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Sofi

Speech

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Nesf
I know exactly what you mean about when in a stressful situation, losing the ability to speak. I do that too, where I just seem to stop talking. It's as if I forget talking is something that is possible, it's just forgotten about. This is called 'selective mutism'. It was written in one report I got at school.

I also seem to forget talking is something that is done, in a social situation. I think if I hear someone talking to me, it doesn't really occur to me to speak back, but it's just something I've learnt that I should probably respond, to be polite! 

 

With the thing where people with AS/Autism talk a lot, I know I am guilty of that sometimes, despite all my inhibitions with talking. If I am talking about an interest (Greece, or a game) I will be able to go on about it for ages, but I rush it and it probably doesn't make much sense to people. I only really do that to my mum, because I'd have to be comfortable enough talking to the person. 

I'd read about selective mutism, but didn't know if what I do was selective mutism or not.

 

I talk a lot more about things I'm passionate, too, but these are mostly subjects which are well rehearsed in my mind, I've thought about a lot and have set things I say about them and I tend to lecture people. My difficulties are when someone asks me a question about something I haven't contemplated, then I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes someone says something to me and I don't realise I'm being spoken too and people think I'm deaf or something.

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spiderwoman0_2
Out of interest are any of the words you have trouble with begin with R ?

No, I can't say the word brewery for love nor money and there are a few more that I can't think of at the moment.

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Toran
No, I can't say the word brewery for love nor money and there are a few more that I can't think of at the moment.

Its awful when its like that you never know when the words going to come up in public and you end up looking stupid in front of people. It cant be helped and its not our fault really its the conditoon however but all people dont see it as siccgy

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Sofi
I'd read about selective mutism, but didn't know if what I do was selective mutism or not.

 

I talk a lot more about things I'm passionate, too, but these are mostly subjects which are well rehearsed in my mind, I've thought about a lot and have set things I say about them and I tend to lecture people. My difficulties are when someone asks me a question about something I haven't contemplated, then I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes someone says something to me and I don't realise I'm being spoken too and people think I'm deaf or something.

 

It could be selective mutism - regressing to not speaking in a stressful situation, but I think it's more of an extreme thing, than just not talking for a while. When I was a child and just started talking really, I'd stop talking for a few weeks sometimes or I went through phases of only talking at home and not saying a word at school or anywhere else. The teachers used to not believe my mum when she told them I was talking fine at home, because I was not at school.

 

Yes - I tend to lecture too but I don't particularly like to be interrupted and questioned throughout it. It's like I have a planned speech in my head and I don't really like to be interrupted or say anything aside from what I want. I know that's bad though and I know a conversation is a two-way thing! I don't like the unexpected question thing if I haven't planned a response well and I hate to be put on the spot like that. I'll usually plan a lot of phrases for public and just say those that are practiced. 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I can't say the word brewery for love nor money and there are a few more that I can't think of at the moment.

 

I can't say burgler. I never have been able to! 

I do have trouble with 'r' sounds in words though, it comes out like a 'w' sound with me. 

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iggy

While you're discussing selective mutism, I want to take the opportunity to moan about how stupid the name "selective mutism" is. If people don't know much about it, then they can assume that selective means the person is choosing not to talk, but they aren't choosing, it isn't "selective" it's forced mutism, since the person can't choose to start speaking again!

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Toran
While you're discussing selective mutism, I want to take the opportunity to moan about how stupid the name "selective mutism" is. If people don't know much about it, then they can assume that selective means the person is choosing not to talk, but they aren't choosing, it isn't "selective" it's forced mutism, since the person can't choose to start speaking again!

Thats a good point it isnt a voluntary thing at all. My dad always used to say I was dumb struck when I was growing up I wouldnt speak to people if they spoke to me. I got better as I was growing up but it still happens now to a degree if im in a meeting or struggling to understand something and people expect an answer.

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Sofi
While you're discussing selective mutism, I want to take the opportunity to moan about how stupid the name "selective mutism" is. If people don't know much about it, then they can assume that selective means the person is choosing not to talk, but they aren't choosing, it isn't "selective" it's forced mutism, since the person can't choose to start speaking again!

 

I see what you mean, I think. I don't know if I understand! lol. I think it's called 'selective' because the mutism happens in response to select situations, like particularly stressful or traumatic events, not any situation....

But yeah, it definitely isn't a choice and it is involuntary to stop talking. It just kind of happens! 

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Nesf
It could be selective mutism - regressing to not speaking in a stressful situation, but I think it's more of an extreme thing, than just not talking for a while. When I was a child and just started talking really, I'd stop talking for a few weeks sometimes or I went through phases of only talking at home and not saying a word at school or anywhere else. The teachers used to not believe my mum when she told them I was talking fine at home, because I was not at school.

 

Yes - I tend to lecture too but I don't particularly like to be interrupted and questioned throughout it. It's like I have a planned speech in my head and I don't really like to be interrupted or say anything aside from what I want. I know that's bad though and I know a conversation is a two-way thing! I don't like the unexpected question thing if I haven't planned a response well and I hate to be put on the spot like that. I'll usually plan a lot of phrases for public and just say those that are practiced. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't say burgler. I never have been able to! 

I do have trouble with 'r' sounds in words though, it comes out like a 'w' sound with me. 

The particular incident lasted about an hour and it scared my mum because I wouldn't answer her and she called the doctor. I think I was too overhwhelmed to speak.

 

I remember another incident when I was small. I'd been taken to some kid's party when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was supposed to say "thank you" when leaving, but I didn't, so my mum was trying to make me say thank you, and I still didn't, I don't know why. I got into big trouble for it afterwards.

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Sofi
The particular incident lasted about an hour and it scared my mum because I wouldn't answer her and she called the doctor. I think I was too overhwhelmed to speak.

 

I remember another incident when I was small. I'd been taken to some kid's party when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was supposed to say "thank you" when leaving, but I didn't, so my mum was trying to make me say thank you, and I still didn't, I don't know why. I got into big trouble for it afterwards.

 

I can understand why you would be too overwhelmed to speak. I think my mum wouldn't be as phased as your mum was by you doing that, she is quite familiar to me picking and choosing when to talk or not!

Yeah, I can imagine you got in trouble for not saying "thank you". I remember at parties I was prompted to sign "thank you" rather than say it out loud. Most parties or things I went to as a child were from other kids from school on the spectrum, so the parents understood! Even when I did talk, I'd obviously still not want to speak to someone I didn't know, I remember just running away and hiding a lot of times. 

 

 

~~~

 

Here is what I used a lot at school to communicate when I didn't talk, PECS, if anyone doesn't know what it is: http://www.pecs.org.uk/general/what.htm

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Nesf

^^ i still do run away and hide when someone I don't know comes to the house, it triggers a fight or flight response. This just happened about 30 minutes ago :(

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