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Nesf

How social are you?

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Toran

i struggle in noisy environments too. I find it hard to seperate out seperate sounds or voices.

Yes thats right i have the same problem and have even been tested for it. My hearing range was fine but when it was intermingled with other voices or noise i cant pick it up. They dont know what causes it but it is a known complaint. That was many years ago so maybe they have had some advancements in that time i dont know.

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Nesf

Yes thats right i have the same problem and have even been tested for it. My hearing range was fine but when it was intermingled with other voices or noise i cant pick it up. They dont know what causes it but it is a known complaint. That was many years ago so maybe they have had some advancements in that time i dont know.

That's caused by auditory processing problems.

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BarneyRubble

I have always found myself drawn to people who are different or more mature. I find people like this more intelligent, more interesting and easier company. When I was growing up, I stuck to that rule and I was OK, and within that, I could take or leave friends. Mutual interest is a must, without that it's hard work and I can't see the point.

 

The, popular, in crowd, type of people have always been a mystery to me and they have never interested me. Ironically, I have alway looked upon this type of person's need to be accepted by the group, and popular to be a weakness of their's. I actually think its really sad for them. I have alway look upon my independence, individuality, and my ability to function without the desire to please other's as my strength.

 

As a teenager, I became self aware. I kept my usual safe male friends, but interactions with the opposite sex were awkward and led to disappointment. I couldn't rely on having things in common with girls. I found that despite a girl would fancy me, as soon as it started to go somewhere, I would be awkward, wooden, and would miss all the hints, body language etc for it to move on. For some reason at this time I took astrology book from my Mum's bookshelf and started to read my own sign. I agreed with most of what it said about my character. So I obsessively read all the sign's in all the books she had. I became really interested in people, and the things they did, the way the acted. I was just keen to understand. The one thing that came naturally to everyone else, I attempted to learn. I would watch people and their interactions. Given the right circumstances I would even ask people question about their relationships, and not because I was interested in their wellbeing, but just because I needed more knowledge (looking back now, in my innocence, I asked some really inappropriate questions, but people almost always answered them). This period in my life helped, me socially. I learned social interactions. I have made a point of learning body language, to help me along. I still dislike talking to people I think I have nothing in common with. I can't do small talk, and I can't show interest in something, or someone that doesn't interest me. And I just don't really bond with people (that's not to say I can't, it just takes years and trust), but that's just me.

 

Now I'm married with children, I have little interest in seeing people outside of my family. My friends are the husbands of my wifes friends, and I don't go out of my way to see them and we are not close, they just turn up with their wives. Happily they are all a bit different like me. It's nice having a NT wife, as socially, she kind of carry's me. The difficulty has been keeping her.

 

In thinking about this post, I have realised that I am also drawn to VARY NT people. The no nonsense fiery types, that call a spade a spade. The sort of people that when they are happy, sad, or angry you know, More sensitive people often avoid these types, but I'm not that sensitive, and I think they are great because I can read them. Most of the women in my family are like that. And also my one work mate. Now he can by Mr angry, but never with me, I'm a calming influence on him. He has less stress here at work with me than he dose at home. We have a lot in common, we both love motorcycles, and when we go for a ride together, he dose all the small talk (and he will literally talk to anyone). Result!!! :lol:  

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HenryVIII

I don’t seem to have friends but I have a lot of NT acquaintances, especially associated with my special interests.

I spend a lot of time with NTs doing my thing and to many people I come across as a socialable  person but in reality I am pretty useless.

I am ok whilst I am enjoying my interests but as soon as it stops everyone wants to have drinks or a meal and I have to get out of there.

My best coping strategy when I simply cannot get out of a social occasion is to limit myself to either 30 minutes or an hour and then I make my excuses and leave.

I do get the feeling that I am withdrawing more and more from social events, with acquaintances and family and I wonder how far I will actually go to cutting everyone off in the near future.

It is hard to explain but I don’t want to cut off but it seems inevitable.
 

