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Eliza

Rejection and/or Exclusion

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.......

So - get in with them, be like them, thats fine.... If thats what really floats your boat. 

I prefer not - unless they can show me that they understand the deeper reasons of the universe. If they can't, they are stupid

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Nesf
5 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

There were cases where employers were satisfied but they would get complaints elsewhere.

This is my experience too - I may be able to do the job, but have difficulties fitting in with the work colleagues. I once worked at a school, and it was a disaster - it was completely the wrong environment for me as an autistic person. But there are some people on the spectrum who have full time jobs and are successful - it's a case of finding the right environment.

5 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

As to friends, yes, I had one or two in the past, usually a bit unorthodox.

 

5 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

The bottom line is I don't have any normal friends as I don't relate.

This is also my experience - I never fit into the normal mainstream crowd and found that I couldn't relate or that people weren't interested in being friends with me, but often found friends in people who were for one reason or another on the fringes, 'oddballs' who also don't fit into mainstream society. I find that people tend to operate on a superficial level and I don't have a deeper connection, people aren't really friends, just acquaintances, people who talk to me and that's it. But it's not the case that I can't have friends and am not capable of having a relationship, it's just especially difficult to find people I can relate to on a deeper level. I feel kind of detached, I don't get that deeper emotional connection and don't get out of relationships what most people seem to get.

You say that you socialize with a group of female friends and that you find it easier to get on with women than men, that you help in a shop, etc - that surely must mean that you relate to them on some level at least, or why would you bother?

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Nesf
21 minutes ago, ....... said:

Firstly what do you mean by intelligent?

I mean cognitive intelligence, the capacity for logic, problem solving, creativity, emotional knowledge, self-awareness, capacity for acquiring knowledge and then applying that knowledge to a different situation or environment. The term 'lower life form' implies a lack of cognitive intelligence, where clearly this is not the case. The NT world revolves round relationships, emotional connections, bonding with people, shared values, being a part of a group, team or whole, they see things through a social-emotional lens and social relationships are important to them - but that doesn't mean that they are less intelligent or inferior, just different.

 

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Nesf
49 minutes ago, ....... said:

I prefer not - unless they can show me that they understand the deeper reasons of the universe. If they can't, they are stupid

I certainly don't profess to know or understand the deeper reasons of the universe - nobody does, not even the brightest minds or most advanced technology can explain the existence and purpose of the universe. And I'm not a spiritual or religious person, so I don't look there for explanations. But that certainly doesn't make me stupid or a lower life form.

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.......

Aha - well advanced technology is certainly not gonna explain things. They do try tough. 

Actually - of course you are not stupid nor are others (only sometimes) but using such word is the only way i ever get a reply, on any forum, not just this one. 

Folk run a mile when such chat arrises... Why? 

I don't get it. 

Perhaps not all aspies have a form of inner vision or perhaps its been beaten out them by bullies, teachers etc etc. Certainly they tried it to me as a school boy. Especially when i told them that there was a black hole at the centre of out galaxy and most likely every star has a planetary solar system... WRONG were the words of the astronomy teacher in 1981... Of course we now know - the 8/9 year old weird boy was RIGHT... 

Same thing happens today - only my insights go faaaaaar deeper. Too deep for most to even contemplate. Only others I know who can slightly grasp things are most likely mild ASD.

Not even Einstein could see things intuitively - he refused to believe his results. Said - God does not play dice. He believed same as everyone does today - and that is 400 year old way of looking at life. He though that we were in what appears to be like a giant fish tank of the universe and the planets/particles like billiard balls...That is an illusion and it is put in peoples minds by their own disbelief in actually what IS happening. 

 

Look very closely at things and you'll see it. They are not really there. What appears to be a door or a table is actually a word in your mind. Get yer head around that. I think its an easy concept to get... I just see a collection of waves when i See in a n awakened state. 

BTW - none of this is what i would call 'spiritual' although people love to say it is - because they think it takes away anyThing for it. 

What I am talking about is True reality and the stuff folk run around looking for and trying to save up for or pay bills for is a not reality - its a faked version of it. A deceptive version of it. A version that takes away peoples enjoyment of the great way. A trick..... 

 

"He'll bring his perfume to your bed" 

 

Few flowers on your grave - that makes up for it 

Errr - No :D

Edited by .......

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.......
On 2/24/2017 at 1:03 AM, Eliza said:

It took me a while to decide if I wanted to post this online, but thank you for asking.

