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Mimo

Grocery Stores!

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Gone away

@Nesf Sorry, the latter is one of my terms

Rat race = common term meaning stressful competitive life = serious, hard, ruthless, high stress

Egg and spoon race = short childs fun event often at village fetes etc. = fun, easy, bit of a joke, not too serious, low stress.

The contrast between the two being extreme. Before I learned the systems remembering short lists was very stressful. After learning the systems there was zero related stress ... the 'remembering' bit was actually fun ...

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Mimo
12 hours ago, Alice said:

I write a lot of lists and and frequently reorganise/tidy to counteract being absent-minded, doesnt always help - like being in a store, I pretty much have to chant what I need continuously in my head because as soon as I look up from my list its gone with all thats going on around me. Or if I go to a cafe or restaurant I like to look at the menu online or read reviews so I know what to expect and what is good to order. Some have photos that show the general layout - I really feel like it helps with general orientation in a new place. I like trying new things but I like to make it easier, and remove as many unknown things as possible so I can enjoy the experience.

When I shop without a list I often chant the items to, but I also LOVE patterns and can usually arrange the items in alphabetical order, or maybe they all start with the same letter,etc. If all else fails usually if I can remember the number of the items I need I can more or less remember the items and therefore can be seen walking around the store holding up 3 fingers so I can remember I need 3 things!

I also like to look up menus before going to restaurants. I am notorious in my family of either taking literally forever to order (as in after everybody else already has their food on the table), or having a complete meltdown because I couldn't figure out what to order. I also have a health condition that influences what and how I eat so looking up nutritional information if/when it's available is a must. I often go into a restaurant all prepared to try the new item I saw online and then my brain just kind of freaks out and I end up ordering something old instead. 

New is sooooooo stressful!!

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Alice
8 hours ago, Going home said:

Have you ever looked into the simple basic mnemonic systems like number rhyme or number shape? ... a lot of stress magically dissipates once used and the problem you highlight ceases to exist.

This is pretty interesting, I had a look online. I have a list with me at the store when the main grocery trip, its just being in this environment that makes focusing really difficult - as soon as I look up from the paper - ive forgotten, I guess it would be easier if its stuck in my mind using a pneumonic even if the store environment is still throws me off my focus a lot. I will actually have to try this and see if this will work - I will definitely try it for when going in for just a couple of things so I dont have to keep repeating it to myself. Thank you
I think I do this intuitively for my studies, I am always converting the material into images and diagrams, either in my mind or on paper, Its very permanent. It could be very useful - although Id worry I may never forget my list - even when im 90 (haha).

 

 

4 hours ago, Mimo said:

When I shop without a list I often chant the items to, but I also LOVE patterns and can usually arrange the items in alphabetical order, or maybe they all start with the same letter,etc. If all else fails usually if I can remember the number of the items I need I can more or less remember the items and therefore can be seen walking around the store holding up 3 fingers so I can remember I need 3 things!


I usually write my list based on the layout of the store which is really helpful - ive gone there for years, just sucks when I go to a different store - then I spend ages looking at the signs or backtracking (dislike- I like to be as quick as possible, it just gets worse as time goes by). I do the numbers one for small errands/grocery trips too.. I too end up waving my held up fingers in front of me trying to recall the last few items but I get there.

I completely agree, new is so stressful, and really increases the odds of something going wrong, but, certain things are worth it. I wouldnt want to miss out on the things I love or trying new things that im likely to love. I save them for rare and fairly planned occasions. I would rather go and try something new, even if it means, I have a moment, or people look at me weird. For me, its worse doing something new/overloading when its not something you like (groceries, or a required social engagement). I still go to the museum, art galleries, gardens, cinemas, old bookshops, cafes/restaurants, especially new ones (although i'm very picky about the kind - I have specific dietary preferences/restrictions also). I go alone, bring a book/headphones and go on a day I feel good, and stay in the quiet parts of these environments, sometimes it goes really well, sometimes not, its cut short or just doesnt go well/as planned. Its so much nicer to go alone because I dont have to deal with social information on top of the actual places (and the small parts of interaction required - waitress, ticket cashier or something). I went to the museum last week (there was a da vinci exhibition) and an art gallery and it didnt go that well, it was just a bit too much for that day. I only go once a week/fortnight to one of these but I wouldnt give it up. Its still fun and it makes me feel more normal doing these things even if I dont manage for the whole time (maybe that sounds contradictory but..)

 

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Mimo
11 hours ago, Alice said:

I usually write my list based on the layout of the store which is really helpful - ive gone there for years, just sucks when I go to a different store

Haha! I do that too! If I don't I get all mixed up and tend to forget something. I started using a meal planning website that creates a grocery list online. I love the website but the grocery list was in a different order than what I was used too. I thought about re-writing it but that was just too much work. It took me 2-3 weeks to adjust but now I love that list even though it's not in the easiest order. In my area the major grocery store chain has an app and when you make a grocery list on the app it tells you what isle to find the item in and how much it costs! I use this when I go to different locations or when I can't find something. A huge life saver. 

