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Gin

I get incredibly jealous/upset when a friend gets into a relationship

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Gin

Sadly, whenever a friend of mine gets into a relationship I cannot help but hate the person. I get absolutely uninterested in pursuing the friendship until they break up and I generally see the new partner as some self-absorbed manipulative, horny skank. I hate that I get this way, and I really want to find a way to overcome this, especially as I'm reaching the age where everyone of my old friends seems to be in a serious relationship or getting engaged.

 

I think it might be due to the fact that I had to comfort so many heartbroken souls that I just feel from experience that dating is a waste of time that doesn't make anyone happy.

 

Also I have never "loved" somebeody and currently feel like it is something hollywood made up to sell movies and hallmark cards.

 

It might just be that "meeting new people" is taken as an automatic insult on my end, as in, the people you already know are not good enough.

 

Maybe it is just my fear of change too.

 

 

I cannot even stand Barney of "How I met your mother" dating anyone because it feels like a betrayal of the character, I really need help or advice. Does anyone else struggle with this? The worst is concerning my brothers, no whore is good enough in my opinion. I really need help :(

Edited by Gin

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RiRi

I get jealous too. I want my friends all to myself, as I've said before in one of these threads. When my friends get a new friend or into a relationship, I get jealous. I usually try to hide it, but I kind of end up ignoring my friends for a while. Opposite to your situation, I try to become friends with their new friend or person that they're in a relationship with. It feels much better when I'm friends with them rather than when I'm not. I guess my advice would be to try and become friends with the person your friends or brothers are in relationship with. 



 

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Gin

I get jealous too. I want my friends all to myself, as I've said before in one of these threads. When my friends get a new friend or into a relationship, I get jealous. I usually try to hide it, but I kind of end up ignoring my friends for a while. Opposite to your situation, I try to become friends with their new friend or person that they're in a relationship with. It feels much better when I'm friends with them rather than when I'm not. I guess my advice would be to try and become friends with the person your friends or brothers are in relationship with. 

 

 

I try to and it tends to feel better, sadly i've been told it is noticeable through my facial expressions. It is probably the part I despise the most about my character. I hate how despite me trying to hide it through my actions some part of me has to show

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RiRi

I try to and it tends to feel better, sadly i've been told it is noticeable through my facial expressions. It is probably the part I despise the most about my character. I hate how despite me trying to hide it through my actions some part of me has to show

It sounds like you really dislike them as to not being able to at least fake that you do. I had someone told me a story about them not being able to fake that they like this person because of how much they disliked them. 

I guess we can't really do much about that. If we don't like them then it will show regardless of whether we try to fake it or not. I would at least try to remain friends with the friend or bother involved, because in some cases it's the other person who doesn't like us so we can't really fake that we like them when they don't like us. 

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Gin

It sounds like you really dislike them as to not being able to at least fake that you do. I had someone told me a story about them not being able to fake that they like this person because of how much they disliked them. 

I guess we can't really do much about that. If we don't like them then it will show regardless of whether we try to fake it or not. I would at least try to remain friends with the friend or bother involved, because in some cases it's the other person who doesn't like us so we can't really fake that we like them when they don't like us. 

 

that is probably true, I would require my friends' lovers to be patient with me until I get used to the idea, but sadly they don't really have a reason to be

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Sofi

I have this problem too. 

 

 

I get jealous too. I want my friends all to myself, as I've said before in one of these threads. When my friends get a new friend or into a relationship, I get jealous. I usually try to hide it, but I kind of end up ignoring my friends for a while. Opposite to your situation, I try to become friends with their new friend or person that they're in a relationship with. It feels much better when I'm friends with them rather than when I'm not. I guess my advice would be to try and become friends with the person your friends or brothers are in relationship with. 
 

This sounds exactly like my problem too!  I want to my best friend's only friend and want them all to myself and I get very upset and depressed and jealous and just really wonder if the friend won't be my friend at the same time. It would feel better for me too, if i could be friends with their friends too but I find it  hard to start that or feel embarrassed to ask my friend if I can become their friend too, so I have not done that yet.
Also, this problem is usually just with my one best friend. I only really want my one best main friend at the time and I get upset if they have their other friends :(

I am really trying to get better with this. 

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brokenOne

I find in my experience people come and go in this world. I usually end up alone, not that i dislike that, i prefer being alone, but in the past i have had people only be my friend because i was spur of the moment or just someone to keep them busy. When you get older you really see the games people play and i just eventually chose to opt out entirely. For me jealousy has never been an emotion ive felt over people because i know they probably wont be around, so why should i really care? Only one friend in real life has ever tried to make and keep a connection with me and thats why we are close.

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L Lawliet

I don't get jealous as such, but I find it hard to adjust to the fact that my friend doesn't rely on me as much any more and if I want to meet up with my friend, I usually have to meet up with their partner too. It's not really jealousy, it's more I'm put off by the fact that I am being forced into a social situation where if I don't get on with the person I could lose a friend or find it socially exhausting to have another person in my life.

I can get posessive over my friends, but like posted in a thread not too long ago, it's because I don't have friends I grew up with and I find it hard to get close to people in a way that they eventually consider me their best friend. So when I do get one, I do everything I can to keep them.

Sofi, I'm working on it too :lol:

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null

I used to be like this, but now I think to myself 'What right do I have to be jealous?' and try and focus on being happy for my friend. It usually works

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Eustace

I don't really know what "love" is/feels like either. Nobody I have asked is able to give me a concise description, thus, I can't tell if I have felt it myself, but I assume I haven't because emotion, that is, the centralised idea of "emotion", is something in a different format to what I can read. It's interesting to imagine I do in fact feel it, but don't consciously acknowledge anything at all.

 

As for your feelings of jealousy, I can't say I've felt it before, but I did read somewhere (or am revisiting a thought I had once) that it's a defence mechanism against change; a means by which the brain wishes to keep a relationship with something normal through negative emotion - so the human under control of the mind gets up and actively fends off the "threat".

 

Eustace.

Edited by Eustace

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