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Whiteboots20

How Can I Learn to Cope?

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Whiteboots20

As someone with Aspergers, I can say that it there are times when it gets to be a bit difficult to manage. Since I was diagnosed as a young child, I'd been able to overcome my issues with eye contact and a few other basic social cues. However, I have at least two problems that I actively face every now and then. 

For one, my executive functioning skills. When it comes to simple things like doing laundry, making my bed and cleaning my room, it can be a bit of a problem. It usually takes me around a couple weeks until I do the laundry. As for my room, I'll clean up and make it neat until it gets completely disorganzed and messy. And when it comes more important tasks like project and assignment due dates, it's even worse. It's common for me to misplace my things and a lot of my papers that I carry with me usually get crumpled. (This is actually something I've had problems with for the longest time.) Due to all of this, I've suffered greatly in school for the longest time as well as with my personal hygiene. 

Another problem I'd like to mention has to do with what I feel are shutdowns. Whenever dealing with a stressful situation, I often feel incredibly irritated (which I guess is quite normal for almost anyone), which usually leaves me to cry due to the intense emotions inside of me. If I could describe it, it's as if you're stepping into cold water and your body is reacting to the cold by shivering. With me, once I "step into my own emotions", I can't help but cry, and depending on how bad it is, I could go on and cry for hours. (I guess it's more of a sensitivity thing, I'm not too sure tbh) 

And one of the biggest issues I have are with language. I absolutely hate when people are vague towards me, because in my head, I have no way of piecing everything together. 

 

Example:

Person 1: I've gotten both the pink and the yellow sponges for washing the plates/bowls and glass (respectively). 

Me: What about the utensils? What do I wash those with?

 

It's embarrassing because it seems as if I don't have any common sense, people must think that I'm a complete idiot. And I also struggle with either finding the right words to say or my grammar would be almost completely off. 

From the entire time I was diagnosed up until now, I was (subtly) told that being myself, as an autistic person, is wrong, and that I should try to act as neurotypical as possible. Right now, I just want to know proper coping mechanisms, things I can do so I don't keep continuing on with life like this. I'm just tired of struggling, missing important school deadlines, doing all of these things and never coming back to them, and just being messy all of the time. I want to find a way to do better but I'm not sure how. 

Sorry for this long post, but if you've read it, thank you so much.

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spiderwoman0_2

You sound just like my son, luckily for him he still lives with me so I end up doing everything for him.  Do you live with family or alone?

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Gone away

You could experiment with time management, schedules/timetables/planners and/or using a smart phone for alarms / deadlines etc.

You can achieve pretty much anything you want if you really want. Its normal to be on a learning curve

Separately maybe google time management and Tony Buzan mnemonics.

You will find a way if thats your goal

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Whiteboots20
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8 hours ago, spiderwoman0_2 said:

You sound just like my son, luckily for him he still lives with me so I end up doing everything for him.  Do you live with family or alone?

I currently live with my parents right now 

 

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spiderwoman0_2

I know it must be hard to try and get motivated to do the basic things, I've tried everything with my son and it is a worry but as long as I'm alive I'll help him out and hopefully when it comes to the time he has to fend for himself he'll have got the hang of things...........maybe lol.  I'll just carry on reminding him to do things :)

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spiderwoman0_2

I know my son cries because he has so much emotion and anger inside him when he is going into meltdown, but I've always told him to come and talk to me before he gets to that point, so I can calm him down.  I'm lucky that both my children turn to me when they need calming :) 

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antago

I wasn't diagnosed, but I have all of the symptoms and I've studied psychology long enough to know that I have it. I am a very intelligent person.

I have always struggled with this; when anything gets intense, I want to breakdown or cry. As a man it didn't make sense, and I judged myself very harshly for it and avoided people. But it was very real. It just happened.

I don't know if it has to do with the abuse from my family coupled with the autism or what, but I definitely want to shut down and cry a lot when there are confusions, misunderstandings, stressful situations, etc.

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PandaPrincess

@antago I am undiagnosed too. I have the same reactions to those types of situations. I also have angry outbursts a lot too. It really sucks.

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