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blacktiger911

the pain in the heart

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blacktiger911

so i was pursuing Facebook and guess who's page i found...my ex's, and i stupidly clicked on it i dont know why but i did. and it brought back a lot of pain and depression. i can literally feel my heart pounding agents my chest as if i just saw a ghost or got scared i kinda with that dident happen.

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King_oni

Be glad it's "just" on facebook. The girl I've been with for almost a decade actually lives relatively closeby, not to mention, she's the sister of my childhood friend, whom I also have on facebook. Regularly she comments on his status updates. And since she lives in the area, I might, but for some reason haven't, run into her when at the mall or so. Last time I saw her was at a NYE party a few years ago, which made it a bit uneasy, since it was nearing midnight and I wasns't entirely sure if I should at least wish her happy new year... luckily she left before midnight, hah. 

 

And then there's other ex girlfriends... my last one lives on the other side of the country, but I'm sure I'm going to run into her in 4 weeks at the dutch comic-con, since comics and such were one of the things we shared as an interest. Probably be even more sour if she shows up with a new boyfriend of course, but meh... I shouldn't invite her to my pity party, lol

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blacktiger911

I just wish I could talk to her one more time is all.

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Ben

My ex - after three years of us being apart, still feels the need to Email me selfies. She looks absolutely stunning, just as she did the day I met her. BUT, what I've come to realise is that looks are entirely superficial, and I've only got to remind myself of two things:- 

 

  • Why we broke up in the first place
  • Where am I at with my life now? 

 

Answer one: different religions. I'm Christian, she's Hindu. Her family would kill us both if they knew about us. 

 

Answer two: I'm well on my way to becoming a beef and/or dairy farmer. Yeah, in case you didn't know, that's a real deal breaker from where she comes from. 

 

Bottom line is that I've changed; we both have, and although we still get on, and as much as we both - at times, probably hold out hope that's going to work out, we both know it won't. So, if we were to get back together again, we'd separate for the exact same reason again in turn. 

 

I love my career and what I do now more than I could love any woman. My career comes first. And I'm not being funny, but I can think of at least two, maybe three girls who have fluttered their eyelashes at me since, who I would be much more compatible with. And I'm sure if you think about it, you can think of a few yourself.

 

 

Hopefully something in here helps. 

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brokenOne

As a general rule i dont talk or communicate with any of my exes. No i wont be "Just be friends." ... Nor will i be someone you keep around in your life until you slowly get over me or when you need a quick ego boost.. Things didn't workout for a reason and im gonna move on from that part of my life. Both my exes said they were friends with all of their ex boyfriends and it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth, because im not about to be another one of those ex boyfriends that you keep in your social circle so you can keep tabs on me. I deleted Facebook and changed my number because she had the nerve to contact me when i told her it was over. Now that i am completely off the radar i dont even hear a peep. Its nice being able to move on from that chapter in my life.

Edited by brokenOne

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Asgardian

so i was pursuing Facebook and guess who's page i found...my ex's, and i stupidly clicked on it i dont know why but i did. and it brought back a lot of pain and depression. i can literally feel my heart pounding agents my chest as if i just saw a ghost or got scared i kinda with that dident happen.

If she has affected you that badly just by going on her Facebook page, it seems to me that it would be best if you don't communicate with her, because for whatever reason she is obviously causing you anxiety.

 

 

My ex - after three years of us being apart, still feels the need to Email me selfies. She looks absolutely stunning, just as she did the day I met her. BUT, what I've come to realise is that looks are entirely superficial, and I've only got to remind myself of two things:- 

 

  • Why we broke up in the first place
  • Where am I at with my life now? 

 

Answer one: different religions. I'm Christian, she's Hindu. Her family would kill us both if they knew about us. 

 

Answer two: I'm well on my way to becoming a beef and/or dairy farmer. Yeah, in case you didn't know, that's a real deal breaker from where she comes from. 

 

Bottom line is that I've changed; we both have, and although we still get on, and as much as we both - at times, probably hold out hope that's going to work out, we both know it won't. So, if we were to get back together again, we'd separate for the exact same reason again in turn. 

 

I love my career and what I do now more than I could love any woman. My career comes first. And I'm not being funny, but I can think of at least two, maybe three girls who have fluttered their eyelashes at me since, who I would be much more compatible with. And I'm sure if you think about it, you can think of a few yourself.

 

 

Hopefully something in here helps. 

This is where society frustrates me. From what I can tell, your relationship with her didn't work out due to the influence of others. It doesn't seem to me like you have any issue with her or vice versa, more it is the attitudes of other people such as her family which prevent you being together.

 

You said to me in another post that to develop as a person you should spend time with people who you wouldn't normally spend time with. That makes sense to me, but it also makes sense to me that people from different backgrounds should be allowed to spend time together and even pursue relationships if that is what they want. I know you are not seeking sympathy by what you posted, but I am really sorry that you feel that relationship cannot work out. In my opinion the attitudes and views of certain people are what is preventing it, not how you or her feel about each other.

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brokenOne

"more it is the attitudes of other people such as her family which prevent you being together."

 

That reminds me, for whatever reason her mother did not like her seeing me, she was passive aggressive about it and i only think that hastened the ending of the relationship, so you are definitely right in that regard.

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nichii

so i was pursuing Facebook and guess who's page i found...my ex's, and i stupidly clicked on it i dont know why but i did. and it brought back a lot of pain and depression. i can literally feel my heart pounding agents my chest as if i just saw a ghost or got scared i kinda with that dident happen.

I know how you feel. Today I was going through some paperwork from my psychiatrist and under contacts it had my ex's name on there and next to her name it said girlfriend. That hit me pretty hard. I never got over the breakup and reading that felt like someone stabbing me in the heart.

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PandaPrincess

Facebook always has a way to make people feel worse.  :(  My advice is to stay away from facebook for a while because personally, when I am on facebook and I see how everybody else has lots of friends to hang out with, I get really sad and depressed because I don't have close friends to hang out with.  I blocked my ex off of facebook, and I have no desire to talk to him or see him again, but if things were different, I would probably understand the pain that you're going through.  I'd say just stay away from her page....I know that's easier said than done though  :unsure: Whenever I have a crush on somebody, I often look at their page, and it's hard to not do it, but I think it's easier to forget about somebody and make the pain go away if you don't look at their facebook or other stuff that reminds you of them.  I hope you feel better.

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