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slandau

Whenever I text people I can never tell if they actually want to talk to me. How do I know if people actually want me to respond or keep talking to them? I don't want to be intrusive or bother them if they don't want to talk to me I just cant tell when or if I'm bothering them. I just don't know if they want to talk to me.

 

Here is an example conversation:

 

Me: Hey want me to return the thing I borrowed or keep it and return it later?

Her: Eithers fine

Me: Alright. Say what days do you work?

Her: I come when they call.

Me: Ah that must be nice. How long are the your days usually?

 

I know its not much to work with but I cant tell if she actually wants to talk to me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but then again maybe not. 

Edited by slandau

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MagicBard

A couple of things come to mind

 

either she's busy and can't really talk, but for some reason doesn't say she is busy.

 

or she just isn't a chatty person.

 

does she ask you questions too?  that's usually a good indicator if they want to talk. or well text in this case.

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RiRi

It seems like she wants to talk to you. I just want to say something, I don't mean to criticize, but how would it be nice to come when they call? That means she doesn't have a set schedule so she can't really tell you what days she works which in turn can't really say when you can return whatever you borrowed.



Actually, I take that back, she could have said something like "I'll let you know when I work or when I'm free since I'm on call" but instead she kept it short and said "I come when they call" doesn't sound like she wanted to tell you all the details. 

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slandau

It seems like she wants to talk to you. I just want to say something, I don't mean to criticize, but how would it be nice to come when they call? That means she doesn't have a set schedule so she can't really tell you what days she works which in turn can't really say when you can return whatever you borrowed.

Actually, I take that back, she could have said something like "I'll let you know when I work or when I'm free since I'm on call" but instead she kept it short and said "I come when they call" doesn't sound like she wanted to tell you all the details. 

Yea I guess I didnt really think of that when I wrote it.

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RiRi

does she ask you questions too?  that's usually a good indicator if they want to talk. or well text in this case.

Yes, I agree with this, this usually indicates if they want to chat and I also agree that she might not be a chatty person based on how she responded.

 

Yea I guess I didnt really think of that when I wrote it.

That's okay. Did you get a reply after that?

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RiRi

Although, I don't know all the details, as of now, it seems like...
 
She wants to talk for the following reasons
1) She replied every text you send her - Her saying "Either's fine" could mean she's nice, or she doesn't mind what you do with whatever you borrowed. 
2) She responded your questions - You didn't need to send her multiple texts to get a reply or even a no reply.
 
She doesn't want to talk for the following reasons
1) She didn't ask questions back to you
2) She kept answers short

Overall, she doesn't seem like a chatty person. Based on that and how well you know her you can get an idea of whether she wants to talk or not.

Edited by Anna

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Nesf

I find it hard to tell - I don't ever text people to chat, but usually for specific information, to wish them a happy birthday or to arrange something. If I want to have a longer conversation with someone, I email them, or arrange to meet them. As a general rule, if someone sends me a short message, I send a short on back and avoid going into lots of details, so those replies don't seem particularly unusual to me.

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slandau

It is possible she is just unavailable right now and no she did not text back after the last question.

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RiRi

It is possible she is just unavailable right now and no she did not text back after the last question.

Yes. It's okay too if she doesn't reply later. You can text her a couple days later with something else to see if she wants to talk.

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King_oni

Such a conversation would be confusing for me as well.

 

But for some reason all my friends have no issue to tell me "I'm busy" otherwise the conversation can go on for a while until it dies out and we both run out of stuff to say.

 

I usually use whatsapp, which makes it a bit easier since it tells you when someone was online last time.. and the blue checks, which have caused some controversy a while ago... I kinda think they're handy, yet I don't put as much value in it as some who take offense. Apparently plenty of people were all irked over the fact that someone can read your message, said app tells you so and the other person isn't replying. That's the world we live in now, lol.

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