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Miss Chief

People Walking Behind You

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Miss Chief

First of all this has been on my mind a little while and I can't remember if I have already posted this? I can't find it anywhere so sorry if this is already here!

 

So there was a question on this quiz:

 

Aspie-Quiz

 

Q58: Do you dislike when people walk behind you?

Q82: Do you like to follow (walk behind) people you are attached to?

 

So obviously strangers are sometimes behind me in shops and stuff and that doesn't bother me too much unless I feel like they are actually following me I seem to be quite aware of people behind me.

 

However, that isn't what I am talking about I am talking about when I am with someone like my mum or my boyfriend and for some reason we can't walk side by side I always try to be the one behind and my boyfriend will like try to make me go in front even though I resist this and this makes me really angry, I never really thought about it much other than to try and tell myself how completely unreasonable I am being. Then I saw that question and I was like OH is this an AS thing?

 

Do others have this issue? I haven't ever come across this until I saw that quiz?

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Astrid-Red

Yes, this really resonates with me. I have always disliked people being behind me and much prefer to be at the back of any group I'm a part of. It makes me very nervous and agitated when I'm walking and people are following after me. I'm not always sure why. I think often it's because I feel a strong need to see everything so I don't like it when I know that someone is near me but I cannot see them.

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RiRi

Yes, I have this issue. I don't like when people that I know and we're walking together, walk behind me. I don't know why, but for some reason it makes me anxious and it makes me even more anxious when I turn to see which side they are and  they're not there. Then I turn the other way and they're not there again. It's frustrating really. Maybe it is an aspie thing. I guess I also don't like it when anyone walks behind me, I usually let them pass in front of me.

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Primeape

I hate when people walk behind me i tend to stop and pretend im texting someone just so they walk past

Im not sure why this happens

Edited by DebzMata08

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PandaPrincess

Yes!  This is an issue I have all the time.  I don't like when the shops are busy this time of year because of the fact that people can walk up behind me all the time.  Also, when my dad and I are going somewhere, and we have to enter a door or something like that, he always tries to get me to go first, but I always refuse to go first.  He also makes things more complicated when he keeps telling me to go first, and then he won't move.  I stand still until he finally gives up and goes first.  He always causes a scene by acting angry when I won't go first, and it makes no sense why.  I guess he either has the same problem as I do with being in front, or he sees the situation as being in control of the other person.  It's very frustrating  :unsure:.  

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Echo

I hate it when people walk behind me, strangers or not. It makes my skin crawl. As others have said,this may be because I can't see the other person and thus, can't judge what their motives are. However, even when the paranoia doesn't "cross my mind", I still have a physiological reaction, much like finger nails on chalkboard. I get the same feeling of unease when people walk on the wrong side of me. For instance, I prefer to walk on the left side of the person/people that I'm with. Idk why this is. It has always been like this since I can remember. If I'm with a large group, I prefer to be at the back, on my own if possible or on the left side of a small group or partner etc. Possibly the left side thing has to do with the fact that I am predominately right-handed and it is easier, more comfortable and makes more logical sense to turn right to talk to people rather than to the left. Again, I'm not 100% sure. The having to be the last person to leave the room can be a pain to explain to others, they don't get it, even if I keep it simple and say that it makes me uncomfortable. This is especially true when someone holds a door for me or pulls out a chair for me etc. But, from a a survival point of view, makes sense. 1. You can see everything that is happening in front of you and 2.providing there is no cahnce of danger from the back, are protected by a shield of multiple other bodies. :)   

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storm-petrel

I also hate it when people walk behind me regardless of whether they are friends or strangers. I always scuff my feet more or suddenly seem to be unable to walk in a straight line.

 

When I am out hillwalking with my friend I much prefer to be behind if the path isn't wide enough for us to walk side by side. Often she tells me to go ahead but then I am constantly looking around trying to assess where she is in relation to me.

 

 

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Nesf

Yes, me too. It freaks me out when strangers walk behind me, and if I'm out with my partner or a family member, I tend to follow them. I always let me partner go into shops first or friends' houses first - I think this is partially due to social anxiety because I want him to do all the greetings and social stuff first, then I just copy what he does and says. I tend to want to avoid social formalities and chit chat. I wasn't even aware of the following thing until my mum pointed out to me that I do this, and she told me that it made her feel that I wasn't really 'with' her. I had no idea!

Edited by Nesf

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thegingerone

Same here.  I really don't like people walking close behind me.  On my way to the bus stop in the mornings, I often get people walking close behind me if they are going to the same stop, which really bothers me.  And then on my way home in the afternoon, there is this one kid who always runs across the road after getting off the bus to get in front of me, but then slows down to a pace which is a lot slower than my walking pace, meaning that I have to be really close behind him, which I also don't like doing.  So now, I've got into the habit of trying to stay in front of him, but of course, he still runs and ends up directly behind me.

 

So, if I'm not in a hurry to get to the bus stop or to get home and someone who I don't think is threatening me walks closely behind me, I purposefully slow down, so they will either overtake me, or learn a lesson not to walk behind people.

 

As for being with people, I also do the same with making other people go through doors etc before me.  I also never thought of this as being an aspie thing, but I guess it makes sense, since being first into a room makes me feel really socially awkward etc.

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pipistrelle

I seem to naturally end up at the back if I'm walking in a group, I like to keep a bit of distance so I can see what's going on and also so I don't feel like I'm right in the middle of a group social situation.

But I tend to lead if I'm in one-to-one situations and feel comfortable, it feels like I'm more in control.

 

When it comes to strangers I don't mind if I'm being followed, I might glance behind if I feel I'm in an unsafe area but that's about it.

 

But what seems to be the worst is people approaching from the opposite direction. I know they're there but I don't know if I should look at them or not and so I just pass them looking like an uncomfortable mess (I'm super-aware it's rude to stare at strangers, but at the same time they're approaching me and I'm internally begging to not be spoken to as well x.x , I have no idea where to look!).

It's even worse with people I recognise - they know and I know our paths are crossed but I can't seem to look at their faces and I make an obvious effort to look away as if I haven't noticed  ... I feel the same awkwardness I get when with eye contact so that probably has something to do with it.

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