Rejection and/or Exclusion

[Asgardian 4,632]

7 hours ago, Live&LetLive said:

@Worthless If I understood rightly, though, I might be wrong, I think she meant that they walked away when she was getting better. So it's what's most mind boggling. That they leave when she was getting better. 

@Eliza is that what you meant? 

I know that. I said it because that would be when she needed support, when starting to make progress. I understood perfectly well what she meant.

[RiRi 8,136]

@Worthless I'm sorry. I thought you might have misunderstood. I guess I understood it wrong. In my personal perspective, when someone is getting worse is when they need others the most. That's why I thought you misunderstood. Again, sorry about that. 

[Asgardian 4,632]

5 hours ago, Live&LetLive said:

@Worthless I'm sorry. I thought you might have misunderstood. I guess I understood it wrong. In my personal perspective, when someone is getting worse is when they need others the most. That's why I thought you misunderstood. Again, sorry about that. 

OK.

Edited February 28, 2017 by Worthless

[Dr-David-Banner 1,133]

I figure I regressed a lot recently with friendships. In fact, it asks a lot of anyone to be totally cut off and unable to relate to anyone at all. I can't really just blame myself as the people around just seem to work and raise families. Where I live there's no music or philosophy or anything beyond basics. Even worse is the way just being different is perceived - no wonder Michael Jackson had such a hard time. It sounds terribly arrogant to repeat this but the term "peasant society" comes to mind a lot. I think it's the environment and emphasis on work and family and just surviving. Every time I meet someone the bitter reality is you're not going to get into a discussion on Etruscan art. The slightest deviation from Facebook or everyday routine and you get strange looks. Of course probably in some other countries it's not as bad.

[....... 296]

On 2/15/2017 at 3:24 PM, Eliza said:

Rejection and exclusion seem to be a part of most aspie lives.

How do you keep a sense of self-worth when this happens?

Catch a wave - walk on water... 

I will do something mid week while they are all at work, slaves to someone else's thought process. Nothing makes me feel more worthy than controlling my universe

I actually think such things are not truly possible for NTs. They truly are a lower life from. 

[Dr-David-Banner 1,133]

"I actually think such things are not truly possible for NTs. They truly are a lower life from."

Careful. NT's equalise collectively to environment. In 1950's Oxford Uni, most NT's  would happily debate genetics or classical music. Yet to do so in my area would be counter-productive as the society is regressed. To survive NT's equalise to the environment so they can still bond.
When the environment crashes and declines, some autists may escape the impact because they don't follow group mentality the same. For very many on the spectrum that then leads to rejection, isolation and difficulty holding a job. This is why depression takes over and in my case a struggle not to go into anti social personality disorder. In effect, the low environment here doesn't effect me. While NT's date, work, do facebook, create families and watch TV I am cut off and learning stuff they don't have time for. The deal is they get friendships, jobs and an ability to be understood. I get strange looks, whispers, rumours, "there's something wrong there", and to date there's scarce chance of holding down any job. And girls aren't interested. Why would they be? Who wants a relationship with someone who can't fit in? Such a person can't make a family, relate to friends or support anyone. For me the pressure is huge not to slip into a more serious psychotic condition or become anti-social.
The positive side is the mental isolation can trigger creativity. The other day I found some tracks I wrote maybe 3 years ago. So to replay them was different as it was like listening to music someone else had done. I mean, it's hard to evaluate a track you only just did. Anyway, maybe 4 tracks I thought were awesome. They must have been done at my peak in music creativity. I recall being happier at that time and the songs flowed. One day this week I will try to reproduce the chords and sounds in stages by ear alone. After so long it will involve playing the track and then sounding out each chord. Actually it's good practice. One day I worked out Brian Wilsons God Only Knows and it has loads of chords - his music was awesome back then. Where I live nobody is interested. If I ask someone what they think of the coda on Hey Jude only one girl had heard the song. And nobody plays either guitar or keyboard. I just have to do music on my own purely for myself.

