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StormCrow

Single or Not, I have no clue

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Alex
Every girl i meet, i treat her as if she has a boyfriend already. Why?  well, You act more natural with people when you know there off limits, so they see the real you. You can relax more, talk to them without asking prying questions, and you build a good friendship. 

 

Worst comes to it, she is taken, but if you have already assumed she is taken, you won't worry about it. Plus, you've made a good friend, which leads to more friends, through her friends. 

 

If she isn't taken and she likes you, then you've already broken the ice, so there's no need for awkward first dates (I've had a few awkward ones in my time) So you can then from there, enjoy care free dating, no stress, no drama, no disappointments. 

 

Hope this makes sense???

Sounds like a good strategy.

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Ben
Sounds like a good strategy.

 

Nah, this is how i really do it:

 

cool-gifs-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7ba

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Alex
Nah, this is how i really do it:

 

cool-gifs-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7ba

LOL! What the hell...

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Willow
Sounds like a good strategy.

I agree, very well said :)

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Anxious

If you need to know if they are single or not because you fancy your chances with her , my advice is to just approach her with almighty confidence and just ask her outright...apparantly women love to be approached and desired so nothing negative will happen. My problem is that i go really red.

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Ben
If you need to know if they are single or not because you fancy your chances with her , my advice is to just approach her with almighty confidence and just ask her outright...apparantly women love to be approached and desired so nothing negative will happen. My problem is that i go really red.

 

Only problem i can see, and that is if it goes really wrong, you may never recover from it psychologically. Even a NT person will have some sort of 'game plan' Wooo the girl first, make her feel wanted that way, rather than going up to her like a kid in a playground. 

 

Make sure they see your best bits. (no not those) but all the bits that make you, you. Talk, be polite, respectful at all times, and as i said above, assume she's taken already, that way you'll be even more natural. 

 

In time, it will be an inevitable exchange of numbers, and it will flower from there. (if she's not taken) but if she hasn't mentioned a boyfriend at this point i'd be pissed. And you would have right to be. 

 

The rest should all follow, and if the above doesn't work, then i really have no idea, you must be staring at her chest too long. 

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Jeff

Yeah she probably is then. My suggestion is to take things slow and just chat with her... as often as you can and as often as you both want to, and how much you can fit in your schedules. My boyfriend and I knew each other for just under a year when we became "official." (and a couple months after that, we met for the first time in person) I was more hesitant than him to start a long distance relationship.. I hadn't ever even been in a relationship before. Show her you're interested, but try and be understanding and accepting if she doesn't want to move fast. Get to know each other, ask questions about each other. Share with her some things that have happened in your life and how you got to where you are today. Also talk to her about what you might not be good at as well as what you are, to help her see you are a real person. Also, I know I was hesitant to accept my boyfriend liked me at first, because I had pretty low self esteem. So if you find you really really like her, just try and be understanding if she just wants to be friends for awhile. Build up the relationship, become best friends. If you are both feeling like more, start a relationship. But give it time, especially if you are both shy. :) I found talking online first was really good for my relationship with my boyfriend, because it helped us be more open with each other sooner, and helped bring us closer together. I hope everything goes well for you :)

well I just asked her and she said no... I think I'm going to wait till tomorrow since its a little late here but say on her face book " the reason I asked if you had Skype was there's something about you from your pictures that looks a little interesting to me and I figured if you were open to it perhaps maybe we could get to know each other a little better. Through Skype of some voice and or video chat thing since I live in a different state then you." What do you think in regards to that? I know the last thing I'd want to do is come across as needy but that doesn't come across as needy does it?

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Heather
well I just asked her and she said no... I think I'm going to wait till tomorrow since its a little late here but say on her face book " the reason I asked if you had Skype was there's something about you from your pictures that looks a little interesting to me and I figured if you were open to it perhaps maybe we could get to know each other a little better. Through Skype of some voice and or video chat thing since I live in a different state then you." What do you think in regards to that? I know the last thing I'd want to do is come across as needy but that doesn't come across as needy does it?

I can't see how it would come across as needy.  Though maybe make sure she doesn't feel pressured or intimidated.  Maybe say something about.. if not now, maybe in the future sometime.. but I think that you should say something about why you asked, because she deserves to know that you find her interesting.  And how you said it there seems fairly polite.  But be careful of scaring her away.  I think if she said no about Skype, she might be nervous still, maybe has never used Skype or other video chat before, and so more getting to know each other and making her feel safe and comfortable is ideal.  Though also let her know that Skype has voice chat if she feels uncomfortable using both video and audio at first.. And then once she and you can talk for a bit and have warmed up to that.. because it can be quite intimidating at first.. then suggest video again.  Just try and reassure her that you don't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable but you would like to get to know her better. I wish you luck.  Take it slow and steady, I think you'll be okay.

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Willow
I can't see how it would come across as needy.  Though maybe make sure she doesn't feel pressured or intimidated.  Maybe say something about.. if not now, maybe in the future sometime.. but I think that you should say something about why you asked, because she deserves to know that you find her interesting.  And how you said it there seems fairly polite.  But be careful of scaring her away.  I think if she said no about Skype, she might be nervous still, maybe has never used Skype or other video chat before, and so more getting to know each other and making her feel safe and comfortable is ideal.  Though also let her know that Skype has voice chat if she feels uncomfortable using both video and audio at first.. And then once she and you can talk for a bit and have warmed up to that.. because it can be quite intimidating at first.. then suggest video again.  Just try and reassure her that you don't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable but you would like to get to know her better. I wish you luck.  Take it slow and steady, I think you'll be okay.

Agreed.

Just don't ask too often about video chat. If she says no another time, then sort of just say that when she feels comfortable with the idea, to let you know - so that you're not pressuring her. :D

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