It's my adult children. They exclude me from family holiday events and it hurts like hell. They send me gifts, call on holidays, that's about it. In all honesty, I wasn't a very good mom I didn't know I had Aspergers or I probably would not have had them--not that aspies can't be good parents. They can. I wasn't though--the noise kids make put me over the edge most of the time.

Anyway, I really want to be at peace about this. I have my faith now, which helps, but I feel double-minded. Half the time I'm happy, feel good about myself, then the pain hits my heart and throws everything out of whack.

This was my mother - going through the exact same thing.. Now she's dead. They didn't know how she felt.. I did - and i could cast out a spell and tell them what she thought. Change their perception of her for ever. 

When she took her last breath - she looked at me and i knew, she was thinking, "You clever sod, you're right" as she look at us one way and into nothingness the other way. 

 

This is it..... IT - THIS - US 

Enjoy it now or all your have is a few flowers - "he'll bring his perfume to your bed" 

 

PS - its perfectly ok to feel exhilarated at the same time as you feel low. Low and high are connected in th middle with no exact point that one becomes the other - so actually they are the same - two side of the same thing. 

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.......

 

We've all got excuses! :D

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Dr-David-Banner

" they see things through a social-emotional lens and social relationships are important to them - but that doesn't mean that they are less intelligent or inferior, just different."
The idea is collective effort. There's got to be some connection to enable people to help each other. If there was no connection people would be at less of an advantage to survive. Now times are harder, survival where I live equates to lower level functioning. It's a result of economic and educational downturns. At other periods in time survival may have meant being very polite and technically skilled (Japan in the 80's).
Einstein didn't seem to have any overly negative autism traits. He was a loner and outsider but had good communication skills and married. He had substandard executive functional skills and didn't do well in the class system. I noticed most of the geniuses tended to have a dash of autism and be Jewish. AS is highly diagnosed among European Jews but they seem to be able to benefit from the condition. I have the negative traits very strong - disconnection, disassociation, dyspraxia, sometimes meltdowns or mood swings.

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Dr-David-Banner

"Only others I know who can slightly grasp things are most likely mild ASD."
There's a problem with the AS = more intelligent equation. I've read up on this quite a lot in fact.
First point is many psychologists distinguish between (1) the Asperger personality, (2) the genius or even (3) the savant. Many feel the genius child and the AS child are two distinct phenomena. The former can't relate to other children due to far more developed intellect. The latter, on the other hand, is unable to read non verbal language. Some psychologists distinguish because lots of AS adults don't go on to become Darwins or H G Wells or Hans Christian Andersons. There's always been a danger of parents jumping the gun and assuming their AS offspring will grow to become scientists or physicists.
Paul Cooijman wrote an interesting essay on this.
Then another angle is the Savant one. Apparently you can have AS and Savant Syndrome but you can be NT and have Savant Syndrome. Personally I think Muhammad Ali and Bruce Lee were both NT savants. Bruce read an awful lot of philosophy too. Both were at one time rejected by society. Likewise there are AS maths geniuses with Savant Syndrome.
John Lennon by the way I sort of envy. He had a similar personality to mine - day-dreamed, felt different, struggled at school, slept late, unstable family background, had myopia and temper outbursts + loved music. The envy comes in because John did have enough social skills to be on TV, give brief interviews, get along with the band and project an alpha image on stage. If John had had slightly stronger AS attributes he may have never become a Beatle. This is why they say a dash of autism is good but not the full dose. Having said that lots of people hated John Lennon for his different personality and criticism of the establishment.

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Nesf
22 hours ago, ....... said:

Actually - of course you are not stupid nor are others (only sometimes) but using such word is the only way i ever get a reply, on any forum, not just this one. 

So you deliberately call people stupid on forums just to get a reaction?

22 hours ago, ....... said:

Look very closely at things and you'll see it. They are not really there. What appears to be a door or a table is actually a word in your mind. Get yer head around that. I think its an easy concept to get... I just see a collection of waves when i See in a n awakened state. 

What I see is my brain's interpretation of the photons reflected off the object hitting my optical nerve, chemicals and electrical impulses in my brain. It is not a word, but an image as my brain reconstructs those impulses. Things are not really 'there' in the sense that they are composed of atoms, which in turn are composed of particles held together by strong forces, energy. The relative distances between electrons and the nucleus of an atom are equivalent to the distances of the Sun from the planets of the solar system, in that sense there is very little there, matter is composed of nothing but energy arranged in a stable configuration. On the microscopic quantum level, particles such as photons can be observed or measured, but not both at the same time, otherwise they exist as a probability. It is our observance or sensory perception of the matter which gives it substance and form. What we perceive is collection of probabilities in such a vast number that they become real to us.

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