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Nesf

How social are you?

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Toran

Yah me too being social is hard because we don't pickup on body language or we don't stay on

Topic. I try so hard to fit in but get hurt cause people think I'm strange. I goto a lot of movies on my own or the zoo or book stores. Sexual relationships are hard too I seem to get my heart broken a lot. Colin

There are a lot of things that are extremely difficult i know but it is a case of excepting how you are for your own benefit not anyone elses. I know that's not easy but then you can adapt your life to your own needs and coming here is the perfect place to start.

I go to book stores a lot on my own i find that very nice actually and chose times that are going to be less busy so your not surrounded by lots of other shoppers.

People may think your strange but that's only their thoughts it doesn't mean you are does it. People are always talking about others in one way or another and criticism is always there whoever you are its more about the people saying it than the person they are talking about so you have nothing to feel bad about.

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Mike_GX101

Yah me too being social is hard because we don't pickup on body language or we don't stay on

Topic. I try so hard to fit in but get hurt cause people think I'm strange. I goto a lot of movies on my own or the zoo or book stores.

 

Yes I mostly go to the movies on my own too.  When I was younger it was harder because I suppose when I first left home I was much more vulnerable because not knowing anything about autism at the time I was blind to it and blind to my needs which I myself didn't even realise I had.  And so I just did things on my own and felt awkward because everyone else was in groups and always talking and I wasn't - even at the bus stop when I wouldn't interact with anyone.  I was so lonely and I suppose at that time when I needed the socialising to 'normalize' and 'humanize' I was going out on my own and getting awfully jittery during the breaks in the cinema when the lights go on and people queue for popcorn and the feeling of isolation eats at you and you wish the springed chair would just snap you right up and suck you down.  You wish the ground would swallow you up and you were gone from there.  And so you continue to feel on the edge of existence as like an observer.  Yes I've been there and I still go to the cinema on my own but I'm much better at coping with it now.  But it still gets me down from time to time.  I've just learned to deal with it and I've learned that we're all social creatures but autism is like a cage that binds and stifles your ability to interact and it hurts the soul.  It hurts you deep and until someone shows you the path you're blind to that hurt and that is when it gets you the most.  That is when autism is most cruel.

Edited by Mike_GX101

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Nesf

Yes I mostly go to the movies on my own too.  When I was younger it was harder because I suppose when I first left home I was much more vulnerable because not knowing anything about autism at the time I was blind to it and blind to my needs which I myself didn't even realise I had.  And so I just did things on my own and felt awkward because everyone else was in groups and always talking and I wasn't - even at the bus stop when I wouldn't interact with anyone.  I was so lonely and I suppose at that time when I needed the socialising to 'normalize' and 'humanize' I was going out on my own and getting awfully jittery during the breaks in the cinema when the lights go on and people queue for popcorn and the feeling of isolation eats at you and you wish the springed chair would just snap you right up and suck you down.  You wish the ground would swallow you up and you were gone from there.  And so you continue to feel on the edge of existence as like an observer.  Yes I've been there and I still go to the cinema on my own but I'm much better at coping with it now.  But it still gets me down from time to time.  I've just learned to deal with it and I've learned that we're all social creatures but autism is like a cage that binds and stifles your ability to interact and it hurts the soul.  It hurts you deep and until someone shows you the path you're blind to that hurt and that is when it gets you the most.  That is when autism is most cruel.

I spent all of my school years feeling like that, very isolated, and now I don't like socializing in groups because they are all talking and I'm not, I always feel on my own and I find it boring. It feels like watching TV, on the outside looking in.

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Caroline

I'm not social at all, I don't have any friend. I had one when I was 18, we were studying in different cities and we wrote each other a lot (letters, we didn't have computers)... then she committed suicide and I was so shocked it lasted one whole year for me to have the breakdown (during the exams... in fact during an oral exam, I began to cry in front of my Spanish teacher... She didn't understand, she told me not to worry, that I was doing well, I cried so much I couldn't explain her it had nothing to do with the exam). Since then I haven't had any offline friend.

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Nesf

I'm not social at all, I don't have any friend. I had one when I was 18, we were studying in different cities and we wrote each other a lot (letters, we didn't have computers)... then she committed suicide and I was so shocked it lasted one whole year for me to have the breakdown (during the exams... in fact during an oral exam, I began to cry in front of my Spanish teacher... She didn't understand, she told me not to worry, that I was doing well, I cried so much I couldn't explain her it had nothing to do with the exam). Since then I haven't had any offline friend.

That must have been awful :( and such a shock! Yes, it can take a while to hit you when something like that happens, a delayed reaction. Something must have triggered the memory during the oral exam.

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InsomniaDreams

My socialisation has nosedived in the past 3 years or so. I think it's becoming more and more of a mental barrier for me now.

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Andy

I was sociable tonight, I had a fantastic conversation with a lady who just happened to work with autistic kids, on leaving she said to me she hopes to speak again as she finds me very interesting to talk to.

 

I have talked with her in the past and she knows I am xxy where she since last time seems to have clued up a bit on it because she also wonders why autism seems to sometimes come with xxy for the school she works at there are three xxy apsies where their behaviour she asked me about where I sympathised with what they were doing because I was similar way back and still am to a certain extent where she said they despite their aspie diagnosi, they were nothing like typical aspies where this women looked at me and said I was nothing like a typical aspie either, where she is now wondering are we a sub set of aspergers or is it what constitutes autism is not that clear cut.

 

But anyway her husband is ADHD as is her eldest son she is surrounded by it but then she admits to being on the spectrum herself.

 

But we chatted about the meanings within David Lynch's  DUNE a lot and where Herbert was heading.

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Nesf

That must have been a very interesting conversation, Andy, it sounds she really understand you and listens to you. It's very rare that you meet someone like that.

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MrGlass

I've had the same core friends for about 20 years- and basically we like to get trashed together. Everyone so often we do go downtown occasionally. That said, I don't do much other than take intoxicants and roam around and blend in. I don't really approach people though.

 

Like Oakers, I'm better written than spoken. And it's not that I can't speak- if it's something I've rehearsed, or it pertains to business of some sort- I can usually handle it. It's spontaneity that I struggle with on the fly- especially in noisy environments as I do have auditory processing issues. It's truly exhausting.

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Nesf

I've had the same core friends for about 20 years- and basically we like to get trashed together. Everyone so often we do go downtown occasionally. That said, I don't do much other than take intoxicants and roam around and blend in. I don't really approach people though.

 

Like Oakers, I'm better written than spoken. And it's not that I can't speak- if it's something I've rehearsed, or it pertains to business of some sort- I can usually handle it. It's spontaneity that I struggle with on the fly- especially in noisy environments as I do have auditory processing issues. It's truly exhausting.

i struggle in noisy environments too. I find it hard to seperate out seperate sounds or voices.

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