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Clockwork Crow

when are they Friends

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Clockwork Crow

This might be a really silly question but how do you know if you're someone's friend? (and vice versa)

Have you ever considerd yourself someones friend but they don't think so? 

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Bruce

To answer that needs an agreed definition. Which doesn't seem to exist now. In fact, the most basic respect doesn't exist, a lot of the time! Sorry

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King_oni

I guess it also goes with the notion of "how much value do you put in the definition?"

 

I've got a few "friends", or rather a few people I talk to regularly on a face to face basis and with whom I can share some personal matters without them being all "what's wrong with you?".

 

To further the question, when is someone a friend and when is someone a "good friend" or even "best friend".

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L Lawliet

I see it as a good sign when they ask to spend time with you outside of being forced too. For example, when someone sits next to you in every lesson at school and you get on well that's great, but do they still want to spend time with you at break times too, even better do they want to meet up with you outside of school?

I think it's when you both mutually want to spend more time with each other and are comfortable with each other. A level of trust is good too but that developes over time.

This is just my "on the spot" thinking as to when someone starts becoming my friend. Them wanting to spend time with me as much as I with them. As long as there are no alterior motives (like them pretending to be your friend so they can copy your homework and then not speaking to you in their free time) then usually it's a good sign :)

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Nesf

I agree with StarGazingWithU, if they consider you their friend they'll want to spend time with you outside of school (or work), actively seek your company and want to meet up and do things with you. They'll also confide in you because they feel comfortable with you. If you're sick they'll phone to check if you're ok and ask if you need anything. They will probably expect that you will reciprocate the friendship and do at least some of these things in return.

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3.14159265

In my opinion, it's when you have a discussion about personal matters without it being weird.

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Sofi

I have had problems with this too until more recently because i feel like some friends have taught me well just through their actions how it goes to be friends. I think these responses are right
 

To further the question, when is someone a friend and when is someone a "good friend" or even "best friend".

Probably the friend that you feel the most comfortable and enjoy the company of them  the most and trust them the most with anything so would tell them anything of your personal life or any problems and really believe that they feel the same about you so you sort of have a connection to them specifically  it takes some time to get to that point of getting to the person enough. 
Also there might be physical affection in a good friend or best friend.... or maybe that's just in female friendships 

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Nesf

 

Also there might be physical affection in a good friend or best friend.... or maybe that's just in female friendships 

I'm not sure that this last bit is true... really, it depends what kind of affection it is. I never touch people who are just friends but I've seen other friends touching each other in a friendly way, not a sexual way. It's something I'm not comfortable doing and I don't know the rules for it, I don't like touching people unless absolutely necessary.

Edited by Nesf

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Sofi

I'm not sure that this last bit is true... really, it depends what kind of affection it is. I never touch people who are just friends but I've seen other friends touching each other in a friendly way, not a sexual way. It's something I'm not comfortable doing and I don't know the rules for it, I don't like touching people unless absolutely necessary.

 

Yes, it depends on each friendship then I suppose, each friendship is different. i would know not to touch you in this friendship so it's ok but if I know the other friend is ok with it then it's different. it needs to be established first if it's ok. 

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