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Differentisn'tbad

Totally Rejected by Family

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Nesf

I get on ok with most of my family members and they accept my Asperger's diagnosis, supported me when I was going through a rough patch, but I now live far away from them and they rarely speak to me. I feel like they have just forgotten about me - out of sight, out of mind. I once asked my younger sister why they hadn't contacted me for so long, and she said that it was because they were busy. It's hard to believe that they could have been so busy that they couldn't spare 10 minutes for a Skype call with me. They make excuses all the time, that they can't log on to Skype or something like this, but this is nonsense because I'm sure that had they really wanted to call me, they'd have found a way to do so. I also have an older sister who I never got on with, and who doesn't speak to me any more at all.

It sucks when family members reject you or distance themselves from you and when you have no one to talk to it can feel very lonely, it hurts. I find that being on this forum helps a lot and that I get a lot of understanding and support.

Edited by Nesf

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Differentisn'tbad

Thanks, friends! 

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Rainbowlife

@Differentisn'tbad I hope your family starts treating you more nicely, being rejected by friends is one thing but I can tell that being rejected by your family is worse.

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AspieFox

Just been diagnosed. I can't live independently due to a separate physical condition at the moment. My Dad thinks Asperger's Syndrome is just a personality type that can be changed with a different mindset. He told me that my problems with dealing with change is going to bring failure in my life. I only told him about AS during the assessment stage, as I had a melt down argument with him and he called my stimming and behaviour insane/nutter etc, so I told him I might have AS. now it's confirmed but I don't want to talk to him about it anymore.

My mum is a little more understanding, but she too thinks it's just a personality quirk. I've told them about brain scan research and it's a real serious thing, but it ends in argument.

I've felt desperate and depressed several times sine living with them.

I've met other Aspies online and there's a group I've found in real life, that meets at a cafe once per month. I just told my mum I am going this Saturday to the group to talk about things and she got angry, telling me that I'm obsessing and since I have 'high functioning autism' she things that I have no real problems, or not as deep as the reality is.

:(

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AspieFox
On 24/06/2016 at 3:43 PM, Differentisn'tbad said:

It's hard to overcome the loss of someone who is still alive, but that's exactly what I am going through. Neither of my divorced parents accept my autism. I have weird quirks, but don't we all? Just because my quirks might be different than other people's quirks doesn't mean I should be laughed at and made to feel inferior. I made the mistake of believing tormenting remarks made by my own mother and my father's SILENCE IS LOUD and so I sit in isolation. I strive daily to better myself by doing brain exercise in hopes I may one day be of value to someone. Still, that very disturbing voice shouts at me,"you're so stupid", and it has caused me to be like a turtle and shrink back into my shell. I can't continue in this manner because it's so damaging to my inner peace and joy is something that I can only hope to experience sometime before I leave this world. My biggest issue is turning negatives into positives, I have tried and tried to change the record in my head, but proven unsuccessful. 

You are not stupid! I know exactly what you mean about the silence being loud. I hate it. We have a hard enough time figuring out what the other person thinks, so if they don't talk, it's confusing. If the last thing they said was negative, then I will think they are still angry, worried, being difficult.

Are you able to leave and live somewhere else? Unfortunately, I can't due to suffering with ME (sometimes called CFS).

I also now feel like going into my she'll with my parents. I keep making a stupid mistake of opening up to them and then them getting angry or not being understanding.

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Little Guy
On 12/20/2016 at 2:55 PM, Aspergolfer said:

Rejected by family,  what should I do? 

Many of us slowly find our "true" family. We come from our family of origin but we can move towards a family of love.
See the family of origin as a cocoon to a butterfly. Part of finding your true family means moving past the negative and nasty people who people our past. It can be lonely during the transition but there are real people who will love you for the terrific person your are and whom you can love in return.
Meditation is a good thing to work on to help with the stress. Also during the mediation, you can work on visualizing on the kind of people you want in your true family.:)

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Melanie222

I'm really sorry you should go through all this, guys. The family members should be near at any time without any exception! I'm happy that my family loves me and my parents accept me the way I am, though sometimes I think they are lost on this issue (I was dignosed not long ago). I should say that whatever your parents do or say, you have to be strong and live your full lives. Come to your dreams in order to be happy in future! Maybe if you reach your goals, they will change their mind. 

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DavidTheWitch

Don´t worry once your grown up they will realize they need you more then you need them.

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