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El_Lordee33

Telling your friend that she may be a aspie

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RiRi

I think the question you should ask is, does she have any significant difficulties in her life because of these traits? Does she have social or relationship difficulites, or problems with employment? If the answer is yes, then perhaps you should devise a way of broaching the topic to her, because, assuming she does have AS, then knowing it and understanding herself better will be beneficial to her. If not, then I wouldn't mention it, because it might make her feel self-conscious and accentuate those traits, and make her doubt herself to the point where it will begin to affect her life, where it didn't before. I hope this all makes sense.

I agree with this. Telling her might make her self-conscious and she might not take it well. I thought about it like that because I know from personal experience, that I did not take it well. I have a friend who is very social seems to be doing well. She gets along with her parents, has a job so I thought about that one and it was a definite no on telling her although I've seen people treating her badly and her having meltdowns and it's made me want to tell her, but I haven't. What I do is try to support her and make her feel that the people treating badly are in the wrong, which they are and I did that without mentioning that she might be autistic. She seems to be doing fine, last time I spoke to her.

 

Im not intimate to the point of knowing much about her problems, but i do know she has lots of problems with her mother. Well it could pretty much be other kinds of problems but i have the hypothesis that she doesnt go along with her mother because she probably hates/miscomprehends her possible aspie traits

This is hard, but you can do something similar to what I did with my friend and you can suggest her to be more understanding of her mother. Tell her how there might have been struggles that her mom went through that she doesn't know about and that maybe they would have a better relationship if she began trying to understand her. I began having a better relationship with my mom before I found out about autism. I began seeing that perhaps she had a difficult life and perhaps there was a reason why she treated me badly. So, we had already begun getting along better. Of course, now that I know I'm autistic, we get along so much better. But, learning about my autism has made me more autistic. There was a drawback in that regard. As I don't go out much anymore and have become extremely self-conscious of myself, which I think I wasn't really there before. I think I was doing fine before I found out.

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(deleted)

I have a similar problem with my (male) aspie friend, but I think that he already knows that he is probably an aspie (he is just not officially diagnosed).

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MrGrey

  I have a very fine-tuned aspie-dar and I've lots of friends and acquaintances whom, I'm sure, are in the spectrum.  But I also know they wont accept it, so I keep it to myself.  And it's sad because with many of them, I noticed they develop negative coping mechanisms... the usual things that any misdiagnosed aspie goes through during teenage:  Thinking the world is out to get them, that everybody is trying to make them look bad, etc

 

  I think we are better of knowing, but again, some people wont accept it, nor they will be able to handle it.

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