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Willow

Having Children

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Heather
Yes I agree, although, they'll probably 'catch' AS, in a way lol :(

Yeah I think that I agree with this that even if the children didn't have AS, they'd probably develop a lot of the traits with both parents having AS.  If for some reason an AS couple has a child that doesn't have it, and wants to be social.. that would probably be more of a challenge.. haha! 

 

 

I would not be able to deal with having my own children because of my autism unfortunately but i would like to, i quite like children.

 

Also, I would never be able to speak to a boy long enough to get to know etc to be in the position to conceive a child!

 

I don't think you necessarily have to not have children because of your autism.  But I don't know how much it affects you.  Also I do not know how old you are.. because even I at 22 do not think I'd be ready to have children until a few years time at least... not to mention that my boyfriend and I want to be in a good financial place to be able to support them.

 

And in response to the other part, I was incredibly shy around anyone when I was younger - especially boys.  I would get so self conscious that they'd perceive me looking or talking to them as me liking them.. especially when I got to the teenage years.  And I went through many times when I'd think I might be single forever, and many times when I didn't want a boyfriend.  But then I had those moments when I thought it would be so nice to have one.  And then I met my boyfriend online and we were friends first and then started a relationship and things changed.  Though I'm still a little bit nervous talking to guys, my confidence has improved a lot since I met my boyfriend. 

 

I just thought I'd share so you know that even if things look like they'll happen one way.. you never know what will happen. :)  Of course, please don't take this the wrong way.. I don't know if you would or if there is a wrong way this can be taken really.  I just sort of identified with it in a way as a feeling I sort of felt a few years ago or so.  I just thought I'd share.  I hope this isn't confusing or too long and rambling.  If it is, I'm sorry. :(

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Willow
I just thought I'd share so you know that even if things look like they'll happen one way.. you never know what will happen. :)  Of course, please don't take this the wrong way.. I don't know if you would or if there is a wrong way this can be taken really.  I just sort of identified with it in a way as a feeling I sort of felt a few years ago or so.  I just thought I'd share.  I hope this isn't confusing or too long and rambling.  If it is, I'm sorry. :(

 

I agree. Whilst we don't know how much Sofi is affected by her Autism, I think it's easy to be stuck in a certain frame of mind and not be able to see past it, at all. I know I've certainly done that before. I never thought I'd want a boyfriend - even though I was more comfortable with boys than girls because I felt my interests were more boyish; this just led to my males friends falling out with me eventually though because I didn't want more than a friendship.

I'm engaged to Chris, but I turned him down a couple/several times in the space of the 4 or 5 years that we knew each other - then I said yes because he was coming round to see me every day and he's sweet and he loves me a lot (he always has <3 ) XD

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Sofi
Yeah I think that I agree with this that even if the children didn't have AS, they'd probably develop a lot of the traits with both parents having AS.  If for some reason an AS couple has a child that doesn't have it, and wants to be social.. that would probably be more of a challenge.. haha! 

 

 

 

I don't think you necessarily have to not have children because of your autism.  But I don't know how much it affects you.  Also I do not know how old you are.. because even I at 22 do not think I'd be ready to have children until a few years time at least... not to mention that my boyfriend and I want to be in a good financial place to be able to support them.

 

And in response to the other part, I was incredibly shy around anyone when I was younger - especially boys.  I would get so self conscious that they'd perceive me looking or talking to them as me liking them.. especially when I got to the teenage years.  And I went through many times when I'd think I might be single forever, and many times when I didn't want a boyfriend.  But then I had those moments when I thought it would be so nice to have one.  And then I met my boyfriend online and we were friends first and then started a relationship and things changed.  Though I'm still a little bit nervous talking to guys, my confidence has improved a lot since I met my boyfriend. 

 

I just thought I'd share so you know that even if things look like they'll happen one way.. you never know what will happen. :)  Of course, please don't take this the wrong way.. I don't know if you would or if there is a wrong way this can be taken really.  I just sort of identified with it in a way as a feeling I sort of felt a few years ago or so.  I just thought I'd share.  I hope this isn't confusing or too long and rambling.  If it is, I'm sorry. :(

 

 

 

I agree. Whilst we don't know how much Sofi is affected by her Autism, I think it's easy to be stuck in a certain frame of mind and not be able to see past it, at all. I know I've certainly done that before. I never thought I'd want a boyfriend - even though I was more comfortable with boys than girls because I felt my interests were more boyish; this just led to my males friends falling out with me eventually though because I didn't want more than a friendship.

