Jump to content
Nesf

How social are you?

Recommended Posts

Nesf

Yes, I wasn't included by my classmates in anything they did together as a group and I used to hang around a lot with a girl who was a bit like me. I still talk to her occasionally :) I remember being told off a lot for frowning by my mum, and i never understood it because as far as I was concerned i wasn't frowning! She seemed to get offended by me really easily without my knowing what I'd done, with the consequence that I would often try to avoid her, especially in the morning when I started getting up 30 minutes before the rest of the family just to have some peace and quiet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Toran

Yes, I wasn't included by my classmates in anything they did together as a group and I used to hang around a lot with a girl who was a bit like me. I still talk to her occasionally :) I remember being told off a lot for frowning by my mum, and i never understood it because as far as I was concerned i wasn't frowning! She seemed to get offended by me really easily without my knowing what I'd done, with the consequence that I would often try to avoid her, especially in the morning when I started getting up 30 minutes before the rest of the family just to have some peace and quiet.

I had similar experience when I was growing up, I used to find myself upsetting people all around me without knowing why. My mum dad were always telling me off for something I had done but I never understood why I was in trouble. This used to be worse sometimes than others and I spent a lot of my child hood in a kind of daze not knowing what to do for the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
coffeebean

I'm very social at work where I'm around people most or all of the time. At first it was because it was necessary, but I think it helps a lot with the lonliness without requiring the upkeep of friendships. My people skills have improved a lot since starting.

 

I'd like to have a social life, but I doubt I'd have the energy. I have two friends offline and I still need the occasional week or two of evenings all to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

I'm very social at work where I'm around people most or all of the time. At first it was because it was necessary, but I think it helps a lot with the lonliness without requiring the upkeep of friendships. My people skills have improved a lot since starting.

 

I'd like to have a social life, but I doubt I'd have the energy. I have two friends offline and I still need the occasional week or two of evenings all to myself.

i like doing things with people, such as going for a walk, watching a movie or playing a game, but the time spent with the person needs to be built round an activity. Just sitting and talking is extremely hard work and I can't relax.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Toran

i like doing things with people, such as going for a walk, watching a movie or playing a game, but the time spent with the person needs to be built round an activity. Just sitting and talking is extremely hard work and I can't relax.

Do you think that anxiety and depression can have an effect on how we are. I've never been comfortable with interaction but sometimes are harder than others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

Do you think that anxiety and depression can have an effect on how we are. I've never been comfortable with interaction but sometimes are harder than others.

yes, they are bound to have an effect, and a lot of ASD people have these too. i certainly have had both, and both lead to social avoidance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
coffeebean

i like doing things with people, such as going for a walk, watching a movie or playing a game, but the time spent with the person needs to be built round an activity. Just sitting and talking is extremely hard work and I can't relax.

 

I prefer that, too. There's always a default conversation topic if it's needed, and daily lives usually aren't too interesting. However, the other extreme, little to no communication, is alienating to me. Past a point it might as well just be me, and I think that's where I differ from a lot of other people on the spectrum. I didn't mind so much when I was younger, but eventually I started needing more and more communication to feel included and was less satisfied with video games and books.

Edited by coffeebean

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

I prefer that, too. There's always a default conversation topic if it's needed, and daily lives usually aren't too interesting. However, the other extreme, little to no communication, is alienating to me. Past a point it might as well just be me, and I think that's where I differ from a lot of other people on the spectrum. I didn't mind so much when I was younger, but eventually I started needing more and more communication to feel included and was less satisfied with video games and books.

I agree with this, i wouldn't like to lead the life of a hermit in a cave. I like to have a balance, and have a social Goldilocks zone of not too much, not too little, just right!

 

A trick i've always found useful in social situations is not to go alone, to be with another person who will do all the talking and take the pressure off me and i just listen, say the occasional yes or no or nod, but generally drift off into my own world until someone says something about a topic that I have a strong opinion on or find extremely interesting, in which case you won't shut me up!

 

Talking, especially on a topic I'm not interested in, is tiring for me, and I don't talk for long. I quickly tune out and become very bored of social situations based on talking alone, and not on activities. I become tired, frustrated and need to be on my own again, otherwise the frustration and exhaustion grows until i melt down.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
aspiesw

I'm fairly social in all honest, I have loads of friends, and a good group of friends, all of which I am in a Facebook message with where we keep in daily contact. Like most aspies though, I do like my solitude, I like being by myself, entering my own little world

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dakohi

Wow, this sounds pretty bad now.

 

But I'm not really social...at all. I mean, sure, I like to see my mum sometimes...

I have a friend that is kinda obsessed with me for some reason... but I find hanging out with her EXTREMELY boring (wow, soundinglikeatotalbitch alert).. but she has NO interest in anything I like!!! If she did, it would be a different story. She mostly just tells me how depressed she's been.

I have one aspie friend who I barely see but I chat to him on fb. I enjoy talking to him though, because we tend to just talk about Pokemon all the time...or meme-talk LOL

I have tried to mix with people like, going out with my sister when I was younger, to bars, with her friends, but I hated sitting around chatting to them. It was so boring, all I wanted to do was dance/drink lol

 

Ugh, I'm not TRYING to be difficult, if some NT came up to me in the street and started talking about pokemon or mlp or gaming or dogs or something I would probably be ecstatic and talk (albeit awkwardly) for ages!

 

But no.

It's just all chit chat, isn't it just?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.