[Nesf 9,342]

5 hours ago, ....... said:

I actually think such things are not truly possible for NTs. They truly are a lower life from.

I don't agree with this, and find the statement somewhat arrogant. Generally speaking, NTs think and operate in a different way to us, but that doesn't make them inferior or less intelligent. The way I see it, I just have a different way of thinking and a different set of skills - they mostly have better social skills, whereas my analytical skills might be better. That does not make me a superior person, just a different one.

4 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

Such a person can't make a family, relate to friends or support anyone.

I don't think that it follows that because a person doesn't fit it, they should be incapable of having a relationship, having friends and supporting others. People, including those on the spectrum, will automatically gravitate towards those they can relate to more, or those who have similar interests. There may not be too many people with the same interests, on the same wavelength, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist and you can't be friends with them. Many people on the spectrum have families, jobs, friends and can be very supportive of others: just look at the response on this forum when people ask for advice about a problem, or need support. Fitting in is all about finding the right environment to suit you (one job may not suit you but a different one might), and friendships/relationships are about finding the right person for you and not being afraid to take a risk to find that person.

[Dr-David-Banner 1,133]

"Many people on the spectrum have families, jobs, friends and can be very supportive of others: just look at the response on this forum when people ask for advice about a problem, or need support."

This has been tricky for me to make sense of (for a while now). This experience of family and friends in the context of autism doesn't relate to my own experience. My immediate family feel like strangers and the rift continues to widen. Work is complicated to describe but (to put it bluntly) the experience was much the same as school - constantly urged to accept inferiority. There were cases where employers were satisfied but they would get complaints elsewhere. At the time I had no conception of a pattern or connection as I had no idea about autism back then. Sure, I had periods where for months I held a job down but instability lurked. As to friends, yes, I had one or two in the past, usually a bit unorthodox. Strangely too, at the moment I get quite a few people being unusually nice and, at the same time disapproving. As if they like me but feel I ought to sort myself out. Then I get some others who seem jealous and insecure. The bottom line is I don't have any normal friends as I don't relate. People are beyond my scope of ability to find any connection. To fill the void I spend 90 per cent of my time soaking in information. In some ways that makes things even worse as I appear a know-all. Plus in view of being rejected as inferior in the past I tend to strive to get better at whatever it is I do. It's like therapy. So, there is my problem: Both friendships and employment don't figure in my life. As to women, I prefer female company but relating to them is like on a feminine level. I may be liked but sexual attraction is unlikey as women need to relate to a man as supportive and with some kind of status (or popularity). Do i get depressed or worried? Well, part of me is aware how being normal would be so much easier. Then the other part tends to think normal people are mostly shallow and materialistic and it seems boring.

[Dr-David-Banner 1,133]

"NTs think and operate in a different way to us, but that doesn't make them inferior or less intelligent."

The NT's on the audio electronics site are quite intelligent or maybe good at maths. However there are lots of other factors. I read a very good essay by somone about association and connecting. Observation is also important. A lot of big discoveries were often made by accident or careful observation. From my experience there's a lot of arrogance on tech websites but the only people with a right to boast are the pioneers. I mean those who invented the principles. You can make a super fast racing car but someone initially invented the wheel..

[....... 296]

Come on guys - Are you sure?? 

Firstly what do you mean by intelligent?

Remember - these days a massive amount of folk who think they are NT and who you think are NT are not at all. 

Its starting to look like maybe as many as 3 in ten people are on the ASD spectrum not 1 in 100.

 

To me - a lower life form is somebody who can't see whats happening - really happening - the true meaning behind 'things'.... If it can't be seen - your life is a waist. You are just a dust particle, in a fully automatic universe, with no control, a victim of circumstance. If it can be seen - you control that particle. That puts you into a higher state of consciousness. 

Funny thing is - when I am in that higher state, the NT will look down on my like I'm a (they think) retard.