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Ben

Loving Yourself, The greatest Love Of All.

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Ben

I've always been somewhat confused, shall we say, with love. I've bored you all over and over again with the story of my ex, so I won't go there again, but, in the last year, I've noticed a feeling of being content with my own self. 

 

I had someone bully me a while ago, and I was so nonchalant in the way I looked at him, the person got bored, and ended up giving up, and wanting to be mates. 

 

My attitude was "I got me mate, I don't need no one else's approval. You just keep chirping away if it makes you happy" 

 

 

But that's not all. I've taken myself out to London all on my own several times now, and have found that my own company is enough, I have a laugh on my own, and well, I get on well with that guy Ben, he gets me! Lol. 

 

I've felt this awesome sense of emotion since writing my book too. I'm feeling love, very similar to what I felt for my girlfriend believe it or not! And it's amazing. All of this is coming from within. And it lives in me. I never needed a woman for that. It was in me all along. (The sex was good though) 

 

But I truly do carry this amazing amount of love and emotion around with me. I'm using it in so many areas of my life, and the most incredible thing is, I'm on my own. I've discovered this awesome amount of patience for people, (It won't seem it, but what you see on the internet isn't me). 

 

 

It may sound like I'm intense, and boiling over, but nope. I'm sat here, never feeling calmer in my life. I'm just a guy who I think has discovered himself, and if I haven't, I'm very close to it. I just feel (For the most part) peace, harmony, and patience. And I'm on my own most of the time. 

 

I have found myself forgiving even the most evil people. People who have wronged me, betrayed me, hurt me. All I say to myself is, "You could take everything away from me, and strip me to the birthday suit, but I'll still have me" 

 

 

I hope I haven't scared anyone, and that this doesn't sound weird to you. I just thought I would share a bit more about myself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Heather

I think that is very good.  I remember a while a back my boyfriend talking to me about how someone can't really love someone else until they love themselves or something.. and it's true I think.  You're not depending on someone else for happiness and love, and can therefore be happy with them and be there for them better.

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spiderwoman0_2

It's a pity more people weren't like you Ben, you have excepted yourself for who you are and that is a great acheivment, not many people can do this.  We should all take a leaf out of your book and try to love ourselves more and there's nothing wrong with liking your own company.  You are getting on with life before it passes you by and believe me it goes quick.

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Andy

If you can't love yourself who can you love ?

 

For if you love yourself you are confident in yourself and that confidence is what attracts others to you, but you can do without them because you have yourself so why compromise as all compromising does is erodes the self and so people make take you as they find you like you or not, that is their choice.

 

My time these past seven years on my own has been my greatest learning experience for now I am totally comfortable with myself on my own and I know me at last warts and all, I know what I am good at and what I am bad at and what I desperately need to improve on for my own well being for no one can help me on that for that comes from within and the feeling is, with summer it's coming, I feel it as the days get longer and so do understand I am very weather dependent as I guess most others are, but with the freedom of myself to please with no debts and no attachments who knows where I may end up to please me and be most comfortable.

 

But my country of birth is I admit scaring me and I may need to leave it behind for in this society I cannot wholly fit in although I am expected to, I may need to seek a more laid back existence where people are worth more than the contents of their wallet for alone anywhere I can deal with if I can deal with it here and I have demonstrated I can live very cheaply given my fasting diet and I am not without skills and the capacity to learn as I go and when pushed I can be very resourceful if a little weird at times.

 

But I understand I am solar powered.

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Willow

 Yeah, just don't over do it, otherwise it'll just be arrogance :P

But yes if you don't accept yourself for who you are then you can't expect other people to.

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mary

I think I accept myself for who I am, but I don't particularly 'love' myself.  I know, I know, no one else can love you if you don't love yourself... was told that so many times when I was growing up... but umm... no, I accept myself.  I am quite happy in my own company, or that of my dog and family, and don't feel the need to go seeking companionship or company.  I'm not particularly confident, but manage to do well at work... well more so until I told them about my diagnosis :/

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Ben

I'm a very unusual kind of guy. Not many can figure me out. 

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Sofi
 Yeah, just don't over do it, otherwise it'll just be arrogance :P

 

LOL! 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't particularly like myself, I don't really like who I am & what my life is, but I sometimes think I am a better than other people sometimes, which is an ego thing. We had a thread somewhere else about people on the spectrum having an ego issue. 

I definitely like my own company though, most of the time, and I enjoy my company and I laugh a lot. 

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Ben

If there is an assumption here that I'm arrogant, or have an ego, believe me, I dropped that years ago. I was humbled big time last year, pride will always go before a fall, I learned that the hard way. 

 

I'm talking self respect here. 

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