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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

The_Unrequited_Love_And_Resulting_Anger_Of_The_Rejected_Aspie (**me**)

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Yeah, I think it'd best to take them off, but for future reference, people won't know what he considered attractive or not. I'm not sure whether that would be relevant or not though.

It's done (served it's brief purpose), so now all I can say now is "what pictures and what link are you all referring too " :unsure: . I'm glad you think my perception of beuty is consistent with the majority, but the girls I reject wouldn't be shy of their own offers anyway because girls have it easy in that respect and almost everyone (them included ;) ) is beautiful to someone. Penny on big bang theory is easily the most attractive, but I'd easily choose my celeb/fictional crush Amy farah fowler over her anyday.

 

Too exclusive means being too selfish with yourself; you don't let anyone else have you.  It is okay to some extent, and it has to be on your terms, but to succeed in dating you do have to be available to some extent.  Being exclusively unavailable when dating is not a great place to start.  It is an exchange afterall.  But if you're unavailable then how can that happen?

 

The other observation I noticed right from the start is on negativity.  How are you coming across when dating?  "Hopeful" might be a better word.

Well I'd date other girls at the same time too (if I were lucky enough to have offers) but I'm just ruling out girls like these (which Anna can agree with, hopefully for the right reasons) because you can't force yourself to like someone, it's unfair on the recipient and damaging to yourself.

Edited by Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

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Asgardian

True, and I agree with that. I don't think it was fair to them to post them and rate them, but when I was reading his posts from the start, I thought that maybe he was setting the bar too high, but when I saw the pictures it gave me a better idea that perhaps he wasn't. I'm not sure, but that's how I saw it. I don't think I'm explaining myself very well.

As I said, I don't think how attractive these people are is relevant.

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RiRi

As I said, I don't think how attractive these people are is relevant.

I know Phil, I know that it's not relevant.

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Asgardian

Phil, could you edit out the link is still in one of your posts. 

Done, I deleted the whole post because it makes no sense now.

 

 

I know Phil, I know that it's not relevant.

OK, I was just stating my opinion.

Edited by Phil

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RiRi

It's done (served it's brief purpose), so now all I can say now is "what pictures and what link are you all referring too " :unsure: . I'm glad you think my perception of beuty is consistent with the majority, but the girls I reject wouldn't be shy of their own offers anyway because girls have it easy in that respect and almost everyone (them included ;) ) is beautiful to someone. Penny on big bang theory is easily the most attractive, but I'd easily choose my celeb/fictional crush Amy farah fowler over her anyday.

 

Well I'd date other girls at the same time too (if I were lucky enough to have offers) but I'm just ruling out girls like these (which Anna can agree with, hopefully for the right reasons) because you can't force yourself to like someone, it's unfair on the recipient and damaging to yourself.

I agree, it served it's purpose. Yes, i don't think it would be good to date someone whom you don't find anything attractive from them, like you said, it would only hurt both of you guys. Them, by making them believe you like them when you don't. You, by being miserable in a relationship you don't want to be in.

 

Done, I deleted the whole post because it makes no sense now.

 

 

OK, I was just stating my opinion.

Okay.

Edited by Anna

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

I agree, it served it's purpose. Yes, i don't think it would be good to date someone whom you don't find anything attractive from them, like you said, it would only hurt both of you guys. Them, by making them believe you like them when you don't. You, by being miserable in a relationship you don't want to be in.

 

Okay.

Basically you've got that right! Very few people can genuinely find attraction in those who are only internally beautiful and I have no idea what becomes of things like sex or kissing etc (though I respect those kinds of people even if I don't envy them). But it my case I wanted to point out (as a means of contesting the valid points that Mike_GX101 was putting across about me being too exclusive) that I'm not (the middle pics in the link easily show this) and that like everyone I can recognise beauty from the beasts (so to speak :rolleyes: ) when I see it.

 

Anna are you an aspie or NT and have you experience with online dating? Most online dating is dominated naturally by NT girls but either way I just wanna make sure I'm sending the right message (as in the content) and then it's just a matter of finding the right site (if not P.O.F, then perhaps a paid for site).

 

 

As I said, I don't think how attractive these people are is relevant.

It was made relevent by me and made available for a short while specifically to the people answering, specifically to help you understand who I did and didn't find attractive.

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Asgardian

It was made relevent by me and made available for a short while specifically to the people answering, specifically to help you understand who I did and didn't find attractive.

Maybe, but I am unsure whether or not people needed to see the people you find attractive to understand what you mean. Does it really add any value to your original point? No, in my opinion it doesn't.

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RiRi

Basically you've got that right! Very few people can genuinely find attraction in those who are only internally beautiful and I have no idea what becomes of things like sex or kissing etc (though I respect those kinds of people even if I don't envy them). But it my case I wanted to point out (as a means of contesting the valid points that Mike_GX101 was putting across about me being too exclusive) that I'm not (the middle pics in the link easily show this) and that like everyone I can recognise beauty from the beasts (so to speak :rolleyes: ) when I see it.

 

Anna are you an aspie or NT and have you experience with online dating? Most online dating is dominated naturally by NT girls but either way I just wanna make sure I'm sending the right message (as in the content) and then it's just a matter of finding the right site (if not P.O.F, then perhaps a paid for site).

 

It was made relevent by me and made available for a short while specifically to the people answering, specifically to help you understand who I did and didn't find attractive.

Yes, I respect them as well. Yeah, I understand. To be honest, you were coming across as having too high expectations, but now I realize that maybe you weren't. 

I'm an aspie, but I'm not sure why that's relevant to what we're talking about? I don't think I have experience with online dating. What is the message that you're trying to send? Sorry. I don't think it was clear to me, was it that you agree with what the majority of the population considers physically attractive?

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Yes, I respect them as well. Yeah, I understand. To be honest, you were coming across as having too high expectations, but now I realize that maybe you weren't. 

I'm an aspie, but I'm not sure why that's relevant to what we're talking about? I don't think I have experience with online dating. What is the message that you're trying to send? Sorry. I don't think it was clear to me, was it that you agree with what the majority of the population considers physically attractive?

In general I'm not sure if the original post had a point, it started out as something I was gonna give to my councellor or base a session on with regards to this internal conflict, but now I guess it's moved on given that a few respondents have kept it going. The type of advice (especially with regards to expectations and do's and don'ts would probably differ from aspies to NT's, but none are any more or less valued as I have romantic interests in both). But since you're not an NT, it just means I can't ask why or what you saw in an aspie guy (assuming you're in a relationship anyway).

Edited by Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

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