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Nedarb

Is This Fair?

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Nedarb

Hi everybody I have a very serious topic I want to discuss with you. Recently in my country there has been news about one of our former broadcasters who is facing legal troubles regarding past relationships. According to a few of his exes, he has been physically/sexually abusive towards them. But the only evidence that has appeared so far, is what these women have said. However many people are dragging him through coals, already assuming that he mistreated these women and won't hear that he even has a side or didn't do anything wrong. I am all for women's rights and seeing heartless assholes get served, but the allegations seem a little sketchy to me. The women went to a newspaper and this man's employers, which he was promptly fired. They never went to the police.

Is it really fair for this man to be treated like scum, when there is no evidence or proof of any wrong doing? And no evidence or proof that these women are telling the truth and aren't just scorned lovers who just want revenge? I've read comments where people are claiming that the man is guilty is the success of feminism. But is feminism really about hating the men in the relationship just because he is a man? 

I don't know what to believe but I wanted to hear some of your opinions on the matter

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King_oni

I'm all for "prove it" before you out someone for being abusive and whatever else. And of course, as you pointed out, it might very well be an ex who just wants revenge. Something people have tried on me as well. I'm just not famous, lol.

 

Honestly, I think that, while sexism is a serious matter, we're taking it way, way too far. I can understand how feminism is a thing, but if you ask me, it has little to do with feminism if it's just to out men for being abusive without any evidence thereof. Imagine everyone would do this; imagine men would do this to women as well. Can't imagine a lot of good things coming from that.

 

Perhaps this woman should've informed the authorities when she was dating this guy. Yes, I know that the entire dating and abuse is a tough thing, since a lot of women apparently don't speak out on it. Perhaps that's the empowerment needed rather than the "power" to get back at someone, with little to no evidence, while at the same time garnering a crowd to support your means, while these supporters might not even have a clue what they're supporting. I mean, most people don't even know how to define feminism, and if I see stories like this, I seriously wonder if my idea even adds up to such a word.

 

Feminism in the way like you describe here sounds more like a genderoriented lynchmob than anything else... and lynchmobs were never that great of an idea, yet because we can call it sexism, seemingly, in the 21st century people can get away with it.

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Peridot

I remember Michael Crichton saying that when someone is accused of rape or abuse his or her life might be over before they even enter court. This seems to be an example of that. :(

 

I think it's terrible what you've described. So many people are so very thoughtless and it's sad.

 

The whole feminism thing that's going on nowadays is totally retarded. Misandry is stupid. Misogyny is stupid. I'm so annoyed by it all.

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L Lawliet

They shouldn't have gone to the newspapers first they should have got help. I'm always sceptical of women who are quicker to tell the story to discredit someone than go and get actual help.

Feminism isn't about man hating. Feminism is about women and men being treated equal. Women who use feminism as an excuse to lie and manipulate men are nasty people and only set back peoples views on feminism.

I would hate to think that this is a case where women are doing this for money or revenge but I also hate assuming that they're wrong too because it's not fair on women who are actually abused.

Either way it's not a nice situation :(

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Nedarb

They shouldn't have gone to the newspapers first they should have got help. I'm always sceptical of women who are quicker to tell the story to discredit someone than go and get actual help.

Feminism isn't about man hating. Feminism is about women and men being treated equal. Women who use feminism as an excuse to lie and manipulate men are nasty people and only set back peoples views on feminism.

I would hate to think that this is a case where women are doing this for money or revenge but I also hate assuming that they're wrong too because it's not fair on women who are actually abused.

Either way it's not a nice situation :(

 

Exactly! I'm in that same boat. I don't think that people should automatically side with either party, because if a similar situation happens again, it will be a gigantic mess and careers and lives will possibly be ruined. I'm trying to see both sides, and neither sound particularly strong. I hate when people get wrongly accused of something and it ruins their life. And I hate it when people cry wolf, especially if its regarding relationships, because innocent people will often lose. 

This very similar situation happened to one of my favourite teachers a number of years ago, and people were hounding the guy believing the girls side of the story. But it was revealed in court that the girl was lying. 

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MrGrey

In the United States,  while you are "innocent until proven guilty", it is perfectly OK for an employer to fire you, or a landlord to evict you, if you ever get accused of a criminal act.

 

To put it in perspective, imagine that a teenager gives a ride to some friends.  And one of the friends is carrying pot.  And they get stopped at a random police road block, with drug sniffing dogs, and drugs are discovered.  Charges might be filed against all involved.  And if the landlord gets a hold of that information, they can evict the whole family... when the only mistake was giving a ride to the wrong person at the wrong time.

I believe is unfair, yes.

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King_oni

 

Well, the inherent problem I have with those statistics is; why do only 40 get reported?

 

But aside from that, yes it's unfair and one can wonder why exactly these others aren't dealt with properly.These statistics make it look like it's a reasonable risk one can take just for the heck of it. 

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Tylermc

Yes it's sad that' I know who you are taking about he had the really good show the cbc I thnk its really unfair

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