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Eliza

Rejection and/or Exclusion

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.......

Exactly correct - without the word its just a few naughts and ones.....

 

Surely - if you know that then we agree..? 

 

I really hate this fuckin forum :( 

 

Wish i could delete my stuff. 

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Dr-David-Banner

There is the issue! Are the AS forums ahead of NT forums? On this site there are a few people with deep perspectives but they don't post much. Thus, on a level of sophistication I find a few NT sites have got more mature threads going (brexit, environment and so on). There were some deep-thinking members like King Oni no longer here at this time. What really surprises me is there are no special interests debated these days?

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Nesf
On 7/13/2017 at 11:34 AM, ....... said:

Surely - if you know that then we agree..? 

I agree that most people don't want to dig deeper and discuss most topics beyond a very superficial level, that they avoid such conversations. Most people just concern themselves with their daily lives, they go with the flow, they take up the interests of the masses that are more likely to make them popular amongst their peers such as popular TV shows or sports like football, rather than interests that are going to give them knowledge or deeper insight into the world. Because they go with the flow, they don't question what's going on around them, and if they do, they won't say so because they want to fit in and having a different opinion will make them stand out and not be accepted.

Edit: this 'go with the flow mentality' means that everything is brought down to the lowest common denominator and progress is not made.

Edited by Nesf

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Nesf
7 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

There is the issue! Are the AS forums ahead of NT forums? On this site there are a few people with deep perspectives but they don't post much. Thus, on a level of sophistication I find a few NT sites have got more mature threads going (brexit, environment and so on). There were some deep-thinking members like King Oni no longer here at this time. What really surprises me is there are no special interests debated these days?

As I said before, this forum needs new members, with fresh ideas and insights.

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RiRi
15 hours ago, Nesf said:

As I said before, this forum needs new members, with fresh ideas and insights.

Completely agree. We need new people here. 

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Dr-David-Banner

As it happens, something has been happening to me that relates to this thread. I am basically starting to withdraw, both from family and those I got to know. I thought I'd share this as it's kind of strange and maybe it will help me to air it out. It's happened before where I will become less bubbly and just feel far less social. Maybe for a few days. That's why I posted some weeks ago about possible borderline personality disorder. However, in line with this thread, I think the cause of this withdrawing is specifically the way people treat you as "different". I mean, when Nesf stated she gets ignored in her daily life, isn't that plain rude towards her (or others)? I will give an example: Lately about 5 people are living next to me and they formed their own social group. The number of times I was totally ignored (on a level of being ignorant), I lost count. One of these people is an artist so you'd expect a bit of open mindedness because, for heavens sake, even movie stars and musicians can be different. Given this tends to happen pretty much everywhere over prolonged periods, I figure I'm more inclined to want to avoid people. I'm also mega sensitive so the slightest hint of exclusion may cause a reaction. That is, I may just avoid any further communication. I guess this may sound extreme but I think it's been caused by hundreds of small, negative reactions so it builds up. So now I feel my time is better spent studying, taking care of my dog and doing music. Moreover, the daily encounter friends I have seem to have noticed a deep freeze. That bit is awkward as there's a feeling someone caused offence. In reality, there's no single cause. I am just fed up with the vibes I get from people around although I admit avoidance is a bit dramatic. The funny thing is it's been getting much worse to the point I figure I really have just lost the motivation to socialise. My dog loves my company and the vibes are so good as dogs tend to be perceptive.

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Dr-David-Banner

Found this on another site:
"Sometimes when things bother me and I’d rather not tell people I can become angry and withdrawn and of course people around me wonder if it’s anything they’ve done."
That's exactly it. I can say too it feels awkward when your personality just changes and people assume something happened to cause the change in behaviour. In fact, it must be a pain to deal with and a test of patience. Maybe it's a vicious circle all wrapped up in failures of communication, non verbal language, exclusion, patronisation. The bottom line is for me it would be easier to live as if other people didn't exist but then you have no way to communicate and become your own island. Whereas NT's are all on the same level so can automatically communicate and share their thoughts.
It would be nice to find an answer but so far the best one I have is to channel it all into creativity.

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Nesf
5 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

Found this on another site:
"Sometimes when things bother me and I’d rather not tell people I can become angry and withdrawn and of course people around me wonder if it’s anything they’ve done."
That's exactly it. I can say too it feels awkward when your personality just changes and people assume something happened to cause the change in behaviour. In fact, it must be a pain to deal with and a test of patience. Maybe it's a vicious circle all wrapped up in failures of communication, non verbal language, exclusion, patronisation. The bottom line is for me it would be easier to live as if other people didn't exist but then you have no way to communicate and become your own island. Whereas NT's are all on the same level so can automatically communicate and share their thoughts.
It would be nice to find an answer but so far the best one I have is to channel it all into creativity.

I think that this is what is commonly known as a 'shut down' - needing to process emotions and an inability or unwillingness to deal with any new stimulation. Locking up shop and going away.

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Dr-David-Banner

Maybe what happens to people like me is a bit like what happened to Mike Tyson. Mike's background was unstable and the odds against him but he had his boxing skills and dedication. Yet there was an imbalance. Tysons meltdowns were violent ones but they were essentially meltdowns. He struggled to trust anyone and all the insecurity did finally set his career way back. In other words you can do all sorts of things and pass exams but emotional instability has a habit of sabotaging your progress. It happened especially with musicians who were creative through their instability but often crash landed.

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