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MrGrey

I miss my daughter but I cant stand her right now

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MrGrey

  I have a 10yo girl that I adore.  I haven't seen her in like 2 months.  I miss her with all my heart, I'm dying to see her.  

 

  Some years ago my ex was living near this couple, friends of the family.  They became my girl's godparents and all.  I worked with them and all on a small shop for a few months, considered them good friends.  But I could not stand it when they talked about a few things they believed because, with me being an all logical aspie, I just can't stand BS.  And I need to give at least one example, so that you could better understand what's going on between my daughter and I.

 

  The godmother had 2 kids from a previous marriage.  One of them was on special ed (I'm not sure what he had).  That day the kids were playing minecraft and the godfather (stepfather to those kids) was flipping out.  He's Hispanic, I don't know how good his English is.  But he started arguing that minecraft was a mind-control program, designed to control the minds of kids.

 

  "Just look at him! He's spending hours on that game!  Like his hipnotized!  Even the game's name says it... MINDCRAFT! MINDCRAFT"

 

  I left that day because I could not take the failed logic.  Didn't tried to correct my friend because he's one of those alpha-wanna-be males who "are never wrong".  I did, however, thought long about why some people always tend to demonize things they don't like.  See, there's a difference between saying "I don't like My Little Pony", or saying "My Little Pony is dumb", or even saying "My Little Pony makes people dumb".  People are entitled to like and dislike things, and even to find things "dumb" or "stupid" for their taste. But what's the deal with that attitude of preaching doomsday for those who enjoy the things they dislike.

 

  It feels like they are saying "I don't like <insert something you like here>.  You should not like it either, for I am the alpha, the path, the only truth, and you must follow or you will become dumb and stupid".

 

  And what that has to do with my little girl?  Well, the godparents broke up.  The godmother seems to have realized that is OK for her boy to play minecraft... idk, I don't really know the story for that breakup.  But somehow, my ex ended getting knocked up by my daughter's godfather.  So now the guy is my daughter's father in law or something, and when she comes here, she is like a little tape recording, playing on a loop all those "truth words" that she learns daily from the alpha-wanna-be step-daddy.

 

  Last time she was here my wife had spongebob playing on the TV.  And my little girl started arguing:

 

  "SpongeBob is not a good program.  It was supposed to be an adult program, but kids started buying the merchandise and the company that makes it, decided to market it to little kids.  That show makes kids stupid.  And people who watch that show, they become stupid.  And this is true because my stepdad said so".

 

  It pains me inside that my little girl doesn't have enough neurons yet to analyze everything that's wrong with that statement.  And I have great difficulty restraining myself from jumping in and calling out the BS.  That would only make the little girl change the statement to something like "Stepdad is wrong because my Dad said so", which is just as pointless.  She needs to think for herself.

 

  As soon as I find a way for myself to cope with my daughter's constant repetition of the BS she learns at her mum's, I'll start bringing her over for the weekends.  But I need to figure this out because she keeps repeating all this BS, offending people left and right in the process, and then I get obsessed about it, which affect my job, my life, etc.  

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AutismUnrestricted

Its ok to feel like that. I understand.

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veearrell

  

 

  "SpongeBob is not a good program.  It was supposed to be an adult program, but kids started buying the merchandise and the company that makes it, decided to market it to little kids."

 

   

 

To be fair, the stepdad is actually correct about that. Stephen Hillenberger (sp?) has said that it was indeed aimed at grownups and that the first movie was supposed to be the series finale, then Nickelodeon yanked the show away from him and continued it against his wishes and since he didn't own the rights there was nothing he could do about it. Phineas And Ferb was also intended for adults according to its creators, but Disney treated them much better.

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MrGrey

To be fair, the stepdad is actually correct about that. Stephen Hillenberger (sp?) has said that it was indeed aimed at grownups and that the first movie was supposed to be the series finale, then Nickelodeon yanked the show away from him and continued it against his wishes and since he didn't own the rights there was nothing he could do about it. Phineas And Ferb was also intended for adults according to its creators, but Disney treated them much better.

 

No no no, he's not correct.  He's engaging in the mistake of taking a fact and using it to twist actual reality.  Viagra might have been designed originally to lower your blood pressure.  But we don't get to say it is a blood pressure medication, do we?  

 

Same here.  Sponge-bob might have been conceived as an "adult show"  (with emphasis on might).  But that's not what it is.  It's a kid's show.  Besides, who knows if the creators just said that to earn a few extra interviews, create controversy, draw attention to themselves or whatever.  

 

Personally, because I actually knew the guy long before he had anything to do with my ex, I know what's on his mind.  He probably learned that on some magazine, believed it as true (because duh, must be true, it's on a magazine).  Then came to the conclusion that the show is an actual adult show, and that there's a conspiracy to sexualize kids using the show.  Kinda like his other theory of mindcraft being a mind-control program run by Europeans to brainwash american kids.  He's impressionable like that, can't see past the BS on yellow journalism and tends to believe it and act upon it.  

 

On the other side, my daughter used to be pretty BS resistant, even at her young age.  She was the kind of girl that would question everything.  It was a surprise to see her using a "because xyz said so" line, as proof of anything.  She just got into a "special/advanced" elementary school, marketed as an "engineering" school of the sorts.  But it seems to me she's just following the rules of the herd... getting told what to do, doing it.  I've never seen her showing any real engineering skills (think Tinkerbell).  Not like my boy.  He might have his grades in the gutter, but oh my! he can figure stuff up like a baws.  I guess time will tell.  Maybe she will surprise me.  I hope she does.  I'm happy she's getting good grades and all but idk, I don't see the passion, the curiosity, the thirst for knowledge that I see on the boy.      

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veearrell

For what it's worth, I empathize. I really do. My niece used to be very bright and curious about everything and I was thrilled when she said she wanted to be a scientist when she grew up. Then her mom fell in love with this horrible fundamentalist christian guy and soon enough he was filling her head with all sorts of bigoted, anti-science nonsense. The boyfriend is, thankfully, gone for good now (a long story which I won't go into here), but I worry that the damage has already been done and if she's ever deprogrammed in the future it'll take a long time and be an incomplete job at best. My niece still says she wants to be an archaeologist, but at this point I assume she means she wants to try and "prove" the bible is "true" using "evidence". I've lost her and I hate it and I will NEVER forgive my sister for that. Ever.

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