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RiRi

I thought that older people were supposed to be...

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RiRi

...nicer. By older people I mean like 50 and above. I thought older people were supposed to be nicer because they have lived longer and as such, I would think are more experienced, more mature. However, I think the sad reality is that, in general, older people are not as nice as one would think. I think one of the reasons is because they can no longer mold themselves in other ways of thinking or that it's much harder for them to do so. Like as you grow older, people just lose brain plasticity. It's just I find it unfair that the younger people have to be held accountable for these people. Like we have to subdue to them only because of their age. I would think that they should subdue to the younger ones. Like they would understand more about life so as to not want to fight for childish things like who gets out of a parking space fist. I don't know there are more examples which I can't remember right now. It's definitely a sad a reality that sucks.

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Eliza

As an older, over 50 person, I apologize for anyone who hurt you. (BTW--If I ever say or do anything on this site that comes across as mean, it is never intentional to hurt anyone.) Older people have lived longer which means they've been hurt by others more often. Unfortunately, hurting people often hurt other people. People who are selfish and petty have been treated that way in the past. We Aspies generally do the opposite. We'd rather die than hurt another person because we know all too well what it feels like. 

So in short, don't let the old geezers steal your happiness. :)

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Miss Chief
52 minutes ago, AugustGrace said:

...nicer. By older people I mean like 50 and above. I thought older people were supposed to be nicer because they have lived longer and as such, I would think are more experienced, more mature. However, I think the sad reality is that, in general, older people are not as nice as one would think. I think one of the reasons is because they can no longer mold themselves in other ways of thinking or that it's much harder for them to do so. Like as you grow older, people just lose brain plasticity. It's just I find it unfair that the younger people have to be held accountable for these people. Like we have to subdue to them only because of their age. I would think that they should subdue to the younger ones. Like they would understand more about life so as to not want to fight for childish things like who gets out of a parking space fist. I don't know there are more examples which I can't remember right now. It's definitely a sad a reality that sucks.

First of all, people are people, we are all capable of good and bad, nice and nasty and I don't think age comes into it. If anything I would say older people tend to be less friendly. They've put up with more crap and have less patience with it, they also have less time left to live their lives and so they value it more than others. However, you get nicer old people the same as you get nasty/impatient young ones.

Second and I am not having a go just trying to clarify... I don't think you meant subdue... that means "to bring under control" and you can't 'subdue to someone' you could 'subdue a person' or 'subdue a group' but you can't do it 'to' someone. Did you mean Submit which means "to yield or defer"?

Finally what do you mean young people are held accountable for these (older?) people?

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Gone away

If you put age and niceness on a graph .... it would not be linear.

Wisdom does theoretically accompany age but access to it requires a reasonable degree of internal serenity and stability.

People over 50 do have bad periods in life (like anyone) where the stress they experience exceeds their capacity to deal with it. 

Lifes variables are too unpredictable and chaotic to always manage in comfort all the time.

Speaking for myself, I don't want to be my physical or mental age 100% of the time.

Maybe older people who are occasional shits are just perhaps more accomplished shits through years of practice of not coping or carrying round old battle scars :)

Seriously though, I don't think life is so predictable

I like Tony Buzan explanation of memory and emotions. If you draw a wavy graph line - that represents our emotional / cognitive state at any time. At the point the learning info enters this curve is the place (state of mind) it is most easily retrieved.

So if we learn all about tolerance and acceptance when we are relaxed, we are unable to access it as well when frustrated or angry. In theory of course. :).

He also has theories on plasticity - which is essentially use it or lose it.

As a middle age person I don't view many people as old anymore. When younger everyone looks old and when older everyone looks young. :)

 

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RiRi

@Miss Chief Yes, I meant submit. I couldn't think of the word. So the accountable part should be excluded and subdue be replaced with submit to. 

I think you're right and there's assholes in any type of group. I just thought that in general they would be nicer, but I was wrong. 

I went to a restaurant the other day and was made Sat with the younger, exrroverted folks while some 60 or 50 year olds were sat in another are where there wasn't many people. I just thought they probably sat them in the quiet area because they're old. And I wished I had an autistic card so I could tell them to sit me in the quiet area. 

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Gone away
31 minutes ago, AugustGrace said:

I just thought they probably sat them in the quiet area because they're old.

Maybe, or maybe because it was thought they would cramp the style of younger clientelle, or maybe they asked for a quiet spot, or maybe the staff thought they would spend more money or tip better there.

I rarely eat out but if I do its and am being directed to a table I don't like the look of  - I will suggest an alternative table of my choosing. They are usually helpfully accommodating to requests as they want and rely on repeat business and good repute.

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RiRi

@Going home You're right. Lately I had tried to ask for things or just go ahead and do them, because Sometimes when I ask they say no, but I guess either way if I went ahead and did it without asking they could say no. I will try to continue to ask, even if they say no. I guess I'll never know until I ask, but no answers are always dreading to me. I guess I should expect a no to not feel so bad if they do say no.

 

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Gone away

Yes,  I wouldn't be shy. I just say things anyway which embarrasses my partner and son.

At the end of the day they want your money and you can always go somewhere else if they don't.

Once you have asked once and got a positive response it gets easier.

Sometimes they say no if the tables are pre-booked, which is ok - but you are the paying customer (and choose which establishment to frequent) - not the victim

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StarlessEclipse

Advanced age does not necessarily guarantee kindness or wisdom. The widespread assumption that it does simply makes a lot of older people feel a sense of entitlement to above-average respect and gives them an excuse to be abusive, knowing that they'll have society's support when they feign victimhood after someone stands up to them.

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.......

Over here in this nationalist island :( 

the oldies are the most narcissistic - the baby boomer generation! They are all very bitter and tight and stingy.. well mostly anyway. They're the ones who voted leave in Brexit. They are mostly all well off financially but are all moody and bitter. 

 

Think  it's because they all feel tricked. 

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