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Do We Even Have Asperger's Anymore?

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Nesf

Aspergers might have been a valid diagnostic difference when we were a closer more social society but now where most live alone in this synthetic communication age could it be aspergers is the reality of most people where those still functioning undiagnosed haven't got to the melt down point yet where diagnosis often comes ?

 

Because at one time that melt down was taken as schizophrenia and many an aspie ended up on dangerous medication and often denied freedom.

While people spend more time online than they used to, I don't think it would ever replace real life social contact, because socialising is part of human nature and a basic need for most (NT) people. I mean, pubs bars and restaurants seem to be as popular as ever and given the choice between going out with their mates and sitting alone at the computer, most people would chose the former.

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Andy

While people spend more time online than they used to, I don't think it would ever replace real life social contact, because socialising is part of human nature and a basic need for most (NT) people. I mean, pubs bars and restaurants seem to be as popular as ever and given the choice between going out with their mates and sitting alone at the computer, most people would chose the former.

Not really regards the alcohol industry as that is under real threat with countless establishments closing down daily through a host of reasons where perhaps it is societal engineering is changing us.

 

But one thing most will agree on the cost of living is too high and so where many would have gone out, many now stay in through not having the spare capital nor quite often the energy given how much they have had to work to get what they have  where in the past one would have had to work less to achieve the same and have spare funds available to go out.

 

UK-worst quality of life in Europe

 

Cost of living five times higher than the average pay rise

 

The UK compared to the USA yeah, rip off Britain !

 

The death of the British Pub

 

And so given more are having to stay at home or stay in what do they do, do they go to other adult venues where adults gather and if so which, are there any, or do they just sit in and go online or watch tv on their own?

 

And then the question, can this kind of lifestyle bring out what is perhaps in all of us ?

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Mike_GX101

While people spend more time online than they used to, I don't think it would ever replace real life social contact, because socialising is part of human nature and a basic need for most (NT) people. I mean, pubs bars and restaurants seem to be as popular as ever and given the choice between going out with their mates and sitting alone at the computer, most people would chose the former.

 

I can't remember the last time I went into a pub...ah yes I do - it was a cold wet day some months back and I'd gone in to order a coffee to sit outside with my bike.  But other than the occasional refreshing coffee during a ride I don't go to pubs. 

 

Given the choice I'd rather be online than go out to the pub etc.  When I go in a pub I feel more lonely than when I'm on my own.  It quite often feels like me and them.  I just can't interact on the same level.  Such occasions deprived of any alcohol just feel plain wrong to me.  When I've had a few I feel right at home dancing in that large crowd but without alcohol I just can't break the ice and socialise like they do.

 

People talk too fast about stuff I can't even engage with.  Or at least I do but then by the time I've thought of a reply the conversation has moved on.  I just can't keep up.  I just end up sitting there not talking.

Edited by Mike_GX101

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Toran

I can't remember the last time I went into a pub...ah yes I do - it was a cold wet day some months back and I'd gone in to order a coffee to sit outside with my bike.  But other than the occasional refreshing coffee during a ride I don't go to pubs. 

 

Given the choice I'd rather be online than go out to the pub etc.  When I go in a pub I feel more lonely than when I'm on my own.  It quite often feels like me and them.  I just can't interact on the same level.  Such occasions deprived of any alcohol just feel plain wrong to me.  When I've had a few I feel right at home dancing in that large crowd but without alcohol I just can't break the ice and socialise like they do.

 

People talk too fast about stuff I can't even engage with.  Or at least I do but then by the time I've thought of a reply the conversation has moved on.  I just can't keep up.  I just end up sitting there not talking.

Yep thats its right to the point, I feel the same every time I went so I dont bother its not a nice experience you may as well be on another planet for how much notice id taken of you.

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Mike_GX101

All I see are dozens of mouths moving up and down and a drowning of chitter-chatter after about ten minutes while I'm checking around for the nearest exit.  It is just no fun for me to sit there and be blanked out like that.  That isn't who I am.  I have better things to do with my time.

 

Sadly it does have consequences when it comes to dating because those are also the places the hottest ladies hang out.  Then there are also the missed networking opportunities especially in terms of work.  Did you know many people have landed dream jobs just by talking to the right person in a pub?  Did you know that social networking in a company is a sure-fire way towards promotion?  And so if you do have a social difficulty whether it is Asperger's or something very similar then you do have significant disadvantages in life.

