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Willow

Having Children

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Willow

I never wanted children until I met Chris and visa versa, but now we both want a couple or three cutey pies someday. I'm wondering if they'll have Aspergers, seen as we both do - but then at the same time, if they do - I'm thinking about not bothering too much about it. Me and Chris are high functioning and have managed without any help as such so...if they're like us, I don't think there's any point going through all the crap I/we went through to get a diagnosis.

I've always got on really well with children - they just seem to really like me, and I find it really easy to play with them and interact with them etc. I'm 7 years older than my brother, so I was fully aware of him as a baby and none of the crying or sick or anything bothered me - and his constant trashing of my room during the terrible twos didn't get to me too much either. I think I'm quite a tolerant person.

 

I know some of you have children or are having children - how do you cope? Are your kids Aspie as well? 

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Ben

If, and that's if, they have aspergers, then what better parents to have than you two. Takes an aspie to know an aspie. Unless, there born with tentacles, blue skin, and there cyclops' i wouldn't worry too much. 

 

If they have the attitude like you do, were you embrace your aspergers, then naturally your children will follow suit, and not see it as a disability. 

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Stressmonster
I never wanted children until I met Chris and visa versa, but now we both want a couple or three cutey pies someday. I'm wondering if they'll have Aspergers, seen as we both do - but then at the same time, if they do - I'm thinking about not bothering too much about it. Me and Chris are high functioning and have managed without any help as such so...if they're like us, I don't think there's any point going through all the crap I/we went through to get a diagnosis.

I've always got on really well with children - they just seem to really like me, and I find it really easy to play with them and interact with them etc. I'm 7 years older than my brother, so I was fully aware of him as a baby and none of the crying or sick or anything bothered me - and his constant trashing of my room during the terrible twos didn't get to me too much either. I think I'm quite a tolerant person.

 

I know some of you have children or are having children - how do you cope? Are your kids Aspie as well? 

 

I can assure you that the level of functioning you guys display will make you good parents. You will grow into the role and the routines will naturally fall in place as the kids grow. They start out basically just pooping, eating and sleeping. So one has good time to grow with them and get the routines in order gradually as they get older. And the fact that you guys know about your diagnosis beforehand is a big pluss. I had all three kids before knowing about my diagnosis and that made things hard to cope with.

 

All three of my kids have certain traits but it's only the 7 year old boy who is under "the loop". He has gotten an ADHD diagnosis and is awaiting getting ADOS testing done on him cause he is a little... mr. centre of the universe and nothing is ever his fault. It's always the other peeps fault. He wants to decide everything, make rules for everything, misunderstands peoples intentions and so forth. But he is also an extremely happy boy and i understand him very well.

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Akirasugoineko

I cant cope well with the multitasking and the stress and emotions that comes with being a parent. Thou I am very good with playing with children and they love me. But I can only be around children a few houers. Then I just meltdown. 

 

I have a 4 year old son. I see him at his mothers place 4 times a week. A few houers at a time. 

 

Being a parent is incredible hard and frustraring aswell as rewarding and lovely. Some people deal with it better then others. Regardless of having a diagnos or not. 

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Heather

I want children some day.. and some days I feel like I could be a good mother today.. but most of the time I'm realistic and I'm very scared about being a parent.  I like children but have realized I get very anxious around them, I don't want to hurt them in any way or interact with them wrong.  When I'm at family gatherings with my cousins who have kids, I tend to just observe, smile and laugh at their fun.. one of my cousins has a son with autism (PDD-NOS I think).. I think I have a strong desire to be a mother though.. though I'm nervous I'd be way too overprotective, which is why if I have any, I have to have more than one! lol My boyfriend and I have decided two is a good number.. we'll see how that works out.  Although I have moments when I get a bit "baby crazy" and feel ready to have one now.. possibly when I see other babies around.. or like recently a couple girls I work with got pregnant... I then think about in all the ways I am not ready for a baby.  I need to learn everything about pregnancy and parenting.. but also there's the factor of needing us to have good finances to be able to have a good place to live and raise our children and be able to provide very well for them.  Also my boyfriend is very anxious for me to have to go through the whole pregnancy and birth part, and says he'll feel guilty for doing that to me!  But he also wants children too... just got to wait a few more years!

 

I think that it would be a benefit for a couple where both people have AS to have children with AS because then they can better understand the children's needs I think.

 

I do think that you Willow and Chris would make good parents, especially if your kids have AS like you both. :)

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Willow

I feel that I would be able to settle into a routine of raising a child - once we have our own place. For us it's just waiting around for our finances to be okay, which then means we can get a house and get married - then we can seriously think about children.

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StormCrow

I have no children.

I'm like Capatin Picard on Star Trek, when it comes to children.

 

but, everyone one says I'm a great teacher for children (I was an assistant instructor, and Also teach for my Dragoon regiement)

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Sofi

I would not be able to deal with having my own children because of my autism unfortunately but i would like to, i quite like children.

 

Also, I would never be able to speak to a boy long enough to get to know etc to be in the position to conceive a child!

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iggy

I would have thought - if they turn out to be "normal" then it would be more difficult, seeing as you lack that perspective you probably haven't experienced some normal behaviours, although nothing comes to my mind as an example right now...

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Willow
I would have thought - if they turn out to be "normal" then it would be more difficult, seeing as you lack that perspective you probably haven't experienced some normal behaviours, although nothing comes to my mind as an example right now...

Yes I agree, although, they'll probably 'catch' AS, in a way lol :(

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