiesw,

Do you feel love for him and do you get the feeling that he feels the same way about you? There are other ways to say "I love you" or to express that feeling to them.

What do you think you will gain from saying "I love you"?

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The Id

Say it to yourself, show it in your actions :)

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RiRi

I don't think there's a limit or that it's wrong to say it early in a relationship. A person may say "I love you" after the first few days, but only time will tell if they really do.


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ponz

I think it depends on one's personal meaning of the word "love." In my experience, "I love you" doesn't mean "I care deeply about you and I'm loyal to you," but instead means "I'm experiencing a lot of happy chemicals in my brain right now, because I'm infatuated" or "I'm horny." If you understand what your personal meaning is, and then determine that it fits accurately with your feelings towards your partner, I don't see any reason to hold off on saying it.

I think there's this whole "Hollywood romance" idea around saying "I love you," like it's only meant to be said at the perfect moment, thus creating an epic love scene, like in the movies, but that just isn't real life. What logical purpose does waiting to tell your partner how much you care about them have? If you mean it, then say it! ^__^

I personally don't tie much meaning to "I love you," though. Phrases like "I adore you," "I care about you," "You're important to me," "I appreciate you," and "I enjoy being with you," mean a heck of a lot more to me! "Love" is just an empty, overused lie. XP

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No Longer Here

I say "I love you" to my partner allot. I think its kind of when I am anxious.. I like to repeat sentences all the time that have no meaning. Not that I don't love him..

 

 

I do that to my wife too. I say it even when I'm not with her, especially when anxious or I am pushing my body during exercise. It has become a stim. Although I do love her with all my heart I do worry about the amount of times I say it 

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