Jump to content
Nesf

How social are you?

Recommended Posts

Sofi

All of my socialising is online, I do no offline socialising these days and that is completely fine for me, it is better this way for me anyway. If you don't want to put yourself in offline socialising situation for whatever reason, because it's difficult, then just don't. I have learnt not to put myself in a situation I know will be too stressful. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mary

All of my socialising is online, I do no offline socialising these days and that is completely fine for me, it is better this way for me anyway. If you don't want to put yourself in offline socialising situation for whatever reason, because it's difficult, then just don't. I have learnt not to put myself in a situation I know will be too stressful. 

 

I think this is valuable advice Sofi... if people aren't comfortable doing something they shouldn't necessarily feel they need to do it.  Although, if they want to gradually start more socialising that might work for them.  Gradually would probably be the key.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bruce

Yeah. There's just this cut off between inane chit chat, which isn't worth the effort & anything that seemed worth putting more effort into has hit too many brick walls. Since I'm supposed to put all that 'behind me', I can't carry on doing the same things & listening to them but there's no point going to such places, where they will keep talking about those things. It's such a shame, really! I think I'll have to do something drastic soon......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mary

Yeah. There's just this cut off between inane chit chat, which isn't worth the effort & anything that seemed worth putting more effort into has hit too many brick walls. Since I'm supposed to put all that 'behind me', I can't carry on doing the same things & listening to them but there's no point going to such places, where they will keep talking about those things. It's such a shame, really! I think I'll have to do something drastic soon......

 

Ok, but what I said was why not try to socialise with people that have another shared interest?  Like maybe about a hobby you have?  There's all sorts of clubs / groups around for people to join in, and that way their 'inane chit chat' might be more interesting to you, if it's about something you enjoy.

 

 

I think that people enjoy the chit chat thing as it means they have something to talk about, and they feel happy that they've shared certain information with friends / people they know.  It's not their fault they're into all that sort of thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bruce

That's what I was doing, for the main 'interest' I have? That's where it's all gone wrong! Unfortunately, I don't want to go to any groups for any other interests I have, anyway. I couldn't imagine talking about films, for instance, all evening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mary

That's what I was doing, for the main 'interest' I have? That's where it's all gone wrong! Unfortunately, I don't want to go to any groups for any other interests I have, anyway. I couldn't imagine talking about films, for instance, all evening.

 

I'm not trying to be funny here, but why ask for advice when nothing we say is ever good enough or deemed helpful?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bruce

I'm sorry about that - I obviously hoped we might just come up with something different? Sorry it wasn't obvious that I had been doing what you suggested for the last 10-15 years. Are there any other ideas? It's unfortunate that, really, there's nothing around here like an offline version of this forum!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sofi

There really is no magical answers though, no cure etc., that is just what it is like having an ASD. We can try a lot of things and they don't work, we will always struggle with some things and that's why I don't put myself in certain situations anymore. I've struggled with a lot of things and wished there was answers too. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mary

I'm sorry about that - I obviously hoped we might just come up with something different? Sorry it wasn't obvious that I had been doing what you suggested for the last 10-15 years. Are there any other ideas? It's unfortunate that, really, there's nothing around here like an offline version of this forum!

 

I think that church, if that's what you're referring to, is very different.  It's not really a 'hobby' that you'd sit and talk about.  I seem to remember that most people I know that went to chuch didn't really sit around talking about religion or church all day.

 

It's up to you as to what you want to do, or what you don't want to do, none of us can really help you with that.  We can only come up with suggestions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bruce

You're a lot younger, Sophie. I don't think I expected magic! Just thought people would expect a 38 year old to have heard the advice offered so far. And thought I'd covered how I'd tried those things. At the moment, as well, there's this move on panel to deal with, in getting accommodation. They will want some signs of offline life! And, obviously, oakers, I wasn't only talking with other Christians about 'religion' or 'all day'. But if we take away the stuff I'm talking about, it covers all the other things we'd do, too. Never mind, I'm very sorry I brought this all up yet again. Thanks to everybody for their efforts, though!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.