I'm engaged to Chris, but I turned him down a couple/several times in the space of the 4 or 5 years that we knew each other - then I said yes because he was coming round to see me every day and he's sweet and he loves me a lot (he always has <3 ) XD

 

I say I would not be able to deal with having children because of my autism, I know this is true and people who know me think that too. I would like to have children but because of my behaviours because of my autism, it really wouldn't be a good idea. Sorry I am not very good at explaining things. Maybe if my behaviours and social skills to talk to people improved, it MIGHT   be a possibility. Like if i happened to meet the right person.... at the moment, that just seems  very far fetched to me!! I would really like to meet someone though.

At the moment, people tell me I often act like a child so I wouldn't be a very responsible parent at the moment !  

 

You don't need to say sorry  squeeker, I don't even know what you would be saying sorry for .... I often have trouble understanding! 

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Willow
I say I would not be able to deal with having children because of my autism, I know this is true and people who know me think that too. I would like to have children but because of my behaviours because of my autism, it really wouldn't be a good idea. Sorry I am not very good at explaining things. Maybe if my behaviours and social skills to talk to people improved, it MIGHT   be a possibility. Like if i happened to meet the right person.... at the moment, that just seems  very far fetched to me!! I would really like to meet someone though.

At the moment, people tell me I often act like a child so I wouldn't be a very responsible parent at the moment !  

 

You don't need to say sorry  squeeker, I don't even know what you would be saying sorry for .... I often have trouble understanding! 

I was still acting very childlike up until a couple of years ago. Sometimes I still do, but I control it, if that makes sense. It's more of a silly personality trait. You're still only young - there's so much time yet to meet someone, mature etc and have kids :D But don't give up :P

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Sofi
I was still acting very childlike up until a couple of years ago. Sometimes I still do, but I control it, if that makes sense. It's more of a silly personality trait. You're still only young - there's so much time yet to meet someone, mature etc and have kids :D But don't give up :P

 

Yeh, I know what you mean, I have a  silly personality and sense of humour  :) Thanks, I hope I can get to meet someone, the best chance for me would be online because I am rubbish at talking to people I don't know in person. 

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Willow
Yeh, I know what you mean, I have a  silly personality and sense of humour   :) Thanks, I hope I can get to meet someone, the best chance for me would be online because I am rubbish at talking to people I don't know in person. 

I met my fiancé online :D

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Sofi
I met my fiancé online :D

 

Where about online? :) 

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Willow
Where about online? :)

We spoke on MSN :) We had a mutual friend though.

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Heather
I say I would not be able to deal with having children because of my autism, I know this is true and people who know me think that too. I would like to have children but because of my behaviours because of my autism, it really wouldn't be a good idea. Sorry I am not very good at explaining things. Maybe if my behaviours and social skills to talk to people improved, it MIGHT   be a possibility. Like if i happened to meet the right person.... at the moment, that just seems  very far fetched to me!! I would really like to meet someone though.

At the moment, people tell me I often act like a child so I wouldn't be a very responsible parent at the moment !  

 

You don't need to say sorry  squeeker, I don't even know what you would be saying sorry for .... I often have trouble understanding! 

Okay I wasn't sure, I just wanted to include the sorry.. I just got a little nervous that maybe it could've been taken a different way something I said but I wasn't even sure what or if it could be. I'm glad you didn't see anything, you read it like it was intended then! :)

 

I met my boyfriend online too.  I wouldn't have been able to meet him any other way because he lives in the UK, so we're maintaining a long distance relationship for now, I've visited him a few times, he's going to come here one day, probably end up moving here eventually (Canada), and I'm visiting him again this summer!  While it's difficult to be in a long distance relationship now, I believe the online chatting we did at the beginning really helped us learn about each other safely and grow more comfortable with each other.  We had about a year of talking online before we became "official."  I won't go on and on about it though because that's not the topic of this thread. :D But I just like talking about it haha.  We actually met on that "AspieAffection.com" site but it's a smaller site which has a few glitches in it.. We were really lucky to meet I believe. :)

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Sofi
Okay I wasn't sure, I just wanted to include the sorry.. I just got a little nervous that maybe it could've been taken a different way something I said but I wasn't even sure what or if it could be. I'm glad you didn't see anything, you read it like it was intended then! :)

 

I met my boyfriend online too.  I wouldn't have been able to meet him any other way because he lives in the UK, so we're maintaining a long distance relationship for now, I've visited him a few times, he's going to come here one day, probably end up moving here eventually (Canada), and I'm visiting him again this summer!  While it's difficult to be in a long distance relationship now, I believe the online chatting we did at the beginning really helped us learn about each other safely and grow more comfortable with each other.  We had about a year of talking online before we became "official."  I won't go on and on about it though because that's not the topic of this thread. :D But I just like talking about it haha.  We actually met on that "AspieAffection.com" site but it's a smaller site which has a few glitches in it.. We were really lucky to meet I believe. :)

 

That is good you met him and can have a long distance relationship. I would also feel more comfortable talking to someone online, I feel I would get to know the person more than in person. I have not heard of that site, maybe I will have a look on it. 

:) 

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