I think what has really helped overall is 1) being diagnosed with Aspergers, 2) accepting the things that are hard or frustrating 3) having multiple options to deal with the triggers and 4) most importantly having an understanding and supportive husband!

I can't believe how different my grocery shopping is now compared to how it used to be!

12 hours ago, Alice said:

completely agree, new is so stressful, and really increases the odds of something going wrong, but, certain things are worth it.

So true! For me this is an area that is very slowly getting easier to navigate. What makes it difficult sometimes is that the family members who are aware of my new diagnosis don't really understand/believe/know what to do with it, and non of my in-laws know about it. This means I have to keep my stress/meltdown/extreme discomfort/etc completely hidden and adds a lot of stress the situation. I'm trying to create some code words or phrases between me and my husband so he can support me in those moments and avoid making a scene. I just haven't quite figured out what things will work to calm me down when I am headed for a meltdown in public. Stifling it (if possible) just leads to multiple severe meltdowns once I'm home.

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spiderwoman0_2

There's a simple answer to grocery shopping.............do it online and have it delivered :D I do that every week.

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No Longer Here

My wife knows how much I struggle in supermarkets so she does the bulk of the shopping for us. Sometimes I have to accompany her. I cope by putting in earplugs and running errands to the far side of the store and back. This keeps me occupied, constantly on the move and significantly reduces the amount of time we spend there.

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RiRi

Well, it looks like I'm getting used to wearing sunglasses, so hopefully this will be a new utensil in my favor when going out. I haven't read all the posts, but from the ones I've read, I also make a list when going grocery shopping and it's based on the location of the store. If I come in through the wrong end, then I just reverse the list. Also, I usually tend to get the same things all the time. I should try online grocery shopping one day and see how it goes. It sounds a lot more convenient, but having to think that I'll have to interact with someone who carries my groceries can be scary.

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Alice

I wouldnt want to get my groceries online. Theres this parable about a man who tries to escape the noise of the city by retreating to a cave in the mountain to meditate and is driven out by the 'extremely loud' sound of water dripping in the cave --> or something like this, its meant to illustrate that your sensitivity will often adjust. So its more a matter of what you want to be doing while experiencing your sensitivity. 

I like tips for making things less stressful, simplifying tasks, improving focus, memory, and making things more manageable but I dont want to continually narrow my range of what I can do. Ive been going grocery shopping a couple times per week, instead of once per week which has limited the pressure to get everything I need for the week, and not forget anything, so that has been good, and the trip is much shorter each time.

I got an email from luminosty today about this memory method which I though was quite good, and very visual which works for me- could use it for groceries plus its coming up to exam time for me.

 

Used by the ancient Greeks, the “memory palace” technique is based on the fact that people have a far better memory for the tangible (physical spaces, images) than the abstract (numbers, words, ideas).

1. Build your own “memory palace”

Used by the ancient Greeks, the “memory palace” technique is based on the fact that people have a far better memory for the tangible (physical spaces, images) than the abstract (numbers, words, ideas). 

To create your own memory palace, pick a familiar space and populate it with vivid representations of whatever you want to remember. The odder these images, the better. 

Let’s say you need to buy a bag of oranges, then pick up a dog at the pound. Picture walking into your house. Now picture an orange-skinned man standing on your TV wearing a bag as a hat (that’s your bag of oranges). Then mentally travel to your bathroom, where you see a tiny one-pound dog sitting on a scale. You’ve now created a “memory palace” that will make your to-do list very hard to forget.

 

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Gone away

@Alice Its nice to see someone with an interest in mnemonics. Another name for the memory palace is the Roman room. Other easy systems are the number rhyme and number shape. A more ambitious system is the major system. There is useful cognitive improvement and stress reduction in using these systems. Creative visual mindmaps can also help.

Quote

I wouldnt want to get my groceries online

I am very fussy about sell by / expiry / use by dates. Also fussy about the condition of fruit and veg, also the grain and freshness of meat. I will walk away if I don't like what I see. I'm not ready to entrust someone else to this. I shop almost every day as shops are within a mile. It simplifys things and gets me out

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Nesf
8 minutes ago, Going home said:

I am very fussy about sell by / expiry / use by dates. Also fussy about the condition of fruit and veg, also the grain and freshness of meat. I will walk away if I don't like what I see. I'm not ready to entrust someone else to this. I shop almost every day as shops are within a mile. It simplifys things and gets me out

Same here, I don't buy food products online for that reason, apart from being more expensive and I'm not sure if it's available where I live anyway.

Edited by Nesf

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