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Myrtonos

Who here had any urgent symptoms as a child?

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Myrtonos

It has come to my attention that most posters here are more normal than I once expected from an autistic person. Many were diagnosed in their teens or later, and seem to have gone through school normally (without aides or any special education) and achieved as much social success as they have without mentors. As a child, I never thought of such people as being on the spectrum, and thought of them as normal people, however odd or eccentric they may be, or however talented they are in any areas. I thought that someone who went through school normally and acheiving a lot of social success unmentored must not be on the spectrum. If you had any of the urgent symptoms as a child, then you are not mainstream autistic, and would have had a diagnosis early enough to qualify for an aide in class and other special ed. Mainstream autistic people also tend to talk normally and are fully able to form words. Non-mainstream autistic people may have minor speech impairments (such as stumbling over words) and struggle with explaining things.

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L Lawliet

I wouldn't call myself normal (who likes that word anyway :P) but I was only diagnosed recently. It's the ability to hide symptoms that allow us to appear normal.

 

As for having support, I could have really done with support at school work wise. I cried nearly everyday in the months leading up to my final GCSE exams. I quit university because of the social pressures and copious amounts of group work (urgh!).

 

I showed symptoms but no one noticed it because they spot it in guys. It's unusual for girls to show the traits strong enough to get noticed unfortunately.

 

I've had anything but a "normal" life, I'm just better at putting up with the crap from others and getting on with it I guess. But it's been difficult and that's putting it mildly :) Like I've said in other posts, the two psychologists that assessed me have both said that they knew I had Aspergers just from my initial assessment, so I obviously stand out enough for those who are aware of it.

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Myrtonos

You might have been able to really do with support, but I for example couldn't have stayed in a mainstream school without it, so you are indeed a mainstream autistic, and would have had quite a normal life compared to me. Another thing to note is that it seems to be mainly mainstream austistic people that have things like "You're too _____ to have asperger's syndrome" said to them, especially if it's from people who know them personally. Non-mainstream autistic people, which I am, might instead hear something like "You have a disability and are in denial."

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Bruce

There were symptoms of AS for me but I knew nothing about that and the drs, etc, didn't know much more! Would I have been better off if they'd been more obvious or at least severe, to get more help then? Maybe.

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Sofi

Uhhh... I guess this is me. It has come to my attention too  that a lot of people here seem normal and have gone through school quite normally, even if they struggled. I hve started to think that Aspergers and autism are  actually much more different than i first thought it seems like it's a different thing. i had to go to a special school for autism and learning disabilities i went there all the time and i was  non verbal until i was 7 8  i guess you would say i am non-mainstream autistic

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Myrtonos

Yes, some of them may have struggled, but still went through mainstream schools without aides or any other special ed. You might have first started forming words at either 7 or 8, but do you still struggle with that. This is not the distiction between asperger's and classic autism but between mainstream and other. There seem to be at least two vloggers, one of then known for her makeup tutorials, who do say in their videos that they have aspeger's (not any other ASD) yet still suggest, when describing their lives, they are not mainstream.

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Sofi

You might have first started forming words at either 7 or 8, but do you still struggle with that. 

I talk quite ok now sometimes I don't shut up but I struggle with it when I'm really stressed or anxious and I stutter. 

Yeah I know....I feel like those people are just completely different to me in the ASD thing though.  Are you saying that you are a non-mainstream autistic or you are mainstream?  I'm just me but I feel really different to most people I know with Aspergers  and my autism has a learning disability. 

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L Lawliet

I'm not sure I understand the question/point. Can you explain it? Are you saying that it goes away??

 

I know I'm just being stupid, sometimes I struggle understanding what people write especially in big paragraphs, but I'm not sure I know what you mean :)

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Nesf

It has come to my attention that most posters here are more normal than I once expected from an autistic person. Many were diagnosed in their teens or later, and seem to have gone through school normally (without aides or any special education) and achieved as much social success as they have without mentors. As a child, I never thought of such people as being on the spectrum, and thought of them as normal people, however odd or eccentric they may be, or however talented they are in any areas. I thought that someone who went through school normally and acheiving a lot of social success unmentored must not be on the spectrum. If you had any of the urgent symptoms as a child, then you are not mainstream autistic, and would have had a diagnosis early enough to qualify for an aide in class and other special ed. Mainstream autistic people also tend to talk normally and are fully able to form words. Non-mainstream autistic people may have minor speech impairments (such as stumbling over words) and struggle with explaining things.

 

 

You might have been able to really do with support, but I for example couldn't have stayed in a mainstream school without it, so you are indeed a mainstream autistic, and would have had quite a normal life compared to me. Another thing to note is that it seems to be mainly mainstream austistic people that have things like "You're too _____ to have asperger's syndrome" said to them, especially if it's from people who know them personally. Non-mainstream autistic people, which I am, might instead hear something like "You have a disability and are in denial."

People don't get diagnosed without a reason. To be diagnosed with AS or ASD, you have to fulfill specific criteria, and they have to have a significant impact on your daily life, or you won't receive a diagnosis. You you can hardly say that their lives are 'normal', whatever that means.

 

Many people around my age failed to get a diagnosis as children simply because there was no AS diagnosis when they were children, and though they may have displayed autistic behaviours, they would not have been referred for assessment because they had normal speech development, so didn't meet the diagnosic criteria for autism. Those you describe as being 'non-mainstream' autistic whose symtptoms are severe enough not to be able to attend mainstream school would have received a diagnosis of autism, or severe AS after 1991. When I was at school, the teachers knew very little about autism, and the person who picked up on me and mentioned my having autistic traits to my parents was a remedial teacher I'd been sent to after two years of difficulties at school - but all those around me saw was an erratic moody child with a bad temper and few if any friends who spent a lot of time alone and never joined in class discussions, they never saw an autistic child.

