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Madge

Forum for 12 year old daughter with ASD?

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Madge

Hi, I'm new to the site and looking for advice!  My daughter, 12, has mild ASD/Aspergers.  She's doing well and happy at School, is on the periphery of a "crowd" and likes  things NT girls often like, eg dancing, shopping, fashion, music etc.  However she doesn't really socialise out of school and would benefit from some new friendships/ interacting and sharing more with her peers, partly just to increase her interaction with the outside world, learn more about what her peers are into etc.  She knows she has ASD and is very self aware / interested in understanding more about herself and others similar to her.  I'd like to point her to some kind of online forum where she could message with similar children, but which would be age-appropriate (particularly as it would be difficult to constantly monitor what she was seeing and saying), so aimed at 12 to 14 year olds rather than older children, but where she could really 'be herself' and talk openly about her condition with peers who will understand.  Does anyone know of anything out there?

 

Secondly - as she is my eldest child and I have a lot to learn about the teenage years generally, I'd love to buy a 'manual' on 'every skill your child should learn before they are 18' in terms of life skills, general knowledge etc!!  I don't want to look back and think 'I wish I'd spent more time teaching her to do X, or showing her Y, when she was younger'.    Is there one?!!

 

thanks in advance xx

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collectingrocks

I don't know of any specific forums dedicated to pre-teen/young teen but I think there are plenty of books/manuals out there of what traits to look for in young teens, and specifically girls. Do a google/Amazon search - there are lots out there especially as AS is becoming better recognized in girls (where traditionally, it was thought of as more of a boy thing)

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(deleted)

I think there are plenty of books/manuals out there of what traits to look for in young teens, and specifically girls. Do a google/Amazon search - there are lots out there especially as AS is becoming better recognized in girls (where traditionally, it was thought of as more of a boy thing)

Your advice will be well received, I am sure, however the poster of the thread is looking for a book explaining what a neurotypical girl should know by the age of 18 not a book about AS traits in girls.

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RiRi

I don't know if there are manuals out there that explain 'every skill your child should know before they are 18', but I read Willow Hope's The Other Side and I think it does a good job in explaining what people with Asperger's might struggle with that NTs might not. She has a section for advice after every chapter. You might find her book helpful. About the forum, I'm not sure if there are any out there for younger children. You could research, there might be. 

Edited by Anna

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Whoknows

This coud be a good place. The only problems here are when people get really upset and start posting frantically about it, but it ain't very common.

 

There's one thing I'd like to tell you: Don't worry too much about her being on the far side of the crowd. Just don't try to isolate her for her age. If what you said can accounted for, too, she'll start looking for other places, and maybe you might not like them, but she will. Though she might have not "reached maturity", she'll grow up just as you did. After all, friends can be found anywhere.

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Buffwyn

If you want she could probably talk to me ( don't know how yet). I'm 12 also. I have high functioning aspergers.I was diagnosed in august so I'm still getting the hang of accepting that it's my life now. I'm here to help some how.

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PossibleAspie

Well, I have a particular deficit in emotional maturity, which means I do not respond well to criticism. I'm not very sure how well that'll go over when I'm eighteen. Does your daughter struggle with that?

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lifeis
On ‎23‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 1:51 AM, Butterfly88 said:

http://wrongplanet.net/forums/ Is an ASD forums and they have sections for kids and adolescents.  

 

I've tried wrong planet and found it a bit of a mess at the time. I personally wouldn't recommend it and know of a few other members on here who also wouldn't. (my experience of the site was several years ago so it may have changed but asperclick has always had more of a community feel to me).

I honestly think that this forum would be the best one for a young girl out of all the forums I've seen but there can be a lot of negativity and very adult subjects (suicide etc) even on here. If I had an aspie child I'd probably keep her away from forums and instead try to encourage socialising in the real world, perhaps in groups/clubs which cater to their needs. I'd instead let her watch aspie youtubers such as Theanmish (whom I highly recommend for child friendly content that still tackles the difficult aspects of ASD also I think she has a video which covers reading material for aspie teens/children) so that she doesn't feel isolated/alone in the issues she's having. If I were to let her use a forum it would only be while supervised.

but I've not got children and would possibly be overly protective if I did as personally I don't think any online forum is particularly child appropriate.

Edited by lifeis

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