Jump to content
Debby

How to develop empathy

Recommended Posts

Debby

Empathy is just something I struggle understanding.  Maybe I do have cognitive empathy, I just don't know.  I will research this topic more to get understanding and grow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DavidTheWitch

I was saying we lack the ToM that article discribes. I am simply differing in technical terms from the article?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gone away
15 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

I was saying we lack the ToM that article discribes. I am simply differing in technical terms from the article?

I don't know. Though I accept there are issues that come along from time to time - focusing on this is the least of my priorities at the moment.

Alot of 'problems with special names' come along when stress levels get too much to manage. Anxiety and overload bring alot of special named sub divisions with it, but the overall related problem (for me) remains overload and anxiety - which can be crippling sometimes.

I think (for myself anyway) its more important to focus on being relatively content with oneself and ensuring I can function in areas that I need to in order to manage life.

There is such alot of info on empathy (and many things) I expect its become over intellectualised. Also alot of presented info is opinion or academic theory.

I just see empathy it as caring about another. Sometimes, we not as attentive as we might be to others and due to necessity prioritise caring about ourselves first.

Sometimes we may be are so stressed we are unable to make sense of all the many combined things we perceive at a moment. This doesn't mean we didn't perceive it though, just didn't process in 'real time'..

I suppose delayed reaction / delayed processing is an example. Sometimes it may be days, weeks, months or years before aspects of an interaction 'click' with me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DavidTheWitch

Well it depends. Science often has a number of different definitions which change over time?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
collectingrocks

For me, empathy has come through years of working and helping people with specific issues. Learning through life experiences and listening to other people's experiences. 

Empathy is a crucial part of my job (where I do an awful lot of therapy)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
collectingrocks

Oh yes, empathy is all about perspective taking which requires theory of mind. It can most certainly be learnt, Also it helps to think before you speak so as to not say the wrong thing 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eliza

I don't know if other aspies do this, but I tend to want to 'fix' other people's problems. It took a long time, but I realize a lot of people just need someone to listen. I suppose that is a form of empathy, (?) to simply listen.

It's weird because my heart either feels nothing (for the other person) or it goes overboard and gets all torn up.  No rhyme or reason, can't help that.

When it comes to hurting other people's feelings; I tend to worry about that too much, after all, I have no control over how they feel. For example, it used to be really hard for me to say no, but I've gotten to the point I'd rather bruise someone else's feelings then end up mad at myself.

On 1/29/2017 at 4:34 AM, Going home said:

I suppose delayed reaction / delayed processing is an example. Sometimes it may be days, weeks, months or years before aspects of an interaction 'click' with me.

So true!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DavidTheWitch
17 hours ago, Eliza said:

I don't know if other aspies do this, but I tend to want to 'fix' other people's problems. It took a long time, but I realize a lot of people just need someone to listen. I suppose that is a form of empathy, (?) to simply listen.

It's weird because my heart either feels nothing (for the other person) or it goes overboard and gets all torn up.  No rhyme or reason, can't help that.

When it comes to hurting other people's feelings; I tend to worry about that too much, after all, I have no control over how they feel. For example, it used to be really hard for me to say no, but I've gotten to the point I'd rather bruise someone else's feelings then end up mad at myself.

So true!

I tend to also when other people let me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf
On 1/28/2017 at 9:38 PM, Going home said:

So another search term is 'autism cognitive empathy' 

Having just read a little I don't think its necessarily true though ... there are people opposed to the idea ... everyone is different

Here's the link

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-alive/201303/guide-reporting-autism-theory-mind-empathy

I agree with a lot of the things said in this article. Proponents of the theory that we we lack theory of mind are suggesting that we don't realize that others have different thoughts and perspectives to those of our own, Of course I realize that others have different thoughts and perspectives. I am capable of thinking about how another person might be feeling. If, for example, I hear that a person has lost a pet or a loved one, then I know that they are likely to be feeling sad, or when they win a competition, they are likely to be feeling pleased. So I am able to put myself in other people's shoes, though I won't necessarily literally feel what they are feeling. The feelings will just be words in my head. What I'm often not able to do is relate to something I haven't experienced. For example, I can't relate to people addicted to drugs because I've never had that experience myself. I can't put myself into their shoes. I think that this is true for NTs as well as autistic people.

For me, the greatest problem is that I'm not always able to process or 'see' their emotions at the time that they are unfolding, at that moment. I don't pick up on and process all the information coming in, both social information and from my environment, so I'm not able to respond to it in a natural way, or in a way expected by other people. And then, when I understand that a person is feeling a certain way, I don't always know how to deal with it and respond, so I do nothing. I simply don't process all this information fast enough, and that's why I often am unable to participate in group conversations, I can't receive and respond fast enough for them.That may seem like a lack of empathy to others, I suppose. I often go back through conversations and analyze them in my head after they have happened to understand them better and see what I might have missed.

I think that it is possible that children with ASD might be delayed in developing theory of mind, but as they mature into adults they learn this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.