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Nesf

I have always found myself drawn to people who are different or more mature. I find people like this more intelligent, more interesting and easier company. When I was growing up, I stuck to that rule and I was OK, and within that, I could take or leave friends. Mutual interest is a must, without that it's hard work and I can't see the point.

 

The, popular, in crowd, type of people have always been a mystery to me and they have never interested me. Ironically, I have alway looked upon this type of person's need to be accepted by the group, and popular to be a weakness of their's. I actually think its really sad for them. I have alway look upon my independence, individuality, and my ability to function without the desire to please other's as my strength.

 

Ditto this! I've never understood this herd mentality people have, as I've never felt the need to follow the herd blindly. I do my own thing. Nearly all the friends I've had were people who for one reason or another didn't fit in, or had less cliched opinions about things.

 

I don’t seem to have friends but I have a lot of NT acquaintances, especially associated with my special interests.

I spend a lot of time with NTs doing my thing and to many people I come across as a socialable  person but in reality I am pretty useless.

I am ok whilst I am enjoying my interests but as soon as it stops everyone wants to have drinks or a meal and I have to get out of there.

My best coping strategy when I simply cannot get out of a social occasion is to limit myself to either 30 minutes or an hour and then I make my excuses and leave.

I do get the feeling that I am withdrawing more and more from social events, with acquaintances and family and I wonder how far I will actually go to cutting everyone off in the near future.

It is hard to explain but I don’t want to cut off but it seems inevitable.

 

I do this too. I either make an excuse not to go at all, or if I can't get out of it, like a family wedding or something, I stay a short while and make an excuse to leave. In  Greece I can't really go to these functions anyway because they are way too loud and smokey.

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blacktiger911

to be truthful......no.

i don't want to open myself up to problems' don't want to make a friend just to be turned on.

i would talk a lot more but that literally got me stabbed one day. I was talking to some one (at school) in the classroom and this kid sitting across from me gets up walks over pulls my arm across the table stabs a pen into my arm and tears. I did not go too deep thank god.

after that i talked less became more distant stopped trying to make friends (I had just taken this kid to the principles office to set things striate thinking we just got off on the wrong foot and then he did that) the friends I did have moved away one by one and I finally gave up.

and here i am today.

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Nesf

to be truthful......no.

i don't want to open myself up to problems' don't want to make a friend just to be turned on.

i would talk a lot more but that literally got me stabbed one day. I was talking to some one (at school) in the classroom and this kid sitting across from me gets up walks over pulls my arm across the table stabs a pen into my arm and tears. I did not go too deep thank god.

after that i talked less became more distant stopped trying to make friends (I had just taken this kid to the principles office to set things striate thinking we just got off on the wrong foot and then he did that) the friends I did have moved away one by one and I finally gave up.

and here i am today.

:(  It's unbelievable the things people will do out of jealousy or whatever that was... I was once physically attacked for no reason by another girl in the schoolyard, but she came off worse than me, and she didn't try it again.

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StormCrow

 a little too late in the thread, but...

 

I guess I'm social, I go out more than my sister and she is very outgoing,

Once I left High School I never really got any new friends (people my age at least)

 

I mostly go out because I find the world hilarious. Maybe it's my anthropological side

but, it's amazing to observe people.

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Babadakad

During my years in school I actually tried to fit in somwhow but grew tired of it fast as I got abandoned very quickly because I was and am too "exhausting", always offending people and not knowing why, doing things that were perfectly normal for me but not for those around me.

Now I basically am a shut-in with one close friend I see every few weeks or months and three or four contacts I learned to know through MMOs.

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Toran

During my years in school I actually tried to fit in somwhow but grew tired of it fast as I got abandoned very quickly because I was and am too "exhausting", always offending people and not knowing why, doing things that were perfectly normal for me but not for those around me.

Now I basically am a shut-in with one close friend I see every few weeks or months and three or four contacts I learned to know through MMOs.

I had the same experiences at school pretty much I was never included much and everybody avoided me if possible because of how I was. It wasnt the best time of my life and my adult life has gone the same way if im being honest its about excepting what you cant change I guess.

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