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Ben

Boys, would you donate?

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Ben

Blimey! That's what we call going the extra mile! Your a brave one Oakers. 

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mary
You want me to be honest? When posting this it truly never crossed my mind. I've been brought up to embrace it, so I guess I neglect things like that. To me it's normal, I don't think about it. 

 

Very rarely do I think about having aspergers. Probably never actually. 

 

Well, I'm not ashamed of having AS, but I'd not wish it on any offspring.  Just because I've done well for myself doesn't mean that any children I have would fare as well... why risk it?

 

It's nothing to be ashamed of but I certainly wouldn't be celebrating if I knew a child of mine had AS  / ASD... for I'd then worry about how it affected them and whether they'd be able to function... as per Willow's great post which outlined difficulties as well.

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mary
Blimey! That's what we call going the extra mile! Your a brave one Oakers. 

 

I like to be able to back up what I'm talking about Ben... If I found out from that that I was definitely wrong I'd have stood up and admitted it.

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Bruce

Anyway, it seems that any of us diagnosed with Asperger's/ Autism, etc, wouldn't be allowed to donate, so that's really an end to the discussion, surely?

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Ben
Maybe you'd be a good parent, Ben - how many others would bring their child up that way, though? My parents didn't know what was 'wrong' with me but that was their approach, certainly not to 'embrace it'! But, see, if you donate, it's luck of the draw what parents end up bringing the child up, so they might well be more like that than like you.

 

I think given the context of this, and listening to responses, I'll probably not donate now. I could picture an 8 year old me, not getting any help. My parents were there, and never saw me as having anything wrong, so I didn't either. 

 

I'm one of the blessed aspies really. I had it easy. I couldn't let a product of my being, go through unneeded pain. I guess my parents did too good a job, because I forgot my own aspergers while writing this topic. 

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Sofi

I would definitely worry about passing on any form of ASD to a child of mine. It wouldn't stop me from having a child if I decided I was in the right situation to have a child but it would be on my mind a lot and during the first few years, I feel I'd be super aware about the child reaching milestones etc. I know people can be a lot more affected than me, and I don't know how I'd feel if my child ended up with severe classic autism or something. All I know is I'd give them every kind support I could. 

I don't really know how much the odds increase if both parents have an ASD? 

 

I can understand why males with a kind of mental disability are not allowed to be donors.

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Willow

As someone who knows they have an ASD, when thinking about donating, you're not the one at liberty to make the decision, to be fair - it's either the 'company' who collect it or if you are meeting with a couple, it's their decision but either way it would need to be brought up and I doubt any company would accept you and few couples would either, which is harsh but probably true.

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Bruce

But it's OK for girls with mental health issues to become mothers? Dare anybody challenge the logic of this, since it's been raised?

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mary
I would definitely worry about passing on any form of ASD to a child of mine. It wouldn't stop me from having a child if I decided I was in the right situation to have a child but it would be on my mind a lot and during the first few years, I feel I'd be super aware about the child reaching milestones etc. I know people can be a lot more affected than me, and I don't know how I'd feel if my child ended up with severe classic autism or something. All I know is I'd give them every kind support I could. 

I don't really know how much the odds increase if both parents have an ASD? 

 

I can understand why males with a kind of mental disability are not allowed to be donors.

 

Sofi, I think it's a completely different situation if you wish to have a child yourself, rather than be a donor of say sperm, or even eggs... If you decide to have a child yourself you are taking the responsibility for that child, but if you donate you have no idea what sort of situation a potential child could be brought into, nor do you know what the matching egg would mean the child could inherit...

 

I always thought that if I ended up with children I'd always love them and never want to have them adopted out or anything like that, but it's not in my 'ideal plan' kind of thing.  If I had kids though it'd only be with someone I thought would be around forever and then it'd not bother me if my child had something 'wrong' with it as I'd be there to love and support the child no matter what.  That's the difference... some parents don't want to know about a 'disabled' child and only want a perfect one.

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mary
But it's OK for girls with mental health issues to become mothers? Dare anybody challenge the logic of this, since it's been raised?

 

They're not saying that... but you'd not really be being responsible if you donate and you have a mental illness are you?  Just like other issues... they would want to have the 'best' possible sperm available.

 

No one is saying that people with these issues can't have kids, but you can't exactly go farming out these issues on unsuspecting people.  Usually if you choose to have a chlid you'll be in a relationship whereby you'd hopefully know about any potential issues your partner had and you'd weigh up the pros and cons of having a child in that given situation...

 

or so I was led to believe all my life!

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