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Nesf

Not really regards the alcohol industry as that is under real threat with countless establishments closing down daily through a host of reasons where perhaps it is societal engineering is changing us.

 

But one thing most will agree on the cost of living is too high and so where many would have gone out, many now stay in through not having the spare capital nor quite often the energy given how much they have had to work to get what they have  where in the past one would have had to work less to achieve the same and have spare funds available to go out.

 

UK-worst quality of life in Europe

 

Cost of living five times higher than the average pay rise

 

The UK compared to the USA yeah, rip off Britain !

 

The death of the British Pub

 

And so given more are having to stay at home or stay in what do they do, do they go to other adult venues where adults gather and if so which, are there any, or do they just sit in and go online or watch tv on their own?

 

And then the question, can this kind of lifestyle bring out what is perhaps in all of us ?

Ok, then maybe people don't go to the pub as often as they used to for economic reasons, but I stand by my argument that people have eveolved to be social animals - I look at my sister, for example - or the vast majority of people here - they may not go out as often as they used to, but still socialise - they watch DVDs or football matches together, they have friends over for dinner or drink, fo for a coffee, etc.

 

 

I can't remember the last time I went into a pub...ah yes I do - it was a cold wet day some months back and I'd gone in to order a coffee to sit outside with my bike.  But other than the occasional refreshing coffee during a ride I don't go to pubs. 

 

Given the choice I'd rather be online than go out to the pub etc.  When I go in a pub I feel more lonely than when I'm on my own.  It quite often feels like me and them.  I just can't interact on the same level.  Such occasions deprived of any alcohol just feel plain wrong to me.  When I've had a few I feel right at home dancing in that large crowd but without alcohol I just can't break the ice and socialise like they do.

 

People talk too fast about stuff I can't even engage with.  Or at least I do but then by the time I've thought of a reply the conversation has moved on.  I just can't keep up.  I just end up sitting there not talking.

Excellently put. That's exactly what happens to me when I go out to a pub or restaurant with a group of people - I feel detached and not part of it, like watching it all on TV. No one understands why I don't speak. It's boring. Not even the drink helps.

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Andy

I go to pubs often and yes I actually do have to force myself to go sometimes as I would rather stay in, but sometimes I am aware I spend too much time on my own and really do need to socialise perhaps for my own good, hence the forcing myself to go out. But in pubs I have to drink alcohol and often a lot because I am not comfortable amongst others where a lot even with my close friends I feel unwanted, but tolerated perhaps out of manners sometimes. This feeling is destructive but I can subdue it with alcohol. I would of course like not to drink alcohol, but if I didn't I would not socialise because I would not be comfortable amongst others.

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Mike_GX101

That is how alcoholism can start though so you have to be careful.  To rely on alcohol to get you from point A to point B socially is bad.  You have to be able to do it without.

 

I bet too many of us compensate with things like this (such as with tobacco, caffiene and sugar) beyond which we cannot engage as others do.  How much of what we have is masked by those things?  How many addictions are formed because of our inherent need to fill that gap we cannot fill because we have difficulty with social communication that so many take for granted?

Edited by Mike_GX101

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Nesf

That is how alcoholism can start though so you have to be careful.  To rely on alcohol to get you from point A to point B socially is bad.  You have to be able to do it without.

 

I bet too many of us compensate with things like this (such as with tobacco, caffiene and sugar) beyond which we cannot engage as others do.  How much of what we have is masked by those things?  How many addictions are formed because of our inherent need to fill that gap we cannot fill because we have difficulty with social communication that so many take for granted?

Yes, people with ASD are probably more likely to become addicted as they use it as a coping mechanism, and often don't have the support of friends or family that NTs have, and they may have depression and self-medicate.

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Mike_GX101

And so far we've only spoken about the kinds of addictions we can talk openly about.  There are many others.  I suppose that can be a source of vulnerability.  A person is quite vulnerable if they risk getting involved in substances not already talked about as a form of coping mechanism for social difficulties everyone else takes for granted.

 

That is quite serious because in doing so that coping mechanism could land them in a lot of trouble and even lead to loss of liberties.

 

Some serious stuff really.

 

Now I'm not talking about any of us here but there is definitely a risk factor here especially for those who don't know to seek out help.

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