 

Those with mild to moderate AS learn coping strategies and by the time they are adults they are able to hide or deal with their symptoms in order to fit in - and still have difficulties with employment or or relationships then suffer from burnout and depression because of the extra strain on their lives and receive their diagnosis - again, 'normal lives?'  Some people with AS are successful, have jobs and relationships, and if they do, good on them, they are role models for younger people diagnosed with AS and for the public in general to teach them that an AS diagnosis doesn't mean a closed door to success in these areas of life.

 

Another point I'd like to make is that you don't know anybody on this forum personally, so you don't know what they are like in main life, so you can't see or know whether they come across as 'normal' or not. I think that most people here, myself included, express themselves much more fluently in writing on a forum and come across a lot differently than how they come across in real life. Those who say "you're too.... to have Aspergers"  do so out of ignorance, because they don't know what AS is and how it presents. So they think "You're not like Sheldon Cooper, so you can't have AS" Or "You're not like Rainman so you can't be autistic". That's as far as it gets with them. I think that if you met most on this forum in real life, with your knowledge of AS, you'd be able to tell that they had it.

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Myrtonos

People don't get diagnosed without a reason. To be diagnosed with AS or ASD, you have to fulfill specific criteria, and they have to have a significant impact on your daily life, or you won't receive a diagnosis. You you can hardly say that their lives are 'normal', whatever that means.

 

Many people around my age failed to get a diagnosis as children simply because there was no AS diagnosis when they were children, and though they may have displayed autistic behaviours, they would not have been referred for assessment because they had normal speech development, so didn't meet the diagnosic criteria for autism. Those you describe as being 'non-mainstream' autistic whose symtptoms are severe enough not to be able to attend mainstream school would have received a diagnosis of autism, or severe AS after 1991. When I was at school, the teachers knew very little about autism, and the person who picked up on me and mentioned my having autistic traits to my parents was a remedial teacher I'd been sent to after two years of difficulties at school - but all those around me saw was an erratic moody child with a bad temper and few if any friends who spent a lot of time alone and never joined in class discussions, they never saw an autistic child.

 

Those with mild to moderate AS learn coping strategies and by the time they are adults they are able to hide or deal with their symptoms in order to fit in - and still have difficulties with employment or or relationships then suffer from burnout and depression because of the extra strain on their lives and receive their diagnosis - again, 'normal lives?'  Some people with AS are successful, have jobs and relationships, and if they do, good on them, they are role models for younger people diagnosed with AS and for the public in general to teach them that an AS diagnosis doesn't mean a closed door to success in these areas of life.

 

Another point I'd like to make is that you don't know anybody on this forum personally, so you don't know what they are like in main life, so you can't see or know whether they come across as 'normal' or not. I think that most people here, myself included, express themselves much more fluently in writing on a forum and come across a lot differently than how they come across in real life. Those who say "you're too.... to have Aspergers"  do so out of ignorance, because they don't know what AS is and how it presents. So they think "You're not like Sheldon Cooper, so you can't have AS" Or "You're not like Rainman so you can't be autistic". That's as far as it gets with them. I think that if you met most on this forum in real life, with your knowledge of AS, you'd be able to tell that they had it.

 

Yes there must necessarily be a reason to get diagnosed, but urgent symptoms aren't necessarily the reason, as evident from how late many of them were diagnosed, in your 40s in your case, in her teens in Willow's case. Judiging from what I've read on these forums and heard in videos such as Willow's ones, it seems their lives are normal in comparison to someone who needed an aide in school, even though you could hardly say their lives are normal in comparison to those who don't stim or rock, need alone time nor qualify for a diagnosis.

 

As someone who does know me personally has told me; Autistic people of your age who are not mainstream were less likely to attend mainstream schools than those of my generation or younger, people like myself were not accepted into mainstream schools here in the Australia state of Victoria, until the election of Joan Kerner.

 

Yes, many of those with ASD do "learn coping strategies and by the time they are adults they are able to hide or deal with their symptoms in order to fit in" but I have a feeling that the ones who do aren't always milder cases than the ones who don't. They may have more difficulties with employment and/or relationships then those who are not on the spectrum, not stimming or rocking, not needing alone time (with a few exceptions like when using the bathroom), etc, but it is still within the normal range, that is what I used to think was the normal range. Indeed people with AS are successful, have jobs and relationships, and some of them acheive this without mentors. There are notable people of your generation and older who acheived this much success without having even heard of the diagnosis, and as a child, I thought they were all within the normal range, though they had probably had heard of (many of) the non-urgent symptoms.

 

Part of the point is indeed that hardly anyone on this forum, as far as I know, knows each other personally, so do indeed have limited knowledge, but, for instance, I do know that people like you and a number of aspie vloggers such as Willow were diagnosed in their teens or later, and if they had urgent symptoms as children, either they would have had the diagnosis earlier, or would have had some other diganosis that qualified them for special ed, in my case it was pervasive developmental delay. Mainstream autistic people are probably not like Rainman and even people who know them personally might not always realise they can be autistic. I think if I met most on this forum as a child and in person, I imagine they would have seemed as wierd or different as I do, but I wouldn't have realised they had diagnosable autistic spectrum disorder. Sure, even non-mainstream ones might have things like "you're too... to be autistic" said to them by penfriends, but people who know them personally are more likely to tell them they are in denial of having a disability.

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