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DragonWing

30+ adult diagnosis

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CrohnicallyAwkward

It's made a huge (positive) difference. My mental health has always been up and down, I tried various talking therapies and drugs but I'm finally on an antidepressant that works for me. My family are more understanding of me. I'm more confident in who I am. I think most work colleagues were already making allowances for me but it's nice to have the legal protection the diagnosis gives you, especially as I changed teams and was having difficulties with one particular person making complaints against me. I'm still struggling with parenthood, but I'm learning to make adjustments and take care of myself which is helping.

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DragonWing

I'm finding it positive in a similar way

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DragonWing

Have you found it to be a positive thing?

Has the diagnosis had much affect on your life.

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Anxious

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

 

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered  LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

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Nesf

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

 

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered  LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

What does LD mean?

 

I don't like hairdresser small chat much, but I agree that it's good to have some scripts or things to say to people to get along with them.

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No Longer Here

What does LD mean?

I don't like hairdresser small chat much, but I agree that it's good to have some scripts or things to say to people to get along with them.

I believe LD = Learning Disability

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No Longer Here

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

Hi Anxious

I did the opposite. I was diagnosed at 51. I decided to be totally open about it.

Now if I am getting overloaded I say exactly that and excuse myself for somewhere quieter or request the conversation reconvene later.

Only one person has ever thought that Asperger's means that I have barely functional intelligence. She was drunk and her mate wanted to clout her when she said it. She made a complete fool of herself.

I now refuse to have these little scripts of smalltalk (I used to do that all the time) as I realised that although I didn't know about my Aspieness I had been acting the role of being normal. Trouble is that I had been failing in that role and people thought I was odd. It is such a relief to stop doing that. People accept me as I am or step aside. I prefer just to have people who genuinely care about me around.

Edited by Andy R

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DragonWing

I have been being very open so far and getting good responses and new friends who accept i may blank them in the street but know not to take offence.

I do try with the small talk phrases and I have a few but often feel silly using them.

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