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RiRi

Dislike Being Watched

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Eli

Being watched is one of my biggest pet-peeves. I worked at Starbucks for a long time in college, and when I was making drinks on bar during our peak hours and completely inundated, people would crowd around the hand-off plane and stare at me while I worked. It would make me so mad that my work would decline, because it was distracting. I would be ranting and raving in my head, "Sit your asses down, I'll call it when it's ready! This isn't a damn performance! You play with your phone when ordering, and when you're waiting, you put it down to stare. Ugh!" To this day, if I feel someone's eyes on me, I will leave if I can. If I can't, and I get upset enough, I will look back at them as long as it takes until they stop. It just registers as the ultimate offense. Babies can do it. That's it. Period. I don't know if it was ever about being judged exactly, because I haven't reflected deeply upon it. It just feels extremely invasive. I have likened it to an insect crawling on my skin. Because it actually gives me a physical sensation when I'm being watched. Especially if there's nothing I can do about it. It's like being tied to a chair and having a bug crawl all over my arm. It's disgusting.

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Sanctuary

I think most people - neurotypicals as well - are uncomfortable when being watched although the low self-esteem that afflicts many with AS probably means they suffer from it more often. On the other hand there is that small group of people who seem not only to be at ease being watched but seem to revel in it. Some of them are just not self-conscious or may think they can show others "how it's done". Occasionally they seem to be enjoying putting on a performance, aiming to show how skilled they are and how unfazed they are by the sorts of things that make most of us riddled with nerves. I do think there is something unappealing about this kind of showmanship which can be a form of arrogance. sometimes it also reflects an unhealthy situation where the "performer" believes they are above criticism or no-one dares to question their performance.

Having said all this all of us probably have times or people around whom we just don't feel self-conscious or anxious and feel comfortable being watched. It's not about arrogance or putting on a show - just feeling at ease with each other, not threatened by the other person's judgement, a genuine affinity and mutual respect. That is a nice place to be and I wish we could all feel it more often.

 

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Sinan2

well, I'll always be watching this site.....remember, remember, the coup.....

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Sinan2
27 minutes ago, Sinan2 said:

well, I'll always be watching this site.....remember, remember, the coup.....

I apologize, @Willow please delete this

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StarlessEclipse

For me, it depends on how well I know the person and how confident I am that they trust and respect me. If I feel that whoever is watching is just an unassuming person who's interested in what I'm doing, that's fine. It only becomes a problem when I suspect that the person watching thinks I'm incompetent because of my often unorthodox ways of doing things. In school, I was always being "corrected" by teachers who thought I was making some sort of mistake when I was simply doing whatever the task was in a more efficient way they hadn't thought of. That assumption of intellectual incompetence offends me and makes me deeply uncomfortable. I tend to associate people watching me with this, and that's where my unease stems from.

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RiRi

Yup. Still hate being watched. :rolleyes: I wish I was invisible so that I would know for sure that no one is watching me.

Edited by RiRi

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