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DavidTheWitch

When NTs start their bullshit what you do?

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DavidTheWitch

So I told an NT that I eat lunch early and instead of lettting me eat lunch early she tried to tell me I don't.... I do this every day!

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aspieguy

If by "bullshit" you mean "trying to look like they're cleverer than you", I ignore them and/or shout at them. If by "bullshit" you mean "trying to make conversation", I ignore them.

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Peridot
1 hour ago, DavidTheWitch said:

So I told an NT that I eat lunch early and instead of lettting me eat lunch early she tried to tell me I don't.... I do this every day!

So are you saying that the attitude you think she showed is typical of anyone who isn't on the spectrum? :unsure:

Edited by Peridot
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Eliza
1 hour ago, DavidTheWitch said:

I do this every day!

Sounds like (in her mind) she knows you better than you know yourself. I would probably try to make a joke out of that idea, or just ignore her.

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DavidTheWitch
2 minutes ago, Peridot said:

So are you saying that the attitude you think she showed is typical of anyone who isn't on the spectrum? :unsure:

 

I have noticed they do this a lot to me.... Not all of them but enough of them?

 

3 minutes ago, Eliza said:

Sounds like (in her mind) she knows you better than you know yourself. I would probably try to make a joke out of that idea, or just ignore her.

They assume I am lying about everything for some reason!

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Gone away
2 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

I have noticed they do this a lot to me.... Not all of them but enough of them?

You live in a group home.

Do you have care plan or stuff documented about your typical routines, risk assessments and more importantly preferences?

If you do maybe you could write out your own version and see if they will support you that way as much as possible?

Also, if you feel they are not treating you right, you could look up advocay services. Having an advocate may help you get your points across to them in a digestible way...

I would not like to live in a group home, but while you are there. you need to find a way of making it work for you in some way

Edited by Going home
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aspieguy
2 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

They assume I am lying about everything for some reason!

My experience is that NTs "pretend" that they think you're lying, but they don't actually mean to imply that they think you're lying. It's important to realise this, because while it is nevertheless a stupid behaviour it's important to realise that they are not accusing you of lying; it's just their way of responding to things.

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Eliza
4 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

They assume I am lying about everything for some reason!

 

1 hour ago, aspieguy said:

My experience is that NTs "pretend" that they think you're lying, but they don't actually mean to imply that they think you're lying. It's important to realise this, because while it is nevertheless a stupid behaviour it's important to realise that they are not accusing you of lying; it's just their way of responding to things.

 

Good point, it's hard sometimes (for me anyway) to know when someone is kidding around vs. being mean. I also notice NTs don't always understand when I'm trying to be funny. Bottom line: let them think whatever they want. You know who you are.

Besides, it's hard for most of us aspies to lie in the first place. They may just be ignorant. 

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Nesf
16 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

They assume I am lying about everything for some reason!

I really don't get this... why would a person assume that you are lying without there being any evidence for it?

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DavidTheWitch
On 2/16/2017 at 2:35 PM, Going home said:

You live in a group home.

Do you have care plan or stuff documented about your typical routines, risk assessments and more importantly preferences?

If you do maybe you could write out your own version and see if they will support you that way as much as possible?

Also, if you feel they are not treating you right, you could look up advocay services. Having an advocate may help you get your points across to them in a digestible way...

I would not like to live in a group home, but while you are there. you need to find a way of making it work for you in some way

 

Do you know of any in Florida or Miami.The fact is to the other guys she wasn't joking. She actually decided I was lying for no reason?

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Gone away
2 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

 

Do you know of any in Florida or Miami.The fact is to the other guys she wasn't joking. She actually decided I was lying for no reason?

No, I am in UK. I do know that (apart from the good ones) some very odd people with power abuse issues get employed in social care though. You should find some advocacy services locally if you search the net. You could also ask individuals in services you are in contact with to recommend an advocacy service. A good advocate will help you preserve and exercise your rights as well as communicate with services. They can be useful if you find you get too emotional or have other difficulties getting your point across ....

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Nesf
12 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

The fact is to the other guys she wasn't joking. She actually decided I was lying for no reason?

If this refers to me, I didn't say that I thought she was joking, or that you were lying, I meant that I don't understand why she would say such a thing, when it obviously isn't true!

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Gone away
4 hours ago, Nesf said:

If this refers to me, I didn't say that I thought she was joking, or that you were lying, I meant that I don't understand why she would say such a thing, when it obviously isn't true!

I don't think it refers to you Nesf.  

I do know some social care staff do abuse their status position and lie knowing that the vulnerable tenant will not be believed. Those are the sort of people that often rise through the hierarchy

Edited by Going home
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DavidTheWitch

I need someone to advocate for me... Sorry some of you are not good at communicating which is to be expected.

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Harrow

Its literal vs figurative, how do you know your early means her early? For Aspies often literal speak is the normal and preferred method, for NT's its more figurative and more a form of banting. So I wouldn't read to much into it:)

That's just an observation mind you, regardless of been on the spectrum or not everyone is unique.    

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RiRi
On February 16, 2017 at 8:09 AM, DavidTheWitch said:

So I told an NT that I eat lunch early and instead of lettting me eat lunch early she tried to tell me I don't.... I do this every day!

It could be that sometimes people say "no you don't" because they intend on not letting you do whatever it is that you say you're going to do. If you eat lunch early, but she didn't let you then she made it be true that you didn't eat early that day. Does she always stop you from eating early? Or did you meant you eat lunch early every day?

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Eli

Lots of good points made. Personally, my response would be, "Okay." If it was confrontational, you shut it down. If it's not, you don't create one. It's so hard to tell what goes through the mind of an NT, so I don't try to understand it if I don't have to. I just don't get involved.

"I eat lunch early."

"No you don't."

"Okay."

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lifeis

same thing I'd do to an aspie who starts their bullshit-

response appropriately.

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