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Nesf

Difficulty understanding humour

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Dingo
2 hours ago, Nesf said:

I think that if I'd been asked that question, I'd have answered with Einstein or Tesla or Stephen Hawking, or something like that...wait, I remember that I liked Heather Couper, because she was a well-known female astronomer in a mainly male dominated domain at the time, and I was really into astronomy when I was a kid.

At the time, the only one of those people I had heard of was Einstein, but I didn't know anything about him or why he was famous. 

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PandaPrincess

Yes, I have trouble with humor a lot, especially banter and teasing because I always take it seriously.  I think that when people are being sarcastic, they are generally being mean and having a bad attitude.  I also hate it when people  wind me up on purpose.  Unfortunately, it happens a lot <_<.  

The other day, when I went to the doctor, the doctor told a joke about how he stayed in a holiday inn express last night, and he's a doctor. I didn't get that joke at all, and my mom even took it literally, and she told him "I bet you had a fun time." :lol:

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Nesf
6 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

Yes, I have trouble with humor a lot, especially banter and teasing because I always take it seriously.  I think that when people are being sarcastic, they are generally being mean and having a bad attitude.  I also hate it when people  wind me up on purpose.  Unfortunately, it happens a lot <_<.  

The other day, when I went to the doctor, the doctor told a joke about how he stayed in a holiday inn express last night, and he's a doctor. I didn't get that joke at all, and my mom even took it literally, and she told him "I bet you had a fun time." :lol:

I'm afraid I don't understand that joke at all, could you please explain it to me?

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Pinky and his brain
8 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

Yes, I have trouble with humor a lot, especially banter and teasing because I always take it seriously.  I think that when people are being sarcastic, they are generally being mean and having a bad attitude.  I also hate it when people  wind me up on purpose.  Unfortunately, it happens a lot <_<.  

The other day, when I went to the doctor, the doctor told a joke about how he stayed in a holiday inn express last night, and he's a doctor. I didn't get that joke at all, and my mom even took it literally, and she told him "I bet you had a fun time." :lol:

 

2 hours ago, Nesf said:

I'm afraid I don't understand that joke at all, could you please explain it to me?

Not being from the US, and never been to a "Holiday inn express", I would guess that the joke is about the reputation of the Holiday inn express.

Maybe they are known to be a bad place with hygiene problems. "So he stayed there against better knowledge", since he's a doctor, he should know that the place is bad for health. Or, it's about being upper class, but staying in a cheap place. (Doctors usually make a lot of money).

I don't know if that is what the joke was about, but I can't think of any other way this could be understood. :)

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PandaPrincess
19 hours ago, Nesf said:

I'm afraid I don't understand that joke at all, could you please explain it to me?

Apparently, there were a series of commericials about the holiday inn express, which is a hotel, and the point was to show that people who stay there are extremely intelligent and capable, so they are like doctors and lawyers and people like that.  I still don't get how the joke is funny though.  My mom thought that the doctor actually did stay at the holiday inn express, and she told him that she bet he had fun.  I think she said that because hotels usually have swimming pools, and they're associated with vacations.  

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Extraterrarian

I think I understand most humor, and I like to laugh. I usually understand sarcasm, but I sometimes think that people are being sarcastic or making a joke when they're not, based on if what they're saying seems improbable or unlikely.

I used to hate teasing, and I remember my dad teasing me for long stretches of time so I could "get over it". I think it was a terrible method. But now I know (learned through other sources) that teasing can be a way of expressing affection, as long as the person actually likes you and isn't trying to be offensive.

Sometimes I think I laugh at things no one else finds funny. I'm overall a cat person but have a dog now, and everything she does is hilarious to me. Sometimes when I'm walking her, I just start laughing at the sudden "dogly" enthusiasm, the dolphin leaps, things like that. They seem so outrageous to me compared to cat behavior.

I think it's interesting that so many people on the thread like British comedies. I like them too and prefer them to American comedies, though that's what I grew up with. I think it has to do with having a sense of absurdity in life, rather than relying on punch lines, which aren't so funny. It relies on poking fun at illogical things, or things that make no sense. I feel at home with it.

 

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PandaPrincess

@Extraterrarian, my problem is that sometimes I can't tell whether or not the person is teasing me because they like me and want to be friends or they don't like me, and they are picking on me.  

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Extraterrarian
3 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

@Extraterrarian, my problem is that sometimes I can't tell whether or not the person is teasing me because they like me and want to be friends or they don't like me, and they are picking on me.  

Yes, it's difficult. If you know someone for a while, it's easier to tell. If someone you don't know well teases you, and they strike up friendly conversations with you, they're teasing because they like you.

If someone teases you, laughs, and then leaves/ignores you, or most of their talk with you is teasing and one-sided, then it's usually bullying.

If you ask someone to stop teasing you about a certain thing, but they keep on doing so, it's bullying.

If someone tells you "not to be so sensitive" and keeps teasing you, it's bullying. If it upsets you, you always have the right to tell them to stop, no matter what the person's intention is.

Text is much easier, because it's easier to indicate joshing or teasing with an emoticon (;P). I tend to prefer that to in person teasing.

I hope some/any of that was helpful. In the end, all I can say is you don't have to like being teased for any reason if it's upsetting.

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Extraterrarian

Sorry for the second post. I'm still trying to figure out how to edit posts here. This is something else I found. I likeI how it draws a distinction between teasing about things you can change (usually good natured) and teasing about things you can't change (bullying).

It might help in knowing what the person's intent is. But even so, if it bothers you, you have a right to tell them to stop.

I think some NT's assume that Aspie traits are intentional and something that can be easily changed, or they see shyness aloofness (which can be changed if NT) when it's just a missed social cue or not knowing how to respond. So when people tease about things like that just to get a reaction, it hurts.

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Nesf
6 hours ago, Extraterrarian said:

I think it's interesting that so many people on the thread like British comedies. I like them too and prefer them to American comedies, though that's what I grew up with. I think it has to do with having a sense of absurdity in life, rather than relying on punch lines, which aren't so funny. It relies on poking fun at illogical things, or things that make no sense. I feel at home with it.

 

I agree with what you say here about British comedy. I think this is why I generally prefer British comedies over US ones.

@PandaPrincess I also have difficulty telling whether a person is teasing me because they like me, or whether they are doing it to make fun of me. I agree with what Extraterrarian says about continuing to tease someone when they are obviously getting upset by it. There's a big difference between laughing with someone and laughing at them. I was bullied a lot in this way when I was younger.

Texting is definitely easier, as long as the other person thinks to put the emoticon after the joke and not rely on me to pick up on it through context - because 9 times out of 10 I won't. Unfortunately some people don't, even here on this ASD forum, and I end up extremely embarrassed.

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