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Aspergolfer

Self - loathing

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Aspergolfer

Who struggles with self hatred after a big mistake? I do.

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Peridot

I don't. I don't really make mistakes I'd describe as big anyways. As long as you're truly doing your best you've got to cut yourself some slack at times.

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Heather

Yes I do.  It usually takes me awhile to let go of the mistake, replaying in my mind what I could have said/done differently.  I tend to over think and take other people's actions or comments too personally sometimes because obviously I didn't want to make a mistake and I don't want the other person to think I meant to do something wrong.

Over time I get through it, usually I will end up writing it out (either typing on the computer or with a pen and paper) because it helps me to organize my thoughts, but also feel like if I write it out, maybe I can also write about what I could do different in the future to avoid making the mistake again.  Also it helps to talk it out to someone, but depends on the mistake, it can be hard to voice the mistake because I feel so embarrassed, so it has to be someone I know very well who I trust a whole lot typically and usually might be best to write it out first.

But as @Peridot mentioned, logically if you are doing your best, we all make mistakes, so we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it.  It doesn't help to dwell too long on past mistakes.

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storm-petrel

My usual immediate reaction to getting something wrong is to think that I am useless and a pathetic waste of space and the world would be better off if I had never existed.

Once I have calmed down though I usually try to think about what happened as objectively as I can and try to see if there is any real evidence to support those initial thoughts. Usually there is very little real evidence. I may have made a mistake, but everyone does that at times and it is probably something I can learn from, or I may have been unrealistic about my abilities and need to accept that I cannot do everything perfectly. Although meant as a joke I find the phrase, "If at first you don't succeed, try redefining success" to be quite helpful.

Writing things out sounds like a really good idea.  

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Rainbowlife

I sturggle with that a lot, it takes a really long time for me to get over itimages.google,ca

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Chlillis

Yeah, way too much as well in a day, but usually I'm over it after a good sleep, but in the worst cases it has taken days, maybe even weeks to move on.

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PandaPrincess

It really depends how big the mistake is.  If it's a huge, life-changing mistake, then I will feel really, really down about it for years, but if it's a small mistake, I will still feel down about it for a long time, but after a while, it eventually